If you registered on or before August 25, 2017, you will need to reset your password. Your password reset confirmation will be emailed to you. If you do not receive it, please check your junk folder. Be sure to add [email protected] to your contact list so you do not miss out on important forum related emails. Disabilities-R-Us will never send you any unsolicited emails.


Looking for love or just new friends? This is the place to meet them and greet them.
Post Reply
Cactus Jack
Posts: 26
Joined: 4 years ago


Post by Cactus Jack » 3 years ago

I am astonished by how people react to me because of my impairments and experience.
case in point- college.  I have returned to college.  And with me being 45, it's not hard, but it sure is tough.

You see, years back I used to be a major horn-dog.  If it moved I...we...you get the idea.  Always legal, always consensual, always of legal age, blah blah blah.  So I learned certain flags women give off if they're "fair game".

So here I am at college.  And I meet the hot young women on the soccer team.  And...about 1/3 off the team gives off these "flags".  Cool!  Except...I'm not looking for that.  I just want a platonic relationship.  <beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!>  Big problem.

They don't.

When I see these flags, I distance myself from them.  Good god!  I'm old enough to be their daddy!  I know for a fact if I was their age I'd be on them like flies on shit.  But I'm not and I don't.  I distance myself from them so nothing DOES happen.

I have been criticised over this because I'm direct about it.  I have been told by other guys that I'm seeing things wrong.  They girls really don't want to f*.

So I'm like "Ok.  No problem.  Because I don't want to either!"  I just want friends.  Platonic friends.
And they don't.

God does that hurt so much inside.  I want so much to cry.  I have Traumatic Brain Injury and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  And because of the first I can't cry as much as the last wants.

And people just don't understand.
“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” -Ross Perot

Posts: 1
Joined: 3 years ago

Post by Riya » 3 years ago

Yes, I can understand your pain. Do you have friends who also have disabilities or impairments? Sometimes people do not want to be rude but they don't know how to react.  I suppose if a person do not have direct experiences he/she will not be able to empathize. You seem to be doing really good so take your time and do not rush in to a relationship unless you are absolutely sure about this.

Posts: 28
Joined: 4 years ago
Location: Delaware USA

Post by Eino » 3 years ago

I'm in the same boat as you. I have not cried, or laughed out loud in years, but the feeling are still inside, and it hurts a lot. 
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it. "
John Lennon

Posts: 8
Joined: 4 years ago

Post by Kay » 3 years ago

Eino I cannot say i understand your disability but i can relate it to 'gunny sacking' where people do not see my feelings only i do and yes it is painful.sometimes it is better they do not see my feelings as it would only hurt them. please keep in touch- karen

Post Reply