Disabilities-R-Us

My roommate and I recently went out to a local restaurant to have a Friday evening meal. We arrived at the restaurant in the early part of the dinner rush, around 5 pm. We were seated for a few minutes when a couple of gentlemen arrived and were seated. A couple minutes later, their "clients/patients" arrived. One was severely verbally impaired, while the other was severely physically and cognitively challenged in a wheelchair. They proceeded to try to order with and for the two disabled parties. They talked to these disabled parties as if they were non-disabled, having no regard for the non disabled guests of the restaurant, talking very loudly while the two disabled individuals made lots of unpleasant coughing, mucous sounding noises. My question for this situation is this: should the two non disabled persons have taken these two severely disabled persons to a public restaurant in the middle of busy dinner hour; if so, should they have requested more private seating where they could have enjoyed their meals without disturbing the dining experiences of the other guests?  I don't mean to sound insensitive, as I am a learning disabled teacher myself, but my dining partner and I had to ask to move to another part of the restaurant because the atmosphere was so physically and verbally disturbing. What would you suggest would have been a better alternative for us as guests or the disabled parties and their aides?

Thanks for posting this farquardt.

This is a very tricky one and I can see things from both sides, firstly the restaurant does needs to think about other diners but I really do think it goes beyond that.

My main concern would have been for the dignity of the disabled people, the carers should have considered their feelings before choosing the restaurant or even where to seat them!

The carers job goes beyond caring, transport and assisting to the disabled persons needs, they should be considering their clients dignity and personal feelings and not putting them in situations where they feel undignified.

The carers were 100% at fault! Disabled people do have feeling, something these carers obviously did not consider!

I agree with UKRobin, there is more than one way to think about this.

It's hard to say who is at fault, if anyone is.  It sounds like everyone in that part of the restaurant was put in an uncomfortable position, those with and without disabilities.

As for the individuals that did not have disabilities, were they caretakers, or family, or friends?

Maybe it was the only opportunity for the individuals with disabilities to have a chance to meet up with the individuals without disabilities.  Maybe it was the only time in the last month or two they were able to get out and it would be another month before they would have a chance.
Maybe.
I just wanted to throw those ideas out there.

Whether you are a friend, a family member, or caretaker, thought should be given to dignity and consideration not only for the individuals with disabilities but for everyone in the restaurant.

Let's not let the individuals with disabilities completely off the hook either (the ones that have good cognition).  Some individuals with disabilities can be very inconsiderate.  Everybody get out of my way I have a disability.  I'm entitled! 

So the answer to your questions is YES.  If it was possible all four of the individuals should have set up a time to come to the restaurant when it was not crowded or to make some sort of arrangement with the restaurant to make it a more pleasant experience for everyone, they should have.  If the individuals with disabilities did not have enough cognition to make this choice, then the responsibility falls to the other individuals without disabilities. In my opinion, you were justified in being disturbed.

I have a disability and I try to put thought and consideration into my actions.  Sometimes you can't, sometimes you just have to go do things as the opportunity presents itself.

There are many more facets of this encounter. Like the individuals  without disabilities talking loudly and  being rude.  Maybe they are just rude people and are like that whether they are with individuals with disabilities were not.  Maybe.

You also said, "They talked to these disabled parties as if they were non-disabled".  I'm not exactly sure what that means.

Are you a teacher that has a learning disability, or do you teach individuals with learning disabilities? Either way, I admire anyone that is a teacher.  Keep up the good work.

I feel insulted by what the original poster said. Why can't someone who is disabled eat in a restaurant during the busy lunch hour? Should there be a different section for the disabled? Should a disabled person not be allowed to go a restaurant? I'm sorry that these two disabled people disgusted you and made your meal a terrible experience but perhaps next time, maybe you should consider going to a restaurant when there are less people there who may or may not offend you.

I agree with Caroline ... I am a man with a birth deformity ... just last year I was in a restaurant where people asked to move because they didn't like the way I fed myself ... I could not believe that in enlightened Canada I was still facing this attitude ... at 53 young years at the time, I felt bruised like a teenager again. I do have to say that the server was fantastic ... the people were moved right out of the restaurant. I am not sure that any of them realized I knew what was going on ...