To the Susan Haters

[TiGgEr]

To the Susan haters...

This is such a ridiculous thing to have to address, but I feel I must, it's got to the point of this being so stupid I feel a need to break down and point it out...

So a little context for those people who do not know what I'm talking about, we have a chat member named a boynamedsue (Susan), she has spastic diplegia cerebral palsy, had hydrocephalus as a child and is what we would politely call learning-disabled and she lives semi-independently with the help of caregivers in Scotland. She tries to be a bit of an advocate when possible and has several varied interests which she likes to talk about in the room with others (all information provided with content).

Now the problem is there is a certain group of people in the chat that do not like Susan, and this is okay in this sense that it would be unreasonable for us to expect everybody to like each other in such a diverse group but now let's get to the reasons why and break this down to where it is relevant because it spans a couple of years and more than one thing.

This animosity started a few years ago when the UK was pretty much revising all of its disabled citizens to see if any of them could go back to work and try and relieve the economic struggles the country was having at the time, we had several chat room members who thought that they were much more capable than the doctors, social workers and other designated qualified people assigned by the UK/Scottish government's to assess Susan and they decided amongst themselves that she was a mooch and was perfectly able of generating an income of some kind through work for herself rather than being on benefits, and they were very open about their opinions and did not hide them from Susan and it went on and on as the process took several months and they were quite repetitive about it bringing it up on almost any given opportunity.

It was around this time that other negative things started to happen towards Susan, small little things which seemed like a joke at first, like commenting on how many times she had brought up specific subjects, things she was going through or interested in at the time, comments on when she tried to be helpful and shared a link but maybe not quite got it right with the information she was sharing, they were said in a kind of light-hearted exasperation, and overtime this light-hearted exasperation was lost and evolved into what I can only describe as total animosity and quite possibly hatred, but let's look at this and a bit closer.

She is being hated for trying to be helpful?
She is being hated for repeating herself?
She is being hated because unqualified people think she is capable of working?

So regarding being helpful, my personal stance on this is there is absolutely no guarantee that any link that anybody provides in the chat room is exactly what the person asking for help is looking for, we make our best educated guesses, but we are not professionals, we do not claim to be professionals, therefore we are not held to that standard and neither should Susan, it is up to the person asking for help to review the information provided and select what is applicable discarding the non-applicable themselves, this is their responsibility, so if somebody provides a mistakenly unhelpful link, it's not on that person, they tried their best, they tried to be helpful, we do not condemn them, we do not punish them, we do not forbid them from posting any more links in the future which is what has been asked of me to impose on Susan.

If I was to ban one person from providing helpful links, I would have to ban everybody, because there is no guarantee that every link by every member is always 100% accurate, pretty simple right? But I am asked to single her out, and she is heavily criticised for her efforts.

Regarding the work thing, I'm not even going to touch that one it's so ridiculous, just think about it a moment, couple of chat room members without seeing the person in question or any medical records thinking they are more qualified than the trained professionals hired for the job? Give me a break!

But now let's get to this repetitive issue, I feel this is the most recent and relevant.

The chat room is an international chat room with I'm guessing anywhere between 30 and 60 different people logging on every single day, multiple times a day, from different time zones. This leads to totally different groups of people throughout the different times of day, the people you may see in the morning are not the people you see in the afternoon and usually not the people you see in the evening or the people you see at night, but because of the different time zones and different times people looking to chat you don't get to see everybody at once, and this naturally leads to repetitiveness by pretty much all people, not just Susan!

So let's say you log in in the morning you see some people who ask how you have been and you tell them about your latest doctors appointment or how well your sports team did the night before or whatever you guys talk about, and then the conversation continues, changes, you may take a break from the chat, go have lunch and come back after which is when you may see different people who may ask you the exact same question, or maybe you see someone who shares a similar interest or follows a similar sporting event on which you may have commented on previously that morning to other people, but not with this person.

Should you be silenced because you already spoke about it that morning? Apparently Susan should be, people don't like her repeating herself to the different people she sees throughout the day, sound reasonable right? I mean she's the only person doing it right? (Sarcasm)

The crazy part to me is that the people doing the complaining, are very repetitive themselves, they keep talking about that particular hobby they have, then deadbeat child, pet, health issue, and when something happens they will bring up those things over the course of the day of the week and repeat themselves naturally, but that's okay, it's okay for them, but not for Susan?

The bitching and moaning has got so bad, it now outweighs anything that Susan says, today I witnessed Susan comment on the Olympics, how dare she right? It's only a global event, but her comments consisted of 2 lines and that was it, it was directed toward somebody who showed interest. The bitching and moaning that followed lasted 6 lines!

Now think about that a moment, your bitching and moaning about the problem is 3 times greater than the problem, and the comments consist of things like "but if I complain it will only be ignored"

I'm sorry, again, it's only a global event, but am I supposed to censor everybody from talking about the Olympics or only Susan? And where does it end, what if Susan talks about Halloween, should I ban everybody from speaking about Halloween? How about Christmas? Doctors visits? Disabilities? Don't you realise when you ask me to censor somebody that censorship has to apply to everybody including yourselves? That's how it works!

Can you even imagine the cluster duck of information the admin and the moderators would have to keep track of you remember who has been individually censored and for which reason? Or do you just see it very simple because it's just Susan, she is the problem?

Another of the negative comments was "and how she puts down those countries that have fewer medals" again I'm sorry, but have you never been exposed to a sporting event before? Have you never seen 2 people argue over American Football, soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey?

One team always criticises the other and runs them down, supporters/followers do the exact same thing, it's the nature of it, it's what people do when they follow sports, they root for their favourite and they criticise the rest (usually with many varied and colourful metaphors and euphemisms) you do it with yourselves with the things that you favour, but that's okay isn't it? It's only Susan that isn't allowed, only Susan has to be censored?

Now you would think there would be a solution to all of this, something we could do, an action we could perform that could satisfy everybody without removing anybody from the room, because of course, we're all adults, we want a peaceful and easy solution that reduces the drama right?

But there is! And you refuse to do it, do you not realise how childish and petty you are by refusing to use the one tool that would solve all of your problems, that would stop you seeing the comments from Susan that irritate you, that would stop you from hearing any repetitive comments, that would stop you from bitching and moaning for several lines when Susan has only made a single line comment which she has every right to do just like you have every right to talk about the things you do, as frequently as you do, and post links like you do? But I wonder if you would?

Have you never thought for one moment that maybe other people are sick and tired of hearing you repeat yourself the way you do or do you really think that every single time you comment in the room it is something original never spoken before?

Do you realise how repetitive your bitching and moaning is? That it is upsetting other people who have absolutely no problem with Susan but are now developing a problem with you because your bitching and moaning is so unnecessarily negative and repetitive, do you not realise the irony of all of this? That you are bitching and moaning about somebody being repetitive is repetitive itself and sixfold what you think is the problem? Why do you not see this?

And all you have to do is right click a name and select ignore to make it go away... now isn't that ridiculous, ridiculous of us to expect you to do that? ridiculous that it's so simple? ridiculous that you expect me to censor or remove somebody over things you do yourselves? ridiculous that we have got to this point over something so ridiculous?

So let's review the situation real quick, condensed format
A past issue but, you thought yourselves more qualified than the paid professionals who interviewed and examined Susan or reviewed her medical records when you did not, and decided amongst yourselves she was fit for work and made a problem about it causing drama

You think Susan should be banned from sharing links on the chat room, but you want to be able to share them yourselves, and do

You do not want Susan to repeat herself, but it's okay for you to do?

You want Susan to be censored regarding topics you're not interested in, but you want the freedom to be able to talk about anything you want, and do

Susan makes a 1 or 2 line comment, between yourselves you make several 1 or 2 line comments

I ask Susan to use ignore, and she does, you do not...

So I ask you this please enough is enough, can we drop this ridiculous playground behaviour where you make yourselves look like spoilt little (insert word here) and remind yourselves that you are intelligent adults who without the difficulties of a learning disability should have enough understanding and self-control to avoid adding to the drama so much that you become the drama and use the fucking ignore button for once and for all without the snide and petty comments just because Susan made a fucking comment on the same subject twice in one day.

Get some perspective, do you not realise how this makes you look to the rest of the room moaning about such trivial things when people have very real and serious things to deal with?
Don't you think that the moderators have anything better to do than listen to "she said something I don't like, ban her"?

She puts you on ignore, leave her alone now, do the same or you will be looking for somewhere else to chat, seriously!

Enough already!

[Ragman]

Yep, Well Said

[dan85]

Well said, I'm in the same boat as Susan, hugs

[KC]

wow yes  why do people do suff like this   

[TiGgEr]

Even after this post, it is still happening, hence the reposting in the chat room, please do not act surprised if you find yourself removed from the chat without warning, I feel this post was sufficient warning, I have pleaded, I have asked nicely, do not take my patience for weakness, from now on people will be removed!

[lily]

That this nonsense is still going on boggles the mind. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but some people are so toxic that after just one encounter with them is more than enough. And since whomever has not stopped then I say go for the jugular and cut them off/out of this room. Maybe they can find some "I hate all of humanity/myself" room to vomit out that crap. There are some people in this world who enter a room and everyone there smiles. Then there are others that when they leave a room everyone smiles.

[Cactus Jack]

Hugs to ya, Susan.  Never had a problem with ya, and if we're ever fortunate enough to meet on line, I look for to a good chat!