Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Adults Disabled As Adults

Sep 30, 1998

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
  ChanServ ([email protected])
  Snow ([email protected])
  Lily ([email protected])
  HelloKit ([email protected])
samiam: thank you lin....I like you also
HelloKit: logging on
wat: try this one ok
samiam: okay
* HelloKit . o O ( Hopefully I'll remember to turn it
lin: r u married? sam
*** Mimi has joined #disabled
Annie: hi mimi
HelloKit: Hi Mimi :o)
samiam: yes I am lin
lin: hi, mimi
judi: What was the first question again Carly
samiam: you lin?
Lily: hi mimi
judi: Mimi!!!!!!!!!!
*** LordLinux has joined #disabled
Mimi: hi everyone :o)
samiam: hi mimi
Annie: hi LL
HelloKit: You mean in the message Judi? I have no idea... lol
wat: its gonna time out sam
judi: I meant to save it
samiam: welcome LL
LordLinux: hello
lin: r u disabled? sam. i am single, never married. polio
samiam: wat neither one connected
LordLinux: hmmmmmm
Lily: i have letter
* LordLinux is mad
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judi: what was the ? sis
Annie: why LL
Lily: hi suze:))
judi: hi suze
suze: Hi lily
samiam: no lin....lost a child but I am not
Mimi: - Have you made a statement that was based on a predisability
Mimi: life experience and had someone underestimate its validity
Mimi: because they can't get past their view of your current physical
Mimi: disability?
suze: hi judi
LordLinux: my AWE32 Sound Card aint working right
samiam: awww LL sorry bout that
samiam: not working wat :-(
Mimi: that was it, judi
samiam: lin where are you from?
judi: thanks
judi: Its very true
Mimi: np :o)
wat: ill try again ok
samiam: thanks wat
Lily: yes, mimi, ppl treat me like im invisible, dont count
judi: If you become disabled everyone thinks you have no knowledge anymore
Snow: Hiya Mimi :))
Lily: exactyly
samiam: no wat, what's wrong...is it me?
Mimi: hi kris!! :o)
Annie: bye guys gotta go
*** Annie has left irc (Leaving)
wat: mus6t be
samiam: bye annie
judi: They also think you no longer speak for yourself
Lily: bye annie
Snow: I saw the album Mimi :)) its great :)
Mimi: how are ya?
Mimi: oh good!!
wat: i will yry again ok
Mimi: thats true judi
samiam: what's wrong with the first one? okay...go for it
suze: I think seeing someone become disabled makes ppl uncomfortable
Mimi: I used to go out to eat with my cousin who has MD and the waitress would as ME what he wanted
Lily: right, judi, like yor opinions dont matter
lin: sam, i am from taiwan, graduate student in mn, have been US 1 1/2 years. almost finish my class:)
suze: they realize it could happen to them as well
Snow: I am doing great Mimi :) I got a B in my AS-400 class :)
Mimi: oh cool!!
judi: It really aggravates me to have clerks, etc talk to my companion instead of me
samiam: that is right lin....MN where it should snow soon :-)
Lily: u think its fear suze??
judi: true suze
samiam: how's your paper coming
wat: well take it ok
suze: for some ppl, they don't want to be around u
Snow: not so great elsewhere but it will be ok
samiam: I did take it wat lol
Mimi: I still don't know wtf AS-400 is but I'm really impressed anyway ;o) lol
judi: exactly Mimi
suze: because it makes them think of their own vulnerability
samiam: I always do, but it won't connect
Lily: agree, suze
suze: i lost several friends after i became ill
Mimi: I was like, I don't know, why don't you ask him??
samiam: it acknowledges acceptance, but won't connect
judi: could be suze
LordLinux: Mimi
Mimi: scott
LordLinux: did u get my e-mail?
wat: close those out only tske next one ok
samiam: I did wat
Mimi: yep, i did, thanks hon :o)
wat: ok close those out x them
samiam: I did wat they are all gone
LordLinux: ok
Snow: hello LL
lin: sam, i am doing my paper now. yes, winter is around the corner, i can feel that.:) kind of shock by the snow here
LordLinux: np
Mimi: I forgot to add you this morning, I had your picture saved in the wrong folder, I'm sorry :o(
wat: ok this one
LordLinux: hrhr
LordLinux: heheh even
samiam: LOL lin....your thesis??
LordLinux: he
HelloKit: I was surprised - the other day when we went out to lunch, the waitress was actually curious about my disability. I haven't had someone ask in so long... most ppl just point and stare. I didn't mind her asking at all... just wasn't used to it.
LordLinux: heh
judi: Carly what do you think about Suze's idea
suze: one, had been my best friend, known for 10 years
suze: others, we're great
suze: and i still have many close friends who have been there
suze: for me from highs to lows
suze: and i really appreciate them
suze: when u become ill/disabled you find out quick who your real friends are
suze: and it's very difficult to understand those that r gone
HelloKit: missed it, hang on...
Snow: its nice when they ask instead of stare isnt it Carly
Mimi: what did she say, Carly?
wat: you get it
Lily: true, sue
samiam: nope wat :-)
samiam: why??
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samiam: welcome jo
Mimi: hi Jo :o)
lin: where r u? sam, r u working? not thesis, it's alternative paper.
samiam: what did you change wat?
wat: im trying to send it
Lily: hi jo
judi: hi Jo
samiam: near washington d.c. lin
wat: the headerline for lily
Jo-: Hello Carly, Lily, LordLinux, Mimi, judi, lin, RedHawke, samiam, Snow, suze and wat.
samiam: hmmmm wat I don't know
RedHawke: hi Jo
samiam: hi jo
lin: long winter there? sam
judi: brb phone
wat: is there one there
Lily: k
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suze: it's especially difficult to understand very long relationships that end after u become ill
Jo-: hello peter
samiam: no lin....short winter here....I really like that
Mimi: hi peter! :o)
samiam: wat, in my file you mean?
samiam: hi peter
Mimi: do you guys want Question 2??
HelloKit: She just said she had seen me in there a few times and was curious. Since my arms are the only thing really noticeable, she asked if my arms were just not functional from the elbow down or what?
wat: this one is gonna time out it just did bummer
samiam: awwww
Jo-: I missed #1 but will be glad to see @
Jo-: 2
peter1960: hello jo,mimi, and sam
judi: that was great Carly that it didn't bother you
Snow: Hi Jo :)
samiam: welcome peter
Snow: hi suze :)
samiam: how are you
suze: i was getting sick today in grocery store
HelloKit: So I got to give her the whole AMC definition thing, and her jaw almost hit the floor when I pronounced it... lol
wat: get this one ok
Mimi: ok, the topic is people who became disabled as adults.....
Jo-: : -) Question #2 is????????
samiam: it won't come wat
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samiam: okay
Mimi: Question #1 was - Have you made a statement that was based on a predisability
Mimi: life experience and had someone underestimate its validity
Mimi: because they can't get past their view of your current physical
Mimi: disability?
Lily: questions dont bother me, withdrawel does
suze: and i could see clerk looking at me, i was getting dizzy and started shaking
Robin-1: hi
samiam: hi robin
Mimi: Question #2: - Do you feel that your disability has given you an insight into
Mimi: how people interact with you now?
* Robin-1 hugs Sharon
judi: save the children from Lily
suze: finally, she asked if i was ok, i said yes, i'm just not feeling well
samiam: thank you robin hug back
suze: i prefer that, than just gawking at me
Lily: lol, yup
judi: definitely
Lily: lily the maniac
wat: this one is gonna time out too
samiam: wat its not even moving a little bit
Jo-: Definately! At times the just look and go yuck and turn away. Or they come up to me and treat me like a 2 year old. Those that know me see past the chair and the person inside.
suze: sometimes, I've had ppl follow me around
judi: people think I'm deaf dumb and blind
samiam: no way sue
Mimi: follow you?
judi: and brainless
Snow: Hi Robin ;)
suze: yes, i was in a casino once, having lots of difficulty, shaking
HelloKit: Ugh... did I tell you guys about the security guard at the airport last year when I went to RI?
suze: this guy was following me around,
Jo-: People will talk to ferret face and ask him how I am today, I am sitting right there.
judi: no
Mimi: no, what happened Carly?
suze: watching me the whole time
samiam: that is just rude
judi: Makes me so mad-Jo
Mimi: Jo I would smack them :o)
suze: fraid of lawsuit maybe, lol
wat: im sending again
Lily: yea, sis, they speak yo me in loud, simple words
samiam: k wat
judi: yup
Robin-1: is there anyone here who either is or knows of someone who could see but has now lost their sight/
samiam: lily?? jrt
judi: jrt
wat: its gonna time out too
Mimi: I know someone who was born blind, regained his sight, and lost it again, Robin
samiam: awwww wat
Lily: yea, jrt
wat: unless you grt it
Robin-1: very interesting
samiam: :-( no wat
Jo-: I keep telling some of them my brain and hearing work fine and so do my arms. If they don't stop yelling at me and treating me like a two year old I'm gonna slug them and show them how good the old arms work.
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samiam: that is strange mimi
wat: ok you dont have any on screen then????
judi: or you'll dissassemble them, right Jo
Lily: lol, jo
samiam: no wat
Mimi: go girl go
Snow: ;}
samiam: you go jo!
Robin-1: i have a friend in Canada who has just lost her sight and wants to correspond with someone with a similar experience
wat: ok im gonna send now
judi: I withdraw
Mimi: brb, putting baby to bed
Jo-: yeah dissassemble good word I saw shortcircut too.
samiam: k
HelloKit: Well, since I was pushing w/c for balance, I had to do a search instead of metal detectors... I had some Cadbury eggs (it was right after Easter) and this b**ch, in a tone like she's talking to a 2-yr-old, 'Cadbury's! Did the Easter bunny come and see you?!'
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Mimi: lol Carly
Mimi: what did you tell her?
wacky: hi
Lily: hi wacky:))
Mimi: hi Brian :o)
HelloKit: I didn't, just gave her a look.
samiam: ohhh kit
suze: that's horrible
samiam: did ya smack her?
Lily: wacky?? wat has midi
judi: phone
wat: let me send to wacky samiam ill gert you later
Lily: k
Mimi: brb for real now...
suze: This is still new to me, i haven't had too many bad experiences where ppl condescend to me
Jo-: Kit my sister is 30 and looks about 14 with visible disabilities, they treated her like a baby. She told them she paid for the ticket and she earned the money and if they didn't smarten up she would talk with their supervisors.
suze: mostly staring
wacky: ok wat
suze: i had a horrible experience on a flight last year
wat: lily said u would like this
Jo-: attitude adjusted real quick.
Jo-: Suze what did they do to you?
Lily: brb
HelloKit: Everyone else was wonderful, it was just that security guard that p!ssed me off...
suze: i was ill on both flights, was shaking, and they made me sign waivers obsolving them
wacky: hey guys if lily chimes give her time it will take a bit
suze: of any responsibility for me
suze: on flight home, woman next to me was freaking out
suze: so they moved me to back of plane
suze: had a whole row to myself
Lily: thx, wacky
Snow: bro!!!!!!!!!!!
Jo-: Hey they yanked me out of wheel chair to pass detectors over me. Guy wasn't paying attention and smacked me in small of back on scar and my legs went out and I went to the floor.
Jo-: Hey Suze fold up the arms and have fun.
samiam: god sue
wacky: hi sis
Mimi: back
suze: and when i got off plane my wheelchair wasn't there
Snow: wb Mimi
Mimi: thanks :o)
Lily: back
suze: and it was like 1:30 a.m.
Mimi: you guys want question #3?
suze: and o'hare is huge airport
Lily: yup
Jo-: Did they find your chair?
Mimi: - Do you feel that your value as a human being must be selling at
Mimi: a radical discount relative to its true price?
samiam: where was it sue
suze: the gate attendants finally said 'can't get u a wheel chair, all out
HelloKit: Only problem I had was I had asked them to transfer my w/c at the layover, but they brought it to the gate so we had to push it to the other gate.
suze: can't get ahold of anyone, sorry
samiam: what? they have those little motorized golf carts
suze: and i had to walk through that whole airport and i was very sick
Lily: mimi, self esteem gets really low
*** LordLinux is now known as LL-BRB
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Jo-: Just sit there and tell them I am not moving without a chair! They have to get one.
Mimi: wb brian
suze: they were trying to fix one motorized for another passenger who was paralyzed
wacky: sorry
Lily: np
samiam: and one for you???
suze: anyway,....that's how i got these free flight certificates i'm going to vegas with
HelloKit: Oh yeah that too... also at O'Hare... I was supposed to have an electric cart but it never showed up and I almost missed the plane.
suze: it was horrible
samiam: wat....nothing
samiam: absolutely sue
Jo-: Mimi I think many times we are so glad to find someone to hire us we take jobs at lower pay just to get back into job market. Sell ourselves short.
judi: value as human low
suze: i'm getting my doc to write note for me for this flight so i don't have any
suze: problems on-board
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Mimi: yeah, that sucks Jo
Lily: yea, sis, zilch
wat: ??????????????????????????
suze: embarassing when the captain comes to talk to u about your condition
samiam: :-( watttttt
suze: and several other flight crew members
Mimi: I'm not really asking these questions guys, I'm just copying them off an email from Carly, and she got them off some web site
Jo-: You have to make sure in your heart you know how good you are and impress that on other people. If you don't stand up for yourself how do you expect others to.
wat: whatttttttttttt!!!!!!!!
Robin-1: brb
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suze: i just wanted to fly without being so obtrusive
HelloKit: No, they e-mailed them to me.
Mimi: Robin, Laura is at school tonight
HelloKit: heh
Snow: wb bro :)
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judi: hard Jo
Mimi: oh, ok, they emailed them to Carly then :o)
wacky: thanks
HelloKit: lol
samiam: hi capn
wat: its trying to send says you have not accepted
Snow: hi CapnK
samiam: but I have wat
CapnK: Howdy
samiam: every time
samiam: how are you capn
wat: ??????????????????????i dint know then
CapnK: not too bad yourself?
Jo-: Airlines need to be delt with a firm hand. If you let them dump on you they will. If you set it all up ahead of time and insist on the service or you and all your friends and relatives will never fly with them again they will listen.
*** LL-BRB has left irc (brb)
HelloKit: Normally I would have cried 'spam', but it was disability-related, so I had to give them that... they did target it, unlike most of those jerks out there...
judi: need to feel needed
Lily: mimi, im trying to answer, but cant type in fast enough
wat: must be lagging bad u are
suze: well...generally, the flight crew was excellent
Mimi: don't worry Alison, like I said I'm just throwing them out there
wat: ping me sam
suze: they took very good care of me,. the problem really was at the gate at o'hare
samiam: no wat....
samiam: I'm not
samiam: I'm fine
Jo-: judi that is why I do volunteer work and try to contribute somehow to society every day. Even a little thing can make a big difference.
wat: i may be then
suze: and there had better not be any problems on this flight
wat: brb
samiam: k
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judi: I try to help people with computer
Lily: agree with judi, yor self-esteem gets lifted by being needed
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suze: and i'm gonna inform them ahead of time that i am a disabled passenger
Snow: yes
Snow: wb wat
Jo-: You can volunteer to call seniors every day and make sure they are ok. You can go and do some kind of volunteer work.
suze: and have them make arrangements for me ahead of time as well
Lily: wb wat
Mimi: Question #4: - Have you experienced an odd lowering of expectations vs. what
Mimi: you know you can achieve (relative to past performance) through
Mimi: being an active participant in life?
Lily: i do that, it really helps, jo
judi: I'm homebound
Lily: yup, mimi
Jo-: When we concentrate on ourselves and our own problems all the time we tend to wallow in self pity. We got to get past that and try to help someone else. Doing that will make us feel more self worth and better about ourselves. Also helps pass time of day.
Mimi: that question was kind of after the fact because everyone already answered it lol
Lily: judi, can do things com uter related
judi: yes
Lily: and wat can make midis:))))
* Mimi is done with questions now, all the rest are
Jo-: So judi print up placemats or cheery notes to go into Senior Center lunch bags, anything to brighten someone elses day.
Jo-: Awwwwwww
Mimi: unless you want to see the rest of them??
Jo-: judi I am homebound too. But still contribute.
Lily: yes, i do
Mimi: okie
Jo-: sure hit us with them.
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Jo-: hi tallboy
Mimi: Question #5: - Do some people all-too-constantly condescend to you without any
Mimi: apparent reason?
tallboy68: hello
Mimi: hi tallboy :o)
tallboy68: i said wow!
Lily: yes, they do, like im 5
tallboy68: brb
judi: me too
Jo-: Yeah they do sometimes. But you can learn to use it to your advantage at times.
Lily: or deaf
suze: that rarely happens to me
wacky: WAITER: and what would HE like as heasks my date.
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samiam: wb chris
Jo-: I get lots of help getting stuff off top shelves in the store. And they feel good cause they did a good deed so let them.
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samiam: hi dl
dl: Hi sam
Snow: hi dl :}
Lily: yor lucky, sue, ppl think im drunk
dl: Hi snow
samiam: how are you dl?
Jo-: waiters and waitresses are on the top of my hit list.
HelloKit: lol
dl: Good. Just got done with my last student
wacky: ppl think Im stupid
suze: i've had that too, lily but not from ppl who speak to me
suze: just get looks you know
Jo-: Lily when I waddle out to the mail box sometimes instead of using the chair I have been acused of being drunk. Know how you feel.
HelloKit: I guess I'm lucky - never had problems with waiters/waitresses that I can remember anyway.
Lily: yup, wacky, been there
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Jo-: Kit one asked ferret if I needed a bib. Wanted to kill her.
samiam: wb dl
Mimi: try being on the receiving end of one of those questions...talk about discomfort!!
Jo-: hello dl
dl-: It did it again
HelloKit: Oh my God!
samiam: lol dl
Lily: lol, jo, i need a bib sometimes
Jo-: Yeah I use lots of paper towels at home but out I put the napkin in my lap and try to hit the mouth.
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Mimi: hi Daniel :o)
Jo-: hello Moooooooo darling! xxxxxxoooooo
samiam: hi daniel
Mooooooo: /:o)
wacky: '...and will your nurse be with you?' the teacher asks his disabled studen
Lily: lol, jo
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Lily: hi mooooooooooo
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HelloKit: When I first met KitsMan and he came out to visit for the first time, ppl stared because I guess they didn't think disabled ppl had those kinds of relationships.
Jo-: wb capnK
samiam: wb capn
Mimi: wb cap
Snow: Hi Daniel :))
Jo-: Kit we are supposed to be deaf, dumb, unable to feel anything, and if in a chair unable to have sex. Got news for them.
Mimi: lol
HelloKit: lol
Lily: u get that now, wacky??
wacky: SEX? Disabled have sex??????????????
Jo-: Why do so many women think men in a chair can't have sex???
Mooooooo: no imagination
Jo-: Yes disabled have sex. Find willing partner, relax and enjoy yourself.
Lily: donno, theyll break??
Mimi: Jo next time, just tell them that you have sex far more often than your 28 year old able bodied married friend in Quebec ;o)
*** tallboy68 has left irc (Awwwww Melanie, do I HAFTA go?!?!)
HelloKit: lol
wacky: Cus they think if yur legs are paralysed your Di.... must be too
Lily: awww, mimi
Jo-: I just grinned and tell them they haven't lived till they try it on wheels.
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Lily: lol, wacky
HelloKit: rofl
Mimi: lol
Jo-: hello lin
* Snow is learning alot tonight :P
wacky: its true
HelloKit: lol
* samiam so is sam
Mimi: haha Kris
Lily: yes, true
Mooooooo: everything i know about sex i cant count on one hand
Mooooooo: can
Mimi: lol
samiam: lol
Mimi: yes, we know :oP
HelloKit: lol
wacky: But hey I have no complaints
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Mimi: this is a good lead in to Question number..whatever:
Jo-: It's true though. Poor ferret face is alway getting told how it must be awful being married to a disabled woman and not able to have sex, by women hitting on him wanting to help relieve his built up tensions.
Mimi: - Are there days when you're just sick of dealing with all the
Mimi: misperception of the abled world?
Lily: and for females, men think we'll combust or something
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samiam: hi oz
Lily: hi oz
oz: hello
Jo-: Mooooooooooo let's get together and you'll need all your fingers and toes plus a large yellow legal pad to keep track.
dl-: hi oz
HelloKit: lol
Mooooooo: lol
Lily: lol, jo
wacky: sick of dealing.....yes choice inthe matter no we still gotta do it
Mimi: bbl
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suze: i feel a love connection in the air
oz: how is everyone
Jo-: Yes Mimi there are some days I'd like to shoot all able bodied people for being sooooooo dumb.
samiam: great oz and you
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dl-: Love Connection...that would make a good tv program
suze: lol
Jo-: except Moooooooo knows ferret would kill us both.
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samiam: wb oz
ozlyn: thaks
Snow: hi oz :)
samiam: welcome
ozlyn: thnks
Snow: wb ozlyn
Lily: but what bout this not being able to get out of bed bit??
Jo-: Are there some days that you are sick of dealing with the mispreceptions of the abled world? is the question right now.
Lily: that wasnt my experience
ozlyn: thanks snow
Jo-: I knit mittens when stuck in bed or embroider or crochet things for gifts or for Shriners hospitals.
ozlyn: ok i might come back later i am going to try to do some thing else right now talk to you all letar if you are still on
samiam: bye oz
wacky: OH ITS NO FUN BEING SICK IS IT? asks a church member to the boy who is blind
Snow: bye oz
Lily: i wud wake up, leap out of bed
Jo-: You can lay in bed and talk on the phone, monitor a cb radio and get help for people, read to people or help them do letters if they can't write. Help people learn how to read.
judi: I can't use my hands much
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RealAnna: hi everyone
samiam: hi anna
Lily: nervous that it wud be my last day
Snow: hi RealAnna
dl-: hi
RealAnna: hi snow
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Lily: hi anna
RealAnna: dl :)
judi: gotta go-tired
RealAnna: how are you tonight lily
judi: love all
samiam: bye judi
Lily: ok, bye sis
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dl-: bye judi
Jo-: They have phones that are head sets and voice activated. They have holders for books and page turners. Lots of things adapted to help people that can't use hands.
Lily: im great anna, you?
Lily: jo, a poerson needs to want it first
HelloKit: When I finally get it set up, I'll be able to use a headset plugged into the computer as a phone.
Jo-: Right Lily! If you want it bad enough you will get it.
Snow: let me know how it works Carly, ok?
Lily: many newly dis. adults havent reached that stage yet, jo
Jo-: My left hand was smashed and thumb is fused but I figured out how to knit, crochet and do needle work still.
Lily: jo, you have spunk
suze: it's worse when i'm sick for extended period of time
Jo-: Yeah I made up my mine 25 years ago that I was gonna find ways to do things I wanted to do.
wacky: hey I can brush my own teeth! I love that freedom
suze: that's when i feel so alone
Lily: most ppl r devastated at first, then accept and move on
Jo-: Of course I still haven't figured out how to hang glide, free fall or drive a race car.
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suze: when i've been in the my apt. by myself for too long
Lily: lol, been there wacky
samiam: lol jo
Anna: im back - got booted
Snow: you have to , or you never live again
samiam: wb anna
Snow: wb Anna
Anna: thanks
Lily: wb anna
Jo-: suze when you start to feel that way call someone or come on here. Do something to change your situation.
suze: it's hard, i feel weird calling ppl and saying, 'come over here, i need company'
Anna: someone can delete the RealAnna - mistake connecting back :)
wacky: I can doing somethings docs never thot i could do I can cath myself
Lily: jo, thats why this such a good place
suze: i have called friend a few times, had him take me out, or to his apt, just for
Jo-: We may be disabled but we still have charge of our lives and must make the effort. Why feel weird. Able bodied people get lonely too.
samiam: I don't think that's wierd sue
suze: change of scenery
*** RealAnna has left irc (Local kill by Mooooooo (aint so real anymore))
dl-: Why not, suze, its done all over the world in all societies
HelloKit: lol
Anna: lol moooooo
Anna: thanks
samiam: lol
Snow: ;}
Anna: not for long anyway lol
suze: i've never had to do that before i became ill
Mooooooo: my pleasure
suze: my friends have bery busy lives, not all of them have cars either
Lily: sue, how long u been ill?
Jo-: You never noticed it before you became ill. Now you have lots of time on your hands you notice a lot more.
suze: since 95
Lily: ok, me 92
Anna: suze are your talking about having to rely on others to get around
Jo-: I notice the ants crawling around in the grass, the butterflies, the birds and the flowers. Before I was too busy to stop and see them.
suze: sure, like sometimes i'm too sick to drive to doc
suze: or do laundry, or cook
suze: sometimes i need help
Lily: i cant drive
suze: hate that
wacky: that could be agood thing sue
Jo-: call a cab suze or call a friend. On good days make extra food and fix so you can microwave on bad days. Plan ahead.
Anna: i can relate very much suze - it is very difficult at times
wacky: too sick go see quack
Lily: how wacky?
Lily: o, lol
suze: cabs r expensive
suze: would cost fortune to and from doc
Jo-: yup but they are cheaper than trying to drive yourself and wrapping your car around a pole or killing someone else.
suze: yes
Anna: do you have any community services that aid people with tranportation needs
Lily: wud love it if a friend took me out in car
Jo-: Yeah we have thunderbird transport here that picks you up and takes you anywhere in town for $1
suze: the problem is...i don't plan ahead,
Jo-: Lily have you asked them to take you out once in a while?
Anna: we have somthing similar here to Jo
dl-: Well, start planning ahead
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suze: i never want to admit i can't drive until it's too late
samiam: welcome ray
Lily: yes, jo, but most work
suze: lily, do u have anyone who can take u out
wacky: welcome to Gimp land plan plan plan
Anna: hi ray
suze: i'm lucky to have a close friend who has flexible day schedule
HelloKit: Oh that would be nice Jo... we have something like that, a little more expensive, but you have to call 24 hrs. in advance, and you don't get to choose the time. They pick you up whenever they can fit you in the schedule.
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Ray-1: Hi, sharon. Hi, anna.
suze: he has taken me to so many doc's appt. and tests
samiam: how are you ray?
Jo-: suze, you are disabled, not helpless, you have still plan your life, you budget and your schedule. You still have responsibilities to yourself like everyone else. Cant; use the disability for an excuse to get out of things.
HelloKit: So even if you can plan ahead, they kinda make it difficult.
suze: i don't
Ray-1: Exhausted. Too much work.
Lily: 1 or 2 sue, but not often, they have busy lives
Jo-: Oh Kit we sign up for time slots a week ahead. And they go to the big city once a month for big shopping with the van full.
samiam: home now though ray?
suze: i just ...sometimes i get stuck
suze: i prefer to transport myself whenever possible
Anna: do you have anything yu can do from home suze - making calls - helping others - i know that helped me get out of a slump
suze: and to not infringe on others
suze: o , i am working
wacky: stuck or dont want to admit that u need help sue?
Ray-1: Fortunately, yes.
Snow: Hi
suze: i'm just saying when i get really sick i have a problem
samiam: that's good ray...welcome home
Anna: that's good
Snow: Hi Ray
Jo-: suze you aren't infringing most of the time people are glad to help. They like to do good deeds too.
Lily: yup, sue, i feel like im begging if i ask too often
suze: a little of both brian
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Ray-1: Howdy snow.
suze: yes, but i know how busy their lives r too
Lily: agree, sue
Anna: how about getting asked to go shopping - and then you mention well i will need to use my chair - and then you get well maybe we should just stay home
Jo-: And you would rather sit and have a self-pity party than ask for help? Bad attitude, got to get out of it.
wacky: My rule: if idont need it i dont ask, if i need it i ask anyone who will listen
Lily: lol, anna
wacky: thats how i got puter
Anna: now im lol lily
Jo-: Anna their problem not yours.
Anna: wacky at bargain prices :)
Snow: how have you been Daniel?
wacky: bought from friend for $650
Lily: good rule wacky, im doing it more and it works
Anna: yes now i know - but suze has got to find that place herself
Jo-: I have the quickie for going in other people cars, lighweight and easy to put in and out.
Anna: i wish jo - mine is a tank heheh
Snow: I love my quickie Jo ;}
Jo-: We all go through these stages and feelings suze. You aren't the first and won't be the last.
Anna: i love quickies too - sorry had to
Anna: lol
samiam: lolol
wacky: sue has to realize every one needs help AB's most of all
Lily: lol, anna
samiam: tks brian
Jo-: If ferret ever tried to give me a quickie i'd say no. I want it all or none at all.
HelloKit: lol
Lily: true, wacky
wacky: welcome sam :o)
Anna: go jo
samiam: lol tks
Jo-: dirty old lady I am Iam.
samiam: ditto jo
Anna: suze everyday yu have to tell yourself that life is a gift - and the challenges just make us appreciate that gift more
Lily: anyone get housebound in winter by snow and ice??
Jo-: suze, work on self confidence, love of yourself, acceptance of your situation and ways to change what you don't like in life.
wacky: I get housebound by cold
Anna: me lily - stinks doesn't it - but this will be my first winter not completely bound in wheelchair
Jo-: Lily snow and ice are brutal. Doesn't happen much in my part of Texas but the cold winds can keep me in.
suze: All i am saying is that at times when i find myself housebound for extended periods of time
Jo-: Wheel chair gets so cold it freezes my hands.
suze: as in recent bought with uri, i have a rough time
suze: normally, i am out living my life
Lily: same here, sue, in winter esp.
* Anna invents seat warmer for everyones chair - plug it
suze: i go out often, i socialize, i work
suze: I'm not sitting here feeling sorry for myself
suze: i am doing a lot of things
Jo-: But when you get sick you feel even more down. Not unusual suze. We all feel that way.
suze: i just have difficulty asking for help
Lily: true, jo
Anna: that's ok at times suze - you have to realize we all go thru that - part of the challenge
Jo-: I crawl into the bed pull up the blanket and tell ferret go away and don't talk to me.
suze: my whole life i have taken care of myself, tough asking for help from others
Lily: sue, i did at first, easier now
Anna: me too suze - now i just bark orders hehehe
suze: yes, well...i am making adjustments