Help And Self Moderation
Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 1:25 am
Too many cooks…
so today I want to address something which might seem a little odd to people, it’s about helping, although it would be more accurate to say it’s about not helping, or knowing when not to help and when to help and how when everybody is shouting out help at the same time we actually accomplish the opposite and I will explain with a couple of examples
First example.
just the other day somebody came in asking for advice regarding American Social Security Income or SSI and returning back to part-time work, and everybody voiced an opinion, the person looking for help got frustrated, one person who actually had first-hand experience on the topic tried to get the persons attention, to focus on them but they misunderstood her intent, and accused her of being unhelpful when she was the only one with real hands-on advice/information to offer.
The person looking for help/advice ended up leaving rather frustrated, the person offering to help was also left frustrated…
2nd
Another recent situation involved a moderator trying to do with their function in a similar situation that occurred, a minor was in the room, and everybody chimed in on that it was against the rules, they shouldn’t be here, where they should go, instead of leaving it to the moderator, these moments are particularly frustrating because it stops a moderator from actually being effective/functional!
3rd
The last example I want to give is regarding medical advice, we do not claim to be experts, but many of us do have first-hand experience, and when someone comes in asking, it is very common for everybody to start shouting out at the same time, it doesn’t work, help becomes noise, the wrong advice is offered, people get misinformed or become confused, people end up leaving in no better position or worse off when they arrived… which again I’m sure very frustrating for those people, and for anybody with actual real knowledgeable advice to give!
All of these situations are quite frequent and very frustrating so I’m going to suggest some “unofficial guidelines” regarding help, let’s call it “self moderation” if you will, and they are as follows
first and most important
1. Let a moderator serve their purpose! If you are not a moderator please do not attempt to be one, you actually make it harder for the moderator present! If a moderator is trying to deal with a particular issue, let them deal with it, either continue with your conversation or keep quiet for a moment and let them deal with it!
This I cannot emphasise enough… it’s hard enough dealing with a problem without having to deal with several other people all chiming in at the same time, either saying something wrong, insulting or quoting rules which do not even exist!
2. Self moderate, when it comes to your giving help or advice note to self moderate!
Ask yourself the following question, “do I actually know about this topic?”
Follow that question with a “how confident am I with that knowledge?” Is there somebody else present more knowledgeable than you already present and offering advice?!
If you find yourself needing to go to Google and somebody is already offering help because they have first-hand experience, consider letting them and only them offer the help because it may be more effective!
You will actually help more by keeping quiet, the only time this doesn’t really count is if you see somebody giving the wrong information or leaving something out and you can add to it!
Now this might be a complicated concept for some, so I will give another example,
If somebody were to come in with a mechanical question and you know nothing about mechanics, you would have to Google the question to find an answer?
If somebody else in the room actually has mechanical experience, it would be best for everybody to let them give the advice, after all the person asking the question is just as capable of using Google as you are and has probably already tried.
Remember, if you can use Google so can they!i
f there are no mechanics present sometimes the best answer you can give is “I don’t know” and there is nothing wrong with that, we are not all geniuses that know everything, we all have different interests and knowledge in those different interests and they vary from one person to another.
I might be very good at answering computer questions, but to go along with this example, I know very little about car engines and mechanics, so it would be better for me to be quiet and let somebody else answer!
3. And this one is quite important, Remember that you share an international room! Our members are from all over the world, don’t assume what is true in your country is true in another, terminology changes, even definition in the case of job titles, laws, words themselves, and speech patterns, again very recently I saw two people over the abilities of a particular profession, they were both in different countries, and the problem was the job requirements and therefore definition changed from one country to the other, both people were right to their particular country, but to argue that the other is wrong going by your country’s standard, is often futile because as weird as it might seem to you, those things do change!
I remember years ago everybody jumped on a guy from the UK that came in looking for a “mate” they thought he meant a “sexual partner” but the word “mate” In the UK is commonly used as friend, the person was only looking for a friend and was attacked, do you see the problem?
Another instance I remember two people arguing about the protocols regarding seeing eye dog’s, arguing that the other one was wrong because they did it differently, but neither were wrong, both were following the guidelines laid down by their relevant teachers and associations and both were correct, they were just different!
Even your Google results can be different from one country to another because it tries to take your location into account, and this you can experiment with, Google the words “pizza restaurant” and you will most likely view in your results pizzerias in and around your area, if you’re living in Spain for example how would this serve somebody living in France?
Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean everything is the same, question the difference don't argue it, and if you still feel the need to argue the point, make sure the point and the information is relative to that country of the person you are having a discussion with!
Never Assume!
So hopefully you understand what I’m trying to express here, it’s not about not helping , but knowing when “I don’t know” , letting somebody else talk, and trying not to give “erroneous” information is actually more helpful than guessing or butting in or posting the first link you find on Google!
It’s about thinking before speaking I guess…
That and letting the moderators do their job!
One final note I might add, just because you do not see a moderator doing anything instantaneously, doesn’t mean they might not be working on an issue, we have a couple of tools available where we might be checking on something, cross-referencing, consulting with each other even before taking action, we will get to the problem as quickly as possible but this is where you really help and it goes with all of the above…
DON’T make things worse or harder by engaging/arguing/confronting anybody that needs removing, just leave it for the moderator to remove, if you need to give a moderator a tap on the shoulder because they are distracted, do so, if you need to place somebody on ignore, do so, but please please do not add to the drama creating chaos by engaging in what is often equally bad behaviour!
Thank You
Comments and Input Welcome Below...
so today I want to address something which might seem a little odd to people, it’s about helping, although it would be more accurate to say it’s about not helping, or knowing when not to help and when to help and how when everybody is shouting out help at the same time we actually accomplish the opposite and I will explain with a couple of examples
First example.
just the other day somebody came in asking for advice regarding American Social Security Income or SSI and returning back to part-time work, and everybody voiced an opinion, the person looking for help got frustrated, one person who actually had first-hand experience on the topic tried to get the persons attention, to focus on them but they misunderstood her intent, and accused her of being unhelpful when she was the only one with real hands-on advice/information to offer.
The person looking for help/advice ended up leaving rather frustrated, the person offering to help was also left frustrated…
2nd
Another recent situation involved a moderator trying to do with their function in a similar situation that occurred, a minor was in the room, and everybody chimed in on that it was against the rules, they shouldn’t be here, where they should go, instead of leaving it to the moderator, these moments are particularly frustrating because it stops a moderator from actually being effective/functional!
3rd
The last example I want to give is regarding medical advice, we do not claim to be experts, but many of us do have first-hand experience, and when someone comes in asking, it is very common for everybody to start shouting out at the same time, it doesn’t work, help becomes noise, the wrong advice is offered, people get misinformed or become confused, people end up leaving in no better position or worse off when they arrived… which again I’m sure very frustrating for those people, and for anybody with actual real knowledgeable advice to give!
All of these situations are quite frequent and very frustrating so I’m going to suggest some “unofficial guidelines” regarding help, let’s call it “self moderation” if you will, and they are as follows
first and most important
1. Let a moderator serve their purpose! If you are not a moderator please do not attempt to be one, you actually make it harder for the moderator present! If a moderator is trying to deal with a particular issue, let them deal with it, either continue with your conversation or keep quiet for a moment and let them deal with it!
This I cannot emphasise enough… it’s hard enough dealing with a problem without having to deal with several other people all chiming in at the same time, either saying something wrong, insulting or quoting rules which do not even exist!
2. Self moderate, when it comes to your giving help or advice note to self moderate!
Ask yourself the following question, “do I actually know about this topic?”
Follow that question with a “how confident am I with that knowledge?” Is there somebody else present more knowledgeable than you already present and offering advice?!
If you find yourself needing to go to Google and somebody is already offering help because they have first-hand experience, consider letting them and only them offer the help because it may be more effective!
You will actually help more by keeping quiet, the only time this doesn’t really count is if you see somebody giving the wrong information or leaving something out and you can add to it!
Now this might be a complicated concept for some, so I will give another example,
If somebody were to come in with a mechanical question and you know nothing about mechanics, you would have to Google the question to find an answer?
If somebody else in the room actually has mechanical experience, it would be best for everybody to let them give the advice, after all the person asking the question is just as capable of using Google as you are and has probably already tried.
Remember, if you can use Google so can they!i
f there are no mechanics present sometimes the best answer you can give is “I don’t know” and there is nothing wrong with that, we are not all geniuses that know everything, we all have different interests and knowledge in those different interests and they vary from one person to another.
I might be very good at answering computer questions, but to go along with this example, I know very little about car engines and mechanics, so it would be better for me to be quiet and let somebody else answer!
3. And this one is quite important, Remember that you share an international room! Our members are from all over the world, don’t assume what is true in your country is true in another, terminology changes, even definition in the case of job titles, laws, words themselves, and speech patterns, again very recently I saw two people over the abilities of a particular profession, they were both in different countries, and the problem was the job requirements and therefore definition changed from one country to the other, both people were right to their particular country, but to argue that the other is wrong going by your country’s standard, is often futile because as weird as it might seem to you, those things do change!
I remember years ago everybody jumped on a guy from the UK that came in looking for a “mate” they thought he meant a “sexual partner” but the word “mate” In the UK is commonly used as friend, the person was only looking for a friend and was attacked, do you see the problem?
Another instance I remember two people arguing about the protocols regarding seeing eye dog’s, arguing that the other one was wrong because they did it differently, but neither were wrong, both were following the guidelines laid down by their relevant teachers and associations and both were correct, they were just different!
Even your Google results can be different from one country to another because it tries to take your location into account, and this you can experiment with, Google the words “pizza restaurant” and you will most likely view in your results pizzerias in and around your area, if you’re living in Spain for example how would this serve somebody living in France?
Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean everything is the same, question the difference don't argue it, and if you still feel the need to argue the point, make sure the point and the information is relative to that country of the person you are having a discussion with!
Never Assume!
So hopefully you understand what I’m trying to express here, it’s not about not helping , but knowing when “I don’t know” , letting somebody else talk, and trying not to give “erroneous” information is actually more helpful than guessing or butting in or posting the first link you find on Google!
It’s about thinking before speaking I guess…
That and letting the moderators do their job!
One final note I might add, just because you do not see a moderator doing anything instantaneously, doesn’t mean they might not be working on an issue, we have a couple of tools available where we might be checking on something, cross-referencing, consulting with each other even before taking action, we will get to the problem as quickly as possible but this is where you really help and it goes with all of the above…
DON’T make things worse or harder by engaging/arguing/confronting anybody that needs removing, just leave it for the moderator to remove, if you need to give a moderator a tap on the shoulder because they are distracted, do so, if you need to place somebody on ignore, do so, but please please do not add to the drama creating chaos by engaging in what is often equally bad behaviour!
Thank You
Comments and Input Welcome Below...