This is based on my own personal early experiences in the church as a disabled child. As a child I can vividly remember attending church on a semi-regular basis, I can also vividly remember being dragged to the alter for “healing.” As a kid, I would often wonder what was it I need healing from. I was good kid, as far as kids went, at least I thought. This practice planted a seed that I still struggle to uproot. In my mind, I am thinking why do I need to be healed, what is wrong with me that I have to heal?? If I needed to be healed then there must be something wrong with me. In my quest to be like everyone else, I went to the alter to be prayed for and “healed” but the crazy thing was when I returned to my seat I felt no difference, or no change I should say. So after a few times of going to the alter and still no change I began to realize two things: one what I was supposed to be healed from was my disability and two, there was still no change I was still disabled. I began to think that God must not love me because He will not heal me from my disability.
If God did not love me enough to heal me, then how could any human being love me, how could I even love myself? I carried with me a hatred that had developed for myself for many years, the hatred became so bad that it developed a life of its own. One day I decided I was tired of feeling like this, there has to be something better than this. I pick up the Bible and started reading God’s word, the more I read the more I started to understand that we are all created in God’s image, which has nothing to do with who or what we are physically .
I started thinking if this is true then that means one of two things: One, God does not make mistakes, and two, I was created just the way God desires me to be. If these things are true then why do pastors and other people in the church want to heal people with disabilities, what is it exactly that we need healing from?? If we like everyone else created in the image of God and God does not make mistakes then that must mean that disabled people are disabled because that is God's plan for their lives.
When it comes to the disabled, many times people want to reference Jesus allowing the blind man to have sight or the deaf man to hear. And yes these things did take place but what people fail to realize or understand is that the only reason these events tool place is because God allowed them to. In this situation it will never be a question of can He but will He??? Jesus allowed the lame to walk the bind to see to show the glory of God. In the case of a disabled person he could correct their situation but HE will only do so if it's going to bring Him glory. What I am really trying to say through my experience is never look at your disability a curse, but as a tool for His glory and to advance His kingdom.