What Happened with suze!

[TiGgEr]

Regarding suze, this will be a long one folks so bear with me!
Also, be warned, there are some harsh swear words many will find offended, I have edited my own usage, but left all logs intact.

It all started about 10/11 months ago with an accusation from suze towards dude, she accused him of calling her a c**t more specifically, as I will show she specifies the word "uracunt" was directed at her, by him.(left that one intact for specifically)

Now obviously, I'm going to take any accusation like this seriously, and I start looking into it by both talking with dude and by searching the logs, suze told me it was said to her in #main which should have made the job very easy and should have provided context to the situation.
dude immediately denied the accusation and if I remember correctly encouraged the search because he was sure I would not find anything, or if it did, he could apologise. This Is where things start getting complicated, I couldn't find it!

I searched my personal logs for the days she thought it had happened and couldn't find anything, dj also searched, still nothing, but she insisted we keep searching and fortunately for me, the way the logging works with my software, it saves each individual month into a separate text file which then allowed me, (and those who are familiar with word processors should know this, you can search for specific words) to quite easily search the entire month and bingo, I found an instance of dude using the word!

On 13 March 2018 I found the following...

[05:27:15] <dude> stfuycunt

Now it's not what she accused him of but I found him saying the word, feeling momentarily disappointed I go back several minutes and start reading what led up to the use of the word to get context and much to my relief I find and/or felt that this could not be the case, you see dude that month had been having problems with his wireless keyboard sporadically malfunctioning, and the context of the log clearly showed this was one of those instances, as you can see for yourselves!

[05:10:39] Nick change: suzebrb -> suze
[05:10:40] <suze> hi chatty
[05:12:04] Chatty ([email protected]) left irc: Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client
[05:15:04] <Wen> Hello I am still here I have to b honest I am feeling very lonely but don twant To intrude
[05:15:30] <Astro> Pull up a seat, Wen,...
[05:15:48] <Astro> The coffee's hot
[05:15:58] <PLinFinland> mine's not
[05:16:13] <Wen> Thanks astro
[05:16:37] <Astro> I often alternate from coffee to tea or hot chocolate in the mornings
[05:17:15] <Astro> along with a hoy bowl of oatmeal,... banana, or fruit bread...
[05:17:22] <Astro> hoy = hot
[05:17:48] <Wen> Would u like a hot choc or coffee
[05:18:17] <Astro> couple that with a chatty group of varying subject matter..lol
[05:18:58] <Astro> coffee seems to open eyes...
[05:19:01] <PLinFinland> i think my coffee went cold waiting for this chatty group to appear
[05:19:30] <Astro> might just need a controversial subject...lol
[05:19:43] <PLinFinland> that often helps
[05:20:02] <Astro> stimulate that gray matter...lol
[05:20:51] <PLinFinland> i tried poking a finger in my ear, it didn't help
[05:21:01] <Wen> Yes a good conversation with understanding friends is real good stuff,as well as the coffee, tea or hot chocolate
[05:21:16] <Astro> true enough, Wen.
[05:22:23] CTCP action: screams out scientologists! from dude (dude![email protected]) to #main
[05:22:46] <Astro> getting your collection of shamrocks ready for the 17th?
[05:23:22] Chatty ([email protected]) joined #main.
[05:23:36] <Astro> chatty...
[05:23:36] <dude> not controversial enough astro?
[05:24:15] <Astro> well,... it's a start, Dude
[05:24:40] <dude> could say mormon but i think we have that covered
[05:25:03] <suze> gu xgRRT
[05:25:10] <suze> hi chatty lol
[05:25:32] <Astro> Chatty lost her voice today?
[05:25:51] Action: Astro pokes Chatty to see if she responds
[05:26:04] <Chatty> Ouch lol
[05:26:07] <suze> lol
[05:26:10] <Wen> Ok what is the subject f the day.what is normal no one knows but we can have fun trying to work it out
[05:26:41] <dude> i threw out 2
[05:26:42] <Astro> Atta way, Wen,... you got the ball rolling
[05:26:51] <Chatty> Astro I wacky u one lol.
[05:26:55] <dude> got a encrypted answer
[05:27:04] <Astro> lol, Chatty...
[05:27:15] <dude> stfuycunt
[05:27:26] <dude> kjfnghutyon
[05:27:48] <Chatty> I don t underst lol
[05:27:49] <Astro> all Greek to me, Dude
[05:27:50] <dude> fuckingkeyboard
[05:28:02] boynamedsue ([email protected]) joined #main.
[05:28:08] <Astro> Susan...
[05:28:12] <boynamedsue> hi
[05:28:15] <dude> reset, seems to work
[05:28:16] <PLinFinland> hi boynamedsue
[05:28:17] <suze> hi susan
[05:28:19] <Chatty> Hows suze
[05:28:20] <dude> susan
[05:28:29] <suze> i'm good i'm all excited about my procedure
[05:28:35] <suze> and i'm all dressed and ready
[05:28:37] <suze> woo hoo

Please note some of the highlighted lines, they will be important later, Astro specifically mentions controversial conversation, dude references both Scientology and Mormonism as controversial subjects and you will see why I mention that shortly. Also notice suze joined an already ongoing conversation happening with other people and dude was responding to them, specifically Astro, also have you noticed how she never says anything afterwards, nobody says anything because they took in the context of it was aimed at his keyboard, everybody understood this, but again please remember this for later as it will come back up.

Now I send a larger portion of the log to suze showing more context hoping that maybe this was it and somehow it was a misunderstanding that she thought was directed at her mistakenly and we could put the whole thing behind us, but, she said that this was not the instance as I will show and asked me to continue searching!
Here is her response.

April 25th 2018

Tigger this is not the conversation. It began as follows, I came into the room, I said hi chatty, but i misspelled that as my hands were not positioned correctly on the keyboard. so it came out gibberish but if you look at the letters i was trying to say hi chatty, then i typed lol in reacation to my having mistyped that, dude said something about scientology, I did not respond, i am not sure what happened next, but he said URACUNT ort UREACUNT I know he was saying this to me, he was pissed, because only a day or so beforehand we had that heated discussion about Mormonism. He did not say SFUCUNT no no no it was URACUNT or UREACUNT
and no i did not say anything cause frankly i was so taken back, so shocked, so upset. I wanted to leave immediately but stayed in for a short time longer and then left. I came back one or two times more and then I stopped coming in for that specific reason. Please recheck

At this point, I'm at a bit of a loss and wanting to settle everything, I asked Daniel to use his mighty powerful tools (he's got the good ones) to search back across the time period suze mentioned the incident occurred and he quickly got back to be with the following list of every instance the word had been used over the past few months, as shown below!

disabled.log.02Feb2018:[11:02:06] <Tryingtocope> She sounds like a real cunt
disabled.log.03Apr2018:[04:34:41] <Maddie> Have a good day... stupid cunt. Lol
disabled.log.04Mar2018:[23:56:41] <nashcast> Fuck Shit Cunt Bitch Cock Whore.
disabled.log.06Feb2018:[20:00:16] <jeff> i not too fond of that type of cuntry
disabled.log.12Feb2018:[16:13:19] <Paul> fuck you all fuck cunt rude selfish ignorant fuckes
disabled.log.12Feb2018:[16:17:11] <Paul> thank you aura you biggest cunt fuck i hate all of you for inaction and lie and p
retense what a waste for me to peruse pig fuck shiit dogs. Liars of the most filthy!
disabled.log.12Feb2018:[16:50:41] <Paul> cunt fucj shit
disabled.log.13Mar2018:[05:27:15] <dude> stfuycunt
disabled.log.21Apr2018:[03:15:53] <suze> I have nothing to say to you, you called me a cunt

Now remember, we are almost through towards the end of April, and as you can see here these are the search results of every instance of the word, supplied by Daniel going back to the very beginning of February, Every Instance!

And I forward this to suze hoping that this is finally going to show her that she must have been mistaken when we could put this all to rest, we just couldn't find anything, nothing, three different independent searches, Nothing!
To which she responds

April 26th 2018

I don't know what to say...I remember this vividly and completely. Don't know what to do with this info.
Maybe I just need to leave the room
suze

Please note "vividly and completely"

Unsure of where to go next, I agree that maybe a little space was a good idea so that we can all put this behind us and she stayed away from chat for several days before returning, I hoped that when she did, it would be with a fresh resolve to put everything behind us, but I was wrong. Also I need to add somewhere around this time she also said that we were all wrong, the logs were wrong, Daniels logs and software were wrong, and she was right because she remembered it "vividly and completely"!

Upon her return we start seeing things like this

[03:00:15] suze ([email protected]) joined #main.
[03:00:21] <suze> hi
[03:00:22] <dude> suze
[03:00:55] <suze> dude, I would really appreciate it if you did not talk to me
[03:01:19] <dude> oh, ok, if thats what you want
[03:01:25] <suze> thank you
[03:01:33] <dude> not sure what i did..
[03:06:03] suze ([email protected]) left irc: Quit: Disabilities-R-Us v4.2 - Copyright © 1997-2017 Daniel Stanisinski)

Seeing this, I wasn't sure what to do, I felt she needed more time so asked dude to give her some space, to keep it to a minimum with just some politeness, greetings and goodbyes etc I just wanted to keep the peace and he responded no problem, WE just wanted to keep the peace, even though we never found any instance of her accusation, we tried, more specifically, dude tried, I also e-mailed suze what I had asked of dude, hoping that just a little time back in the room everything would go back to normal!

I then started receiving e-mails like the following

Aug 11th 2018

It seems dude is not going to respect my wishes so I will put him on ignore from now on
suze

Now, remember, we agreed upon minimal interaction, politeness (and in hindsight I'm not sure I should have but we just wanted to keep the peace) I e-mailed informing her I had asked this of dude and she responded okay!

This also wasn't enough and it got to the point where if five different people , one of them being suze were talking about the weather in #main and dude is also mentioned something about the weather, she would also complain about this, so now he wasn't even able to join in with group conversations that she was in even if it wasn't specifically addressed at her, he was just joining in a group conversation.

Here I felt things were getting a little ridiculous, dude told me he felt he was feeling shackled because now by my request he was avoiding general conversations because it was upsetting suze.
I agreed with him, thinking despite everything we have tried we still cannot please her and how could he "operator" effectively as a moderator when his own speech and participation in the room is restricted? I told him to forget it, to just be polite but to not worry any more, we were never going to make her happy!
This went on for a while, I would receive the occasional complaint in pm, she would take the occasional couple of days off and then recently it all came back to, quite strongly in fact!

Then this happened (please continue)

[TiGgEr]

continued...

Then this happened

[02:23:08] suze ([email protected]) joined #main.
[02:23:13] <dude> suze
[02:23:14] <suze> hi
[02:23:15] <iagar> hi suze...
[02:23:20] <Skyriver> wb suze
[02:23:23] <iagar> you still have snow?
[02:23:25] <suze> Hey girl
[02:24:02] <iagar> it kind of snowed here...
[02:24:06] <dude> hope you found all your guest for penn and teller
[02:24:11] <suze> Will not buy me but other parts of the city yes so in my area the snow basically fell for a while it was gone in a couple of hours but there are certain areas that it snowed 7 in you know so it really depends upon what part of the city you live in did you know that they closed the schools today and call the snow day because of the freaking snow LOL
[02:24:12] <iagar> not enough to stick...
[02:24:43] <suze> Dude why do you insist on talking to me when I have asked you not to speak to me take her has asked you not to speak to me and DJ his asked you not to speak to me
[02:24:47] <iagar> wow
[02:25:58] <iagar> the last time it snowed like that here... in our town... that they closed the schools was back in the 60s
[02:26:04] <PLinFinland> ignore button must be broken
[02:26:26] <suze> I logged every single conversation that takes place in this room
[02:26:30] <dude> no one has asked me not to speak to you, as a mod, i will converse with anyone i choose, you can choose to put me on ignore. i will speak to chatters anytime i want...
[02:27:01] <dude> please log away, your the only one looking foolish...
[02:27:12] <suze> And what kind of moderator goes around and harasses somebody who has asked them to leave them alone to not speak to them to not comment on things that they say you should that person be a moderator?
[02:27:45] <iagar> hey PL so... how are you doing
[02:27:47] <dude> i dont harass anyone, i ask normal questions
[02:28:03] <suze> That is utter and complete b*** and you know it you are harassing me
[02:28:08] <PLinFinland> ok ty iagar, yourself?
[02:28:22] <iagar> doing good... thank you
[02:28:30] <PLinFinland> good to hear iagar
[02:28:32] <iagar> my ankle still hurts at times
[02:28:49] <dude> by saying hi?, i will say hi to as many as i can
[02:28:54] <PLinFinland> old age effects us all at some point
[02:28:57] <iagar> my husband said i should wear the boot
[02:29:04] <iagar> i know PL...
[02:29:46] <suze> I wonder how the other Chatters in this room feel now that they're aware that you've been harassing me and that I have asked you not to speak to me Tigger I have talked to him a number of times about this situation and he has a relay to you that I do not want you to speak to me I have asked DJ to relieve that message to you as well because you cont
[02:29:47] <suze> inue to speak to me against my will and harass me and yet you are still continuing to do it
[02:29:48] <iagar> my daughter has to wear that ankle... bracelet...
[02:29:55] <Skyriver> iagar does youre grandaughter know if shes expecting a girl or a boy
[02:29:56] <iagar> she is on house arrest
[02:30:06] <dude> other chatters?
[02:30:10] <iagar> a baby girl
[02:30:14] <dude> feel free to chime in
[02:30:37] <PLinFinland> use the ignore button, if you can't do that, live with it
[02:30:47] <dude> 1 chime
[02:30:57] <suze> I will no longer be silent I will no longer be bullied and harassed by this
[02:31:02] <iagar> suze... just dont pay attention when dude writes something
[02:31:06] <PLinFinland> must be uncomfortable things to wear iagar
[02:31:07] <dude> anyone else willing to share truth?
[02:31:11] <Skyriver> I like both of you
[02:31:21] <suze> I can't iager you have no idea how he has been harassing me and bullying me for months and months and months and I have had enough
[02:31:24] <iagar> i love talking to all of you
[02:31:50] <dude> if you continue to say i am harassing you when i am not will get you kicked...
[02:31:59] <dude> i have NEVER bullied you
[02:32:05] <Skyriver> and I think we all deal with so much
[02:32:07] <dude> do not say it again!
[02:32:08] <suze> I speak my truth my truth is my truth
[02:32:08] <PLinFinland> never realised saying 'hi' was harassment
[02:32:33] <suze> And now I am being threatened
[02:33:01] <dude> you try asking that question when room is full later, if you dare to seek truth
[02:33:34] <PLinFinland> so only your truth counts suze? rest of us mean nothing, nice attitude to have
[02:33:45] <Skyriver> suze and dude hugs I love both of you..
[02:34:05] <suze> I will no longer be silent I will no longer be silent
[02:34:12] <iagar> we all come on here to talk...
[02:34:20] <PLinFinland> true iagar
[02:34:27] <iagar> we have enough problems...
[02:34:39] <iagar> everyone has to chill...
[02:34:45] <Skyriver> yes each of us goes through alot
[02:34:57] <suze> I have had enough I will not take it anymore I will speak up I will speak
[02:35:19] <iagar> i get picked on here at home... now that my daughter moved in with us
[02:35:37] <iagar> if i say something wrong... which i have...
[02:35:43] <iagar> i get scolded
[02:35:55] <dude> sorry iagar
[02:36:15] <suze> Iagar you can call me any time
[02:36:17] <iagar> that is okay dude... ever since my head injury.. i have no filter
[02:36:26] <iagar> i will suze...
[02:36:26] <dude>
[02:36:45] <iagar> my mouth gets me in trouble...
[02:36:47] <iagar> lol
[02:36:52] <PLinFinland> lol
[02:37:03] <Skyriver> awww iagar
[02:37:13] <iagar> today my husband wanted me to go to another town with him... and our daughter
[02:37:21] <iagar> i didnt want to go...
[02:37:34] <iagar> because i dont like riding in the back seat of my van
[02:37:45] <iagar> since my daughter rides in the front
[02:37:57] <PLinFinland> lil unfair iagar
[02:38:01] <iagar> so i just didnt want to go
[02:38:22] <iagar> PL... she injured her knee last october and cannt bend it
[02:38:37] <iagar> so she needs room to sit in my van
[02:38:39] <suze> Yeah sure did you tell them that?
[02:38:46] <iagar> i did suze...
[02:38:56] <suze> What did they say?
[02:39:00] <PLinFinland> that does make a difference then
[02:39:06] <iagar> but they just kept wanting me to go...
[02:39:27] <iagar> finally i had to say it LOUD and clear... i dont want to go
[02:39:46] <iagar> so i was here at home by myself for about 5 hours...
[02:39:59] <iagar> watching what i want... lol
[02:40:15] <suze> I hear you when you're a nice person and you try to say what you need in a nice way people can not take what you're saying seriously and then you have to do something drastic to get their freaking attention
[02:40:30] <Skyriver> lol iagar
[02:40:38] <iagar> yes that is true suze
[02:40:50] <suze> LOL well that worked out for you while then didn't it 5 hours of peace and quiet amen and Hallelujah
[02:40:52] <iagar> i have always been the passive one...
[02:41:15] <suze> I understand that iager I really do
[02:41:16] <iagar> but since my injury ... i am a lion... i roar... lol
[02:41:33] <suze> You go girl stand up for yourself speak up don't let anybody put you down
[02:41:48] <dude> im not...
[02:42:06] <iagar> suze when i first married my husband... he would say jump'
[02:42:13] <iagar> i would say how high
[02:42:16] <iagar> now...
[02:42:20] <suze> dang girl that sucks
[02:42:21] <iagar> no way...
[02:42:46] <suze> I totally understand when you hit your breaking point you hit your breaking point just like I hit my breaking point 10 or 15 minutes ago
[02:42:48] <PLinFinland> say that to my wife, she'd fall about laughing
[02:42:49] <iagar> i argue back... if i believe i am right
[02:42:56] <iagar> lol PL

In a private conversation with dj she also said she was going to go for dude, to campaign against him, to tell everybody what he did, and that since the accusation he had been constantly bullying her and harassing her and she was going to tell everybody!
dj knowing everything that had happened, and obviously concerned felt the need to share this private conversation with me and I feel the need to also share portions of it because this is part of what actually leads up to her removal!

please continue...

[TiGgEr]

continued...

Feb 23rd 2019

suze: So glad you came in
[04:45:16] suze: I finally stood up to dude we had many many words back and forth
[04:45:34] dj: whats up? i cant see the main room
[04:45:50] suze: you would have to go back about 10 minutes to see what
[04:46:54] dj: if i can figure it out i will, maybe thats what was needed
[04:47:27] suze: Maybe so I mean I feel such a relief just getting it out and saying it in the room in front of everybody but he threatened me he threatened to kick me out of the room
[04:50:12] suze: But I will tell you this I will be silent no more I have never told anybody in this room about dude and how he has been bullying me and harassing me I never told anybody except for you and take her but no more I will tell everybody if he continues to make comments to me if he continues to talk to me and address me I will talk to every single person
[04:50:12] suze: in this room individually and in the room and tell them everything that he has done to me I will no longer Stand By and be silent I am here and I'm sticking up for myself
[04:52:49] dj: wow, whart got the whole thing started?
[04:54:31] suze: Just read the log DJ I just had enough I mean I tried everything I could think of to try to get him to stop talking to me and stop making comments about things I have said in the room that I have not said to him but he just won't quit he's just harassing me and yes bullying and harassing and that's the words that I choose and I feel those are accur
[04:54:32] suze: ate words to describe what he is doing to me
[04:56:01] dj: ok, i will my computer is running slow biut i will in just a few minutes
[04:56:33] suze: Okay no worries I'm taking deep breaths because this has been a very unpleasant experience but you know what I wish that I had done this 8 months ago honest-to-god DJ I wish that I had just spoke up smoked out in the room and just laid it all out there
[04:56:39] dj: don't let things upset you too much
[04:57:10] suze: It's really hard DJ it's really really hard I mean all I wanted was for him to just not address me not make comments about things that I am saying he is doing it purposely to aggravate me he's not trying to have a conversation with me he's just trying to get under my skin
[04:57:44] suze: I've already had four freaking heart attacks and they all were stress-related at the time I do not need this kind of aggravation I don't need to have another freaking heart attack
[04:58:15] dj: calm down then, its not worth that
[04:59:03] suze: Okay okay
[05:00:07] dj: i will bb, im going to try and load the logs, i suck at this wish me luck
[05:00:29] suze: Good luck buddy
[05:51:39] suze: Okay so were you able to find it?
[05:54:01] dj: i downloaded it, unzipped it, now i can't find where the damn thing went in my files grrr i hate the way this hing works
[05:54:21] suze: Oh man you have got to read it LOL
[05:54:27] dj: anyhow, what you suggested might be the best thing you can do
[05:54:42] suze: Yeah I think the four of us should go in a separate room and talk it out
[05:55:11] dj: i will ask tigger to email me the logs if i can't get it open, thats what i usually do
[05:55:24] suze: Ok
[05:57:59] dj: i like the idea of that, when tig was away and there was a disageement. i would send both parties an invite to the attic and talk to them at the same time. i think it givers both parties a chance to just get it all out and try to resolve thibgs
[05:58:27] suze: Oh my God I had no idea why that was something that had been done before that just came off the top of my head I had no idea
[05:59:22] dj: i just really don't understand why all this is going on? i know that there was a mention of him calling you a cunt, i thought it was a typo or misunderstanding
[06:00:50] suze: I still believe he said that to me I know that Daniel could not find any evidence of it but regardless we have not gotten along for a very long time and he has done some extremely rude things to me let me recall your memories he pretended that he forgot that he kept asking me the same question over and over and over you know every other day we'd as
[06:00:51] suze: k me the same exact question he'd ask me hey how are you doing that back procedure you had done how did that work for you he'd asked me if constantly I thought there was something wrong with him I thought maybe he had Alzheimer's or something and then when I talk to you about it I talked to Tigger about it and then all the sudden he was confronted
[06:00:51] suze: with it he stopped doing it but I don't believe for a second that he was just foggy brained and didn't realize he was asking me that I believe he did it on purpose
[06:02:01] suze left the query by disconnecting from IRC
[06:02:09] suze joined the query by connecting to IRC
[06:02:21] dj: wb
[06:02:50] suze: And so then after we had an argument he I just said to him look we don't get along let's just not talk to each other just leave me alone just don't talk to me but he wouldn't do it and there were all of these instances where I was talking to other people and he would make comments about things that I was saying but it was he wasn't trying to have a
[06:02:50] suze: conversation with me he was making comments like okay a couple of days ago I was talking about how I'm going to be going to see Penn and Teller and he says to me what about your pain I ignore him I'm not I'm not answering him and then he says how can you sit up and see a show when you can't even stay in this room for 5 minutes you see some of the
[06:02:51] suze: things that he's saying to me are questioning whether or not I'm telling the truth basically or just little Digs at me
[06:03:32] dj: yeah i do rember that. he was having to change doctors at the time and you were getting steroid injections or something into your spine
[06:04:14] suze: Yes exactly honestly DJ I do not believe for a second if you knew the amount of times that he asked me that same question you know sometimes the very next day it was ridiculous I'm just telling you he wasn't if if he was foggy minded and why didn't this happen to any of the other Cheddar's in the room why were there any other instances of that goin
[06:04:15] suze: g on except with me
[06:05:05] suze: If he was seriously having some kind of foggy brain thing going on others would have seen it it would have been a parents do you understand what I'm saying
[06:06:30] suze: He won't admit it but he hates me and you know why because he got his panties in a bunch one day when I was in here with yag and I said something about Mormons and he said he told me that what I said wasn't true and then hug knew about Mormons and knew about the same things that I know about any hug stood up for me and said we'll yes what she is sa
[06:06:30] suze: ying is true and he just got all crazy that I knew more about it than he did when his ex-wife and daughter are both Mormons and I started saying all these different things that Mormons believe and he couldn't believe that he didn't know any of that and he just thought I was making this s*** up but I wasn't and it was true and then hit a chip on his
[06:06:30] suze: shoulder
[06:07:40] dj: ok, i understand more now
[06:08:06] dj: just try not to get upset and get your heart fucked up over it
[06:08:24] suze: He likes to say that he cheats me like he cheats everybody else but that is not true he does not make the comments and digs that he makes it me and I'm sure other people I'm sure that some people are aware of what has been going on but also some people wouldn't know because what he is saying may seem innocuous but I know that he is saying it to me
[06:08:24] suze: because he's making a comment a dig about something that I said to other people
[06:08:25] dj: i will be willling to do what you asked
[06:09:20] suze: But it's really important that Tigger be there also and honestly I have been so disappointed in Tigger because I came to him at least 10 times about these issues with dude and honestly I do not feel that he was fair with me I don't feel he treated me fairly
[06:09:56] dj: did he tell you to put him on ignore?
[06:10:16] dj: thats what he usually says
[06:10:58] suze: I have put him on ignore a number of times for instance I told you recently that there was a person in the room who was harassing me but dude said nothing he didn't boot that person he didn't kick that person. He didn't warn him but I think it was Kathy Kathy stood up for me and she told that guy you're being unbelievably rude and you know this and
[06:10:58] suze: that but he said not one word but the problem is is that even if I have a man ignore then I can still hear other people saying things in response to what he's saying
[06:11:46] suze: And of course his cohort is PL Finland. Finland and I do not speak it all
[06:13:43] dj: if you like i will talk to tigger and tell him that i just feel like its time to wrap this up, maybe he would listen to me and try to rsolve it, i can do that
[06:13:51] suze: And I could care less about PL Finland because he normally doesn't make remarks and comments about what I'm saying and he and I are on an equal playing field we are both just Chatters but dude is a moderator and so as far as I'm concerned he is doing a great disrespect to that title of moderator
[06:13:59] dj: only if you want me to?
[06:14:16] suze: No I want this to happen I want the four of us to go in a room and talk together
[06:15:03] dj: ok, just tell them to let me know whend where and i will come
[06:15:35] suze: I mean honestly I would just be happy if he stopped talking to me and stop making comments about things that I say that is all I really really want just that one thing leave me alone and I've done everything I can to make that happen but he will not stop and I had sent it to him and I will say it again and again and again what he has been doing to
[06:15:35] suze: me is bullying and harassment
[06:16:13] suze: Ok
[06:17:12] suze: Okay my throat is really sore from talking so much and from being emotional so I'm going to leave right now if you run into Tigger first would you please relay this message to him
[06:17:56] dj: i will get a nice cool water and relax, i will tell him
[06:18:09] suze: Thx
[06:18:12] suze left the query by disconnecting from IRC

please continue...

[TiGgEr]

continued...

Please note, the question she refers to that dude kept asking her about happened before any of the accusations, she had received nerve ablations to relieve back pain, and from what I understand may not show immediate signs of relief, I remember these questions were asked over the period of a week or so and he was asking to see if there was any progression.

After bringing this conversation to my attention, and as dj suggested, we all thought it was definitely time to have a conversation and try to solve this, not wanting to waste time, I e-mailed suze to arrange a rough time where we could all meet up in one of the other rooms like #attic and just finally try to resolve this. All four of us!
It never happened, she came in a short while before the arranged time trying to get hold of me and then the following occurred.

Here is a copy of that conversation

Feb 23rd 2018

[22:27:] <suze1> Tigger I totally have to talk to you right now
[22:28:] <suze1> I was just reading over the emails that we have correspond did over this. Of time regarding dude and I was reading the log from that day that I told you that he had called me a c*** that he had said one word blah blah blah blah blah well I see that you did send it to me and that it was exactly as I had said to you
[22:29:] <suze1> All of this time I misunderstood you I thought that you were saying to me that you never found it what it is clearly right there he said staff you can't he said that all one word I know he is saying that he was saying it to his computer or whatever but I'm telling you I interpreted that it's him saying that to me because what he said previous to sa
[22:29:] <suze1> ying that was things he was saying to me about that Scientology thing because he was so f****** upset when I and you were there so you know this conversation we were having a conversation and I said something about Mormons and he got his panties all up in a bunch because I knew something about Mormons that he did not know he didn't believe me he th
[22:29:] <suze1> ought I was making it up and when I OG confirm that what I was saying was true he got his panties all up in a bunch
[22:32:] <suze1> Oh my God I should have read that slower when I originally read it I was just so upset at the time for him to call me that name that when you sent me that love I did not read it correctly I did not realize that that is exactly what I was talking about that is exactly the passage I was referring to Daniel Stauffer did not go wrong and I'm sorry that
[22:32:] <suze1> I said that I just could not understand why it could not be found when I so clearly knew that he had said that oh my God I feel so Vindicated I cannot tell you
[23:14:] * suze has quit (Quit: Disabilities-R-Us Web Chat)
[23:15:] <TiGgEr> back
[23:16:] <TiGgEr> so a couple of points
[23:16:] <TiGgEr> I already addressed the context of that particular log underneath, everything has already been said
[23:16:] <suze> Ok
[23:16:] <TiGgEr> also, in the very next day's e-mail when I show you every single instance of anybody using the word
[23:16:] <TiGgEr> you pretty much agree that that's not the instance
[23:17:] <suze> Yes I know I said that but I'm telling you that when I read it right now I see that that is and the reason I know why is because he had made that comment about scientology right before it happened and I had not noticed that when you had showed me the log
[23:18:] <suze> But here's my point my point is is that he was so upset about that conversation that took place about Mormonism that he then brought up so I would have we going to talk about now Scientology and then when I didn't respond he got mad and so he started digging at me
[23:18:] <TiGgEr> So you leave, you come back, you don't say anything towards him, he stressed with his keyboard, but that comment is aimed at you?
[23:18:] <TiGgEr> Like I said in the comments underneath the log in the e-mail, it's not at you, to suggest otherwise is a stretch
[23:19:] <TiGgEr> we have already been through this
[23:19:] <suze> I felt it was because the other comments he was making were toward me if you can't see that him being upside Scientology was a dig at me then I don't know what to say to you take her you're not getting it
[23:20:] <suze> Tigger with all due respect if you cannot see from a conversation that him bringing up something that I have said in the room not to him never to him because I never ever talk to him I have no conversations with him if you cannot see that him bringing up something very specific that I have said if you cannot see that that is a dig at me then I am a
[23:20:] <suze> t a loss for words then you are not understanding this
[23:21:] <TiGgEr> The very next day, even after showing you the log, talking about the keyboard, you respond with the following
[23:21:] <TiGgEr> I don't know what to say...I remember this vividly and completely. Don't know what to do with this info.
[23:22:] <suze> Yes I know that I said that Tigger there's no reason to keep going over this over and over my point is I just reread the log and I can see now that that is exactly the log I was talking about
[23:23:] <TiGgEr> ok, it's the log you are talking about, but you are the only one taking it on the context of it was directed at you
[23:23:] <TiGgEr> nobody else in the room at the time took it this way
[23:23:] <TiGgEr> Astro, iog, they would have called him out
[23:23:] <suze> I thought for certain that the exact word he had said was you are a see you in tea but spelled this way URACUNT so when you sent me that log and he did not say that exactly I thought it must be wrong it must be somewhere else you're not finding it
[23:23:] <TiGgEr> I know you do not trust Finland, even though he was there,
[23:24:] <TiGgEr> It's not anywhere else
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> Daniel looked, I looked, dj looked
[23:25:] <suze> Tigger I'm really getting frustrated with you because it feels like you're deflecting from what I'm saying so I'm saying to you look this is my explanation as to why I thought you had the wrong package log and giving you very very specific about why I got that wrong and still you are saying something else that has nothing to do with what I just sai
[23:25:] <suze> d
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.02Feb2018:[11:02:06] <Tryingtocope> She sounds like a real cunt
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.03Apr2018:[04:34:41] <Maddie> Have a good day... stupid cunt. Lol
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.04Mar2018:[23:56:41] <nashcast> Fuck Shit Cunt Bitch Cock Whore.
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.06Feb2018:[20:00:16] <jeff> i not too fond of that type of cuntry
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.12Feb2018:[16:13:19] <Paul> fuck you all fuck cunt rude selfish ignorant fuckes
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.12Feb2018:[16:17:11] <Paul> thank you aura you biggest cunt fuck i hate all of you for inaction and lie and p
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> retense what a waste for me to peruse pig fuck shiit dogs. Liars of the most filthy!
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.12Feb2018:[16:50:41] <Paul> cunt fucj shit
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.13Mar2018:[05:27:15] <dude> stfuycunt
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> disabled.log.21Apr2018:[03:15:53] <suze> I have nothing to say to you, you called me a cunt
[23:25:] <TiGgEr> That was everything for all of the previous months
[23:25:] <suze> Tigger could you please stop for 1 minute and listen to me
[23:26:] <TiGgEr> ok, break it down into smaller chunks
[23:27:] <suze> I don't know if you're not reading what I'm saying correctly or if this is not coming out correctly what I the way that I am staying at listen to me very carefully I discovered today in Reading over the email exchanges that you and I have had that the log you presented me with was exactly the log I had been talking about before why is this importan
[23:27:] <suze> t because all of this time I thought there was something seriously wrong with Daniel Software System and his ability to find something if a problem were to arise number one that is the first thing that I thought I thought oh my God I feel really bad that I thought less of not Daniel butt of his Software System secondly it's important because that i
[23:27:] <suze> ncident shows you how he is beating me whether he said that to me or to the computer or whatnot that is not even important at this point what is important is that he a moderator for this room is digging at me he is trying to embarrass me he's trying to humiliate me he's bullying me
[23:28:] <suze> Sorry I didn't say I didn't see that you wanted me to break it down into smaller chunks
[23:29:] <suze> And how is he blowing me how is he trying to humiliate Me by making statements about things that I said and conversations we had previously so here we had this discussion about Mormonism and he was embarrassed because I knew all of these things about Mormonism that he didn't know he a man who is married to a woman who is a Mormon and has a daughter
[23:29:] <suze> who is a Mormon
[23:30:] <suze> so I come in the room and he's like so what are we going to talk about today Scientology? That was a direct dig at me for that Mormon conversation the day before he says that I don't respond then go and look at his next response his next response is directed at me once again I don't say anything he continues that is a pattern of behavior that has b
[23:30:] <suze> een happening ever since that day and that is my objection and that is why I don't like him and that is how he is bullying me and that is how he is harassing me
[23:31:] <TiGgEr> This conversation should have happened in front of other people, because now he is not here to defend himself
[23:32:] <suze> I think it may be more important for you to understand from me directly just between you and I exactly where I'm coming for from what my objection to harness and what he has done to me before we ever have a conversation altogether
[23:32:] <suze> I have discussed this with DJ he knows what these instances are that have been so upsetting to me about dude
[23:33:] <suze> Let me break it down for you a bit the first thing that ever got me upset about dude and this really really really was the start of the whole thing was when he kept asking me that same question over and over and over
[23:34:] <TiGgEr> I have tried looking at many of these instances, what I see as five people having a conversation, you are involved in the conversation, and he tries to join in, and you get upset? If 5 people are having a conversation about the weather he is supposed to remain out of the conversation just because you're in it?
[23:34:] <suze> And I know the excuse was that he was foggy brain because he didn't have his pain medication etcetera Etc up butt I don't believe that I believe that it was intentional that if he really had a foggy brain it would have been so apparent that there would have been other instances with other Cheddar's in the room were things like this would there woul
[23:34:] <suze> d have been other misunderstandings that would have taken place so why did that only happen with me that for days and days and days he kept asking me the same question over and over why did he not ask anybody else the same question over and over
[23:35:] <TiGgEr> Yes, the question, the one he kept repeating, when he was off his medication and going pain management at the time and it completely failed,
[23:35:] <suze> But that really isn't how it is so the other day I was talking about my going to this Penn and Teller event and so the next day he brings up the Penn and Teller event he's brought it up several times so are you telling me that him bringing up this Penn and Teller had nothing to do with me bringing it up the day before is that what you really believ
[23:35:] <suze> e?
[23:37:] <TiGgEr> ok, remember when you asked me to try to say anything to you any more, and I told you he was still going to be polite and say hello etc, as a moderator he is also an ambassador for the moment it looked bad if he starts ignoring people
[23:38:] <TiGgEr> when you asked me to tell him not to say anything*
[23:38:] <suze> I don't care if he says hello to me what I don't appreciate is his making comments about things that I say and have said I am not talking to him he should not be making comments to me and making judgments about things that I have
[23:39:] <suze> It makes me look bad but he says things to me and I never respond to him does that not make it look worse for me and make him look like he's a good guy trying to have a conversation with me but I won't respond to him?
[23:39:] <TiGgEr> but you kept on complaining about that, about him saying hello, so I was like "fuck it" we cannot win, and told him to forget it, I shouldn't have a moderator on a leash, especially one who has already tried to bury the hatchet, and is getting complaints about him just because he said hello
[23:40:] <TiGgEr> there was no winning, so we didn't even try... it got too silly
[23:40:] <suze> Wow Tigger I am so shocked to hear this honestly I feel like you let me down you you let me down because you never told me that and so I was under the impression that every time that I was asking you to talk to him to get him to stop doing this to me that you were relating that message to him and apparently you weren't thanks so much
[23:40:] <TiGgEr> you have every single right to ignore whoever you want, I mean come on, you say it enough to the people you are ignoring
[23:41:] <TiGgEr> but now you're worried that it makes you look bad with him?
[23:41:] <suze> Z Tigger this is different because he's a moderator that's what makes it different I do not like Piel Finland and he does not like me and we never ever say a word to each other and I could care less what he says or does because he is just another chatter he is an equal footing as me he is not a moderator he is not over me he does not have authority
[23:41:] <suze> over me
[23:41:] <TiGgEr> When you tell nightmare the other day you are putting him on ignore when he was posting song lyrics, you were not worried (and I did see that he overreacted, you did say it politely) but you weren't worried
[23:42:] <suze> I think it makes me look bad to the other Chatters in the room do you think I give a s*** what he thinks about anything what are you not getting why aren't you understanding this Digger this should be so apparent to you I think that I am saying this very clearly I do I have to spell every single thing out I just I don't understand why you're not un
[23:42:] <suze> derstanding
[23:43:] <suze> wow okay I can see that we cannot resolve this situation not as long as you are running this room because you are not opening you are not open to hearing my point of view you are not open to changing your mind and seeing things in a different light
[23:43:] * suze has quit (Quit: Disabilities-R-Us Web Chat)

please continue...

[TiGgEr]

continued...

Now, a couple of points, you remember in the beginning of this very long post I shared with her the instance she is now referring to, that she responded and said this was not the instance, it was not even the spelling, I was to search for a different variation of the spelling but now all of a sudden this is the instance because she read it more slowly? (I said you would have to remember for later)
She is now referring to the previous conversation they had been having about Mormonism where they had a disagreement and this as justification for him calling her the word, the conversation happened either earlier that day or the night before, she had left the room for a while, and comes back in and he says this to her without any other context as the log clearly shows?
Remember how she stated "vividly and completely" another time it was said but now she thinks this is the instance?

She insists that I look at things from the perspective which I tried but found impossible considering all given information, and now she was changing her story and refuses to try and see this from any other perspective but her own despite having clear evidence black and white in front of her!
I admit, I got frustrated, 10 months since it began, my patience was thin.

I did not come to the decision to remove her straight away, everybody was upset, it was the wrong time to make decisions, I spoke with dj and dude shortly afterwards when they came into the room expecting to have a conversation as planned, I shared with them what had happened, and we were all a little shocked, and unsure what to do, I decided to sleep on it but something about that last paragraph kept resonating inside my head, this one

[23:43:] <suze> wow okay I can see that we cannot resolve this situation not as long as you are running this room because you are not opening you are not open to hearing my point of view you are not open to changing your mind and seeing things in a different light

I awoke still thinking about this last paragraph, especially the highlighted part and felt that we had tried every possible avenue to resolve this issue, to keep the peace, to try and make her happy despite no evidence for her accusation, 10 months worth of drama, patience, trying and we got nowhere. I felt that some extended time away from the room for suze was the only thing that could happen as a result, what else was there to be done?

Now if you made it this far, I do apologise for it being so long, there was just so much to cover, I think I got all of it, I always disliked removing long-term members and hopefully you can now see why I felt I had to do it, I'm sure with time we can see her return, but it will take a while.

As per usual, any questions or comments, please leave them below and I will gladly answer them.
Tigger

[Coll]

I think all of you were extremely patient with suze. She really got a bee stuck in her bonnet.
Thanks for letting us know.

[Hugs2771]

You did the right thing with Suse!
I was in leadership, on another sight.
I was in charge of the chatrooms.
I did my fair share of reporting and getting ride of the bad apples.
It is not an easy task to do, but it must be done, in order to keep the site safe and supportive for all.