Disabilities-R-Us

Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Disability Humor

Jul 16, 1997

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
  HandiBot ([email protected])
  Disabled ([email protected])
  ChanServ ([email protected])
  Mimi_ ([email protected])
  ^Penguin^
  Mooooooo ([email protected])
  DopeHat ([email protected])
  HelloKit ([email protected])
  haa
  CincyKid ([email protected])
  aurex
  jody
  chill
  Mooooooo via Telnet ([email protected])
HelloKit: logging is on
haa: HI SO AM I
jody: hiya Mooooooo...... it seems that who ever was using MY name has left the system
Mimi_: register it, Jody, quick!!!
jody: how do I do that?
* Mooooooo is prepared
Mimi_: er...ask Daniel
jody: dan?
Mimi_: I forgot :o(
Mooooooo: type /msg nickserv register PASSWORD
HelloKit: Type /msg nickserv register password
HelloKit: jinx
Mimi_: thanks guys
Mimi_: OK, I'm never going to forget that as long as I live
* Mooooooo looks at his watch :o)
* HelloKit gets out her virtual microphone...
*** CincyKid has left irc (Leaving)
* Mimi_ slaps Mimi_ around a bit with a (insert marine
jody: so 'jody' is now my password?
*** CincyKid has joined #disabled
Mimi_: it's your nick :o)
Mimi_: congratulations Jody
Mooooooo: wb John
Mimi_: the other Jody is going to be real disappointed next time :o)
jody: oooooh, I feel...... so new
HelloKit: ARE WE READY?
Mimi_: READY
Mooooooo: Carly, dont use BOLD
*** Micko has joined #Disabled
aurex: ready
jody: okay
Mooooooo: its hard to read
chill: yes
Mimi_: Hey Micko!!! :o)
HelloKit: OKAY
Micko: hiya
aurex: 10
aurex: 9
aurex: 8
aurex: 7
aurex: 6
aurex: 5
HelloKit: HOW ABOUT UNDERLINE?
aurex: 4
aurex: 3
Mooooooo: no
aurex: 2
Mooooooo: just CAPS
aurex: 1
HelloKit: K
* Mimi_ chuckles
aurex: 000000
Mimi_: blast off
jody: blast off!!!!
HelloKit: LOL
jody: jinx
Mimi_: jody...JINX!
haa: IS THIS A JOKE?
jody: you owe me a beer
Mimi_: haha
Mimi_: yep, I sure do :o)
HelloKit: DOES ANYONE HAVE A JOKE TO START US OFF WITH?
Mimi_: what??
Micko: Disabled or not, you need a sense of humor when you're moving house.
haa: NOT ME
Mimi_: I didn't mean to do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mimi_: sorry
aurex: you mean!!!
* Mimi_ looks really small
jody: they sure do
Mimi_: it was a total accident I swear
Mooooooo: np
HelloKit: WAS THAT YOUR JOKE, MIMI? J/K
Mimi_: *LOL*
Mimi_: nope
*** nate__ has joined #disabled
aurex: lol
nate__: hay all
Mimi_: hey nate :o)
aurex: hi
aurex: where are the jokes?
*** DopeHat has joined #disabled
aurex: wb
HelloKit: MIMI, YOU HAVE A JOKE?
* Mimi_ publicly apologizes to Keith
jody: I only have blond jokes
Mimi_: yes :o)
Mimi_: ok....
Mimi_: What do you get when an epileptic falls into a lettuce patch?
HelloKit: LOL JODY
Mimi_: anyone?
Mooooooo: After a few jokes, I have some serious questions
jody: what?
Mimi_: A seizure salad.
jody: LOL
Mooooooo: LOL
HelloKit: LOL!
aurex: lol
nate__: lol
HelloKit: I LIKE THAT ONE...
*** CincyKid is now known as Catz
*** aurex is now known as Sal
Mooooooo: any more?
haa: HI CATZ
Mimi_: Q: What is the definition of self destruction??
jody: ?
DopeHat: haveing major problems
Mimi_: A: An epileptic leppar
Mooooooo: LOL again!
jody: lol
Sal: help! I do not understand a bit!
HelloKit: LOL
jody: Okay.... this is not really a joke but a definition....
Mimi_: what don't you understand, Sal?
Sal: sorry.. no habla bien english
jody: I'm sure we could all relate to it....
*** Sal has left irc (Killed (hub.eskimo.com (irc.chelmsford.com <- services2.newnet.net 204.122.18.81] (older nick overruled))))
*** hiHeelgrl has joined #Disabled
*** aurex has joined #disabled
DopeHat: i tried to make a wav and it ended up being 20meg
Mimi_: hey hiheel girl
Mooooooo: welcome back hiHeelgrl :o)
Mimi_: oops :o)
*** Amazin1 has joined #disabled
hiHeelgrl: hi
Mimi_: hey Denise :o)
Mooooooo: Amazin!!!
Amazin1: Hey all
Mimi_: Keith, are you not speaking to me?
HelloKit: EVERYONE, CATZ IS JOHN'S DAUGHTER, CINDY - THE ONE WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT! :o)
Mooooooo: Wooohooooo!!!!!!
aurex: hey catz!
Catz: hi
Mooooooo: Welcome Catz!!!!!!
jody: hello....
DopeHat: sorry mimi
aurex: how'r you feeling after your surgery?
Mimi_: welcome Catz!! :o)
Catz: fine could be better
aurex: good...
HelloKit: MOOOOOOO, YOU SAID YOU HAD SOME QUESTIONS, SO I'M GONNA HAND IT TO YOU FOR A WHILE...
jody: more humor anyone?
Mimi_: jody...go for it
DopeHat: has the meeting started
Catz: any good surgery jokes?
jody: what is the best part of a doctor's job?
haa: CATZ DO YOU HAVE THE COMPUTER PET CATZ?
Catz: what
Mimi_: ?
aurex: ?
DopeHat: ping me
jody: telling the CEO of an HMO that his surgery isn't covered by his insurance....
Mooooooo: what Jody? :o)
Mimi_: *LOL*
HelloKit: LOL
Catz: no haa i don't
aurex: lol
Mimi_: cool, Jody :o)
jody: saw it in the paper today....
jody: it is now on my fridge
Mooooooo: LOL
Mooooooo: Ok, I have some phychological questions about disability humor.../
Mooooooo: 1. How do you feel about jokes relating to disabilities in general?
Mimi_: ./mode Mimi serious
jody: psychology? that requires thinking... right?
jody: I'm rather easygoing so it doesn't really bother me....
Mimi_: I think they're great...laughter is the best medicine :o)
jody: but....
Amazin1: jokes are jokes.....
hiHeelgrl: don't bother me
haa: THEY ARE REALCUTE KITTENS THAT RUN ALL OVER YOUR DESK TOP AND CAN BE DOWNLOADED FREE
jody: if I knew someone else was sensitive, I'd be careful around him/her
Mooooooo: 2. How do you feel about them when in a group of people who are disabled? Meaning, are you not offended but worry about the others being offended?
* HelloKit agrees with jody.
jody: besides....... laughter is the best medicine
Mimi_: jinx jody
jody: it's been proven
Mimi_: now you owe me a beer :o)
jody: LOL.... what brand?
* HelloKit doesn't tell disabled jokes unless she knows the
DopeHat: no
Mimi_: um...actually I'm not drinking now :o)
jody: ;)
Mooooooo: 3. How do you feel about them when they are told by someone who is *not* disabled? As an example, a non-disabled friend has a bumpersticker that says 'Be kind to the handicapped, they're fun to watch'.
* hiHeelgrl doesn't know any disabled jokes
Mimi_: I agree with Carly :o)
DopeHat: darn mimi
hiHeelgrl: that is sick
Mimi_: what Keith?
Amazin1: I don't tell any type of jokes unless I know not to be offended
HelloKit: It depends on what the non-disabled person's attitude is.
Mimi_: right, it depends on how they mean it
Mooooooo: He's ambivelent
Mooooooo: Doesnt matter to him
jody: well.... if the disabled person has a cute butt.... he might be fun to watch. Right Mimi?
Mimi_: if they're a good friend they should be able to laugh with you at your difficulties
Mimi_: darn tootin *g*
* Mooooooo is 33, single, male, christian, heterosexual,
hiHeelgrl: I agree mimi
aurex: i agree
Mooooooo: emphasis on: last girlfriend said I had a very cute butt
HelloKit: If they are doing it to be malicious, then of course I would be offended. But my boyfriend tells disabled jokes and that doesn't bother me.
Mooooooo: /:o)
hiHeelgrl: let me see Mooooo
jody: if I can't laugh at myself then who can?
Mimi_: emphasis on 'Daneil is now available'
Mooooooo: Not even a little bit, carly?
HelloKit: No, not at all.
Mimi_: exactly, jody
Mooooooo: hiHeelgrl LOL. Do ya have $5? :o)
haa: SOMETIMES I SAY SOMETHING FUNNY BUT IT IS AN ACCIDENT
hiHeelgrl: turn around Moooo
Mimi_: *L* haa
DopeHat: Keith is available
* jody moooooo should put his 'cute butt' on his web site
aurex: BYE EVERYBODY
Mooooooo: see ya Sal :o)
nate__: i dont like the bumpersticker that sead men are like parking spaces all the good ones are taken and the olny ones left are handicapped
Mimi_: take it easy Sal :o)
Mooooooo: ROFL!!!!
nate__: bye sal
HelloKit: That's not funny.
*** aurex has left irc (Leaving)
HelloKit: What's wrong with a disabled man?
* Micko just started a new relasionship with a non-disabled
jody: I always thought that the best parking spaces were those that were handicapped....
*** Catz has left irc (Ping timeout for Catz 1Cust12.Max7.Cleveland.OH.MS.UU.NET])
* HelloKit grins.
haa: I DO NOT LIKE THAT BUMPER
jody: isn't that why everyone wants them?
Mimi_: *LOL* jody
nate__: i sure dont
Micko: & she hasn't told any disabled jokes yet
Mooooooo: It can be interpreted both ways
Mimi_: cool, Mick, congrats :o)
Micko: do y'think she'll ever tell one?
Mimi_: probably, Mick :o)
jody: maybe..... if she feels comfy with you
HelloKit: Do you want her to, Micko?
Micko: good, i hope she wont walk on egg shells around me
*** jody has left #Disabled
Micko: yes of course
Mimi_: that's exactly how I feel about it
HelloKit: She will... Chris was real shy about it at first.
*** Catz has joined #disabled
*** jody has joined #Disabled
Mimi_: JF has yet to tell an epileptic joke but he laughs at the ones I tell him
Mimi_: wb gals :o)
jody: thank you
Micko: I've only been disabled 3 years & i used to tell them before
Mooooooo: welcome back
jody: hell..... I've been a gimp for 26 years and I still tell them
Micko: gimp? whats that
Amazin1: I think it makes a difference if you were born with a disability or acquired later in life
jody: someone who limps
Amazin1: how they take the joke, that is
Mooooooo: gimp is someone with an obvious disability
hiHeelgrl: I've been for 13
Mooooooo: good point :o)
DopeHat: like me
Mimi_: why is that?
* Amazin1 was born with hers....
Micko: mimi_ the e-mails have dried up!
Mimi_: awwww....wasn't it your turn Mick?
hiHeelgrl: hmmm....guess I'm a gimp...never been called that though...that I know of
* Mooooooo is an official gimp
* Mimi_ is an honorary gimp :o)
Amazin1: Is Gimp an acceptable word or not?
haa: I HAVE A 20 YEAR HISTORY OF DISABILITY AND STILL CANNOTTELL A GOOD JOKE
jody: my brother and sister call me that...... or Mighty Munchkin.... which ever
jody: doesn't bother me
Mooooooo: Only when gimps say it :o)
*** pider has joined #disabled
Micko: yeap i suppose so but u pissed of on holidays(vacation)
HelloKit: It is slang... some people are offended, some are not.
Mooooooo: hi pider!
Mimi_: that's true, Mick
Mimi_: hey pider :o)
hiHeelgrl: I don't think I like it...course I don't like being called blonde either
pider: howdy...
Amazin1: I know what it is.....just wondering
Mooooooo: I don't mind most disability jokes, unless they become relentless
jody: is your hair blond?
Mooooooo: one after another
hiHeelgrl: yup
DopeHat: i'm not offended if a gimp calls me a gimp
jody: mine too..... blond jokes don't bother me.....
jody: fat butt jokes do
hiHeelgrl: some are pretty nasty
Mimi_: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SOMEONE WITH A DIFFERENT DISABILITY TELLING A JOKE ABOUT ONE LIKE YOURS? (i.e. epileptic tells gimp joke)
*** lex has joined #disabled
*** pider has left irc (Leaving)
jody: there aren't many jokes about arthritis....
Mimi_: hey lex :o)
DopeHat: don't mind
HelloKit: I arm wrestled Chris yesterday and told him he couldn't use any muscle - it would be unfair since I don't have any arm muscles.
*** lex is now known as younguy
Micko: don't mind
younguy: hello
Mooooooo: hey shawn!
younguy: sorry I'm late
younguy: Wjat did I miss
Mooooooo: Mimi, it all depended on the intent
younguy: What
haa: THERE IS NOTHING FASTER THAN A ONE ARMED PAINTER WITH CRABS
Mooooooo: but I dont usually mind
Mooooooo: shawn, you missed 30 mins
Mimi_: *L* haa
jody: LOL
Mooooooo: LOL
DopeHat: hehe
Micko: HelloKit: I'll left arm wrestle u, that would be a fair match!
younguy: I meant the subject matter
jody: how 'bout.... busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest
Mimi_: :oD
hiHeelgrl: oh that is close to home!
haa: MY 15 Y OLD GAVE ME THATONE
Mimi_: cool :o)
Mooooooo: shawn, its best to go back and read the log
haa: GOOD JODY
Mimi_: OK...
Mooooooo: I like it :o)
DopeHat: What do you do when someone is having a seizure in the bathtub?
jody: what?
* Mimi_ knows this one :o)
younguy: ok
DopeHat: Throw in the laundry.
Amazin1: lol...Dope
*** Eaglekid has joined #Disabled
nate__: lol
jody: :)
hiHeelgrl: that's bad!
Mooooooo: howdy Eagle
Mimi_: *g*
*** Eaglekid has left irc (Killed (Ebroh (spamming)))
Mimi_: you took one of mine Keith :o)
^Penguin^: What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch?
^Penguin^: Seizure Salad
jody: you guys want to know sick humor?
Mimi_: *LOL* you're stealing all my jokes :o)
hiHeelgrl: what?
*** Catz has left irc (Ping timeout)
DopeHat: sorry mimi
jody: we had a snowy owl rushed to us at the zoo
Mimi_: np Keith :o)
haa: I LIKE THE BATHTUB JOKE
Mimi_: what for?
jody: it was hit by a commuter train and lost both wings
Mimi_: awww
jody: the keepers named it Choo-Cchoo
HelloKit: LOL
HelloKit: That's mean...
DopeHat: i have one thats about me
Mimi_: poor thing
Mimi_: lets have it Keith
jody: he's doing well.....
nate__: what keith?
*** wheelo has joined #disabled
jody: go for it DH
Mooooooo: heya wheelo!
DopeHat: The definition of chaos:
wheelo: evenin'
Amazin1: hi, 'lo
DopeHat: A bus-load of Jerry's kids passing a magnet factory!
* Mimi_ chuckles
Mooooooo: LOL!!
jody: lol
DopeHat: heh
jody: dogs gotta go..... be back in ten
Mooooooo: k
Mimi_: k :o)
Mimi_: jinx
haa: THERE IS A VERY SMALL BOY WHO LIVES ACROSS THE STREET AND MY GIRL CALLS HIM INCHES
Mooooooo: For the benifit of those who came late or must leave early, the complete meeting log can be downloaded from http://members.tripod.com/~disabled
^Penguin^: of course everyone has heard about the blind guy who walks down the aisle of the store knocking everything off the shelf with his cane....
hiHeelgrl: oh if this a meeting I should leave
^Penguin^: clerk asks him 'Can I help you,sir?'
Mooooooo: no stay!!!!!!!
^Penguin^: 'Nah, just lookin''
Mimi_: stay Hiheel!!!!!
Mimi_: *LOL*
Mooooooo: hiHeelgrl, dont leave!!!!
Mooooooo: LOL!!
nate__: lol
hiHeelgrl: don't you have to be a member ?
nate__: nop
Mimi_: nope :o)
HelloKit: No, of course not, Hi heel..
* ^Penguin^ is not a member, just the Presindent
^Penguin^: lol
nate__: nop=nope
HelloKit: LOL
Mooooooo: Nope, just have to be able to breath :o)
DopeHat: don't leave
HelloKit: Not necessarily...
*** wheelo has left irc (Ping timeout for wheelo 206.30.133.103])
* ^Penguin^ is not disabled, but has worked for and with
^Penguin^: Mooooooo, did oyu ever see my list post about Recording for the blind?
Mooooooo: nope
* ^Penguin^ checks his files....
^Penguin^: I'll fwd it to you if i still have it
Mooooooo: cool :o)
^Penguin^: i volunteered for them for several years
Mimi_: What's blue and does'nt fit anymore?
^Penguin^: ? Mimi
nate__: what mimi?
Mooooooo: ?
chill: 501s
Mimi_: A dead epileptic.
Mooooooo: LOL
Mimi_: *g*
^Penguin^: ouch!
DopeHat: What do you call a quadriplegic in your mailbox?
^Penguin^: <snicker>
Amazin1: .....now that's bad...mimi...LOL
Mooooooo: what keith?
chill: stuck
DopeHat: bill
*** Catz has joined #disabled
Mooooooo: ROFL!
Catz: hi
Mooooooo: hiya Catz :o)
^Penguin^: in front of your door....Matt
^Penguin^: on your wall....Art
Mimi_: *L*
*** laidback has joined #Disabled
Mimi_: in your pool?
DopeHat: i have more moo
Mooooooo: in the pool... Bob
laidback: hi all
Mimi_: yep :o)
Mooooooo: hey laidback!
Mooooooo: ok keith :o)
laidback: hi moooo!
laidback: how r u?
* ^Penguin^ loves the disabled
chill: hiya
^Penguin^: If it werent for them I nevver WOULD find a place to park
DopeHat: who tastes like water?
hiHeelgrl: oh that is nice penguin
^Penguin^: hehehe
* ^Penguin^ doesnt even have a car :P
HelloKit: LOL
*** Micko22 has joined #Disabled
Mooooooo: what kieth?
Mimi_: wb Mick
DopeHat: bud
*** Micko has left irc (Ping timeout for Micko client8659.globalnet.co.uk])
*** Micko22 is now known as Micko
laidback: brb lag
*** laidback has left #Disabled
Catz: I have a question
nate__: what catz?
Mooooooo: ik xatz!
Micko: what
Mooooooo: i dont get it keith
Catz: Why don't they make mouse flavored cat food
Mooooooo: Would YOU want to be the taste tester????
HelloKit: LOL... Catz I know the answer to that question...
Catz: ROFL
DopeHat: What do you call a quadriplegic who tastes like water?
DopeHat: bud
*** wheelo has joined #disabled
Catz: What is the answer kit
wheelo: ok... let's try this again
Mooooooo: wb weelo!
HelloKit: No one's stupid enough to taste a mouse and then the cat food to make sure it is in fact mouse-flavored...
^Penguin^: anyone here seen mothballs?
Catz: would the cat know the diffrence
Mimi_: *LOL*
hiHeelgrl: yuk!
nate__: lol
HelloKit: Owie... my hands hurt.
hiHeelgrl: why?
^Penguin^: How the hell do you get them to spread their legs for you?
^Penguin^: lol
Mooooooo: LOL
* HelloKit slaps ^Penguin^ around a bit with a slice of
^Penguin^: abtually
^Penguin^: actually
* Mimi_ chortles
DopeHat: What do you call a quadriplegic with a cut on his face?
Catz: What's a cats favorite ice cream?
* HelloKit isn't gonna be able to do much more typing...
Mooooooo: what Catz? :o)
nate__: sorry kit
Catz: mice cream
Mooooooo: LOL!
Mimi_: *LOL*
Mimi_: cute :o)
*** SoftCell has joined #Disabled
haa: NICE
*** rooster has joined #Disabled
HelloKit: Hey!!!
DopeHat: What do you call a quadriplegic with a cut on his face?
HelloKit: Keep it clean...
*** SoftCell has left #Disabled
Mimi_: what, Keith?
DopeHat: nick
Micko: dopehat. i don't know
Mimi_: *L* sheesh !
wheelo: 3 old guys are sitting on a park bench...
*** rooster has left #Disabled
younguy: well got to go
*** jlubin has joined #Disabled
Mimi_: BRB
wheelo: ... the first one says, ' I'd give anything to be able to have a really good number one every day
nate__: see ya later younguy
younguy: ok
Mooooooo: see ya shawn!
*** younguy has left #disabled
DopeHat: ok
wheelo: the second says, 'I'd give anything to be able to have a really good number two every day'
*** ^Penguin^ is now known as PengSmokn
*** jlubin has left irc (Leaving)
Micko: what have u gotta do 2 get ops in here?
wheelo: ...the 3rd says, 'well... every day i have a really good number one at 7am... and every day i have a really good number two at 8am... and i wish i didn't.'
*** hiHeelgrl has left irc (Leaving)
Mooooooo: Micko, you have to turn into one of us :o)
Micko: i already am!
wheelo: ...the other two guys ask, 'so what's your problem'?
*** hiHeelgrl has joined #Disabled
*** chill has left irc (EOF from client)
Micko: surely you could do with a UK op!
jody: hey! what'd I miss?
wheelo: ... he answers, 'i don't get up till 9'
HelloKit: LOL
DopeHat: lol
Mooooooo: For the benefit of those who came late or must leave early, the complete meeting log can be downloaded from http://members.tripod.com/~disabled
nate__: lol
Mooooooo: LOL!!!!!
jody: yeah, yeah, yeah Mooooooo
Amazin1: bye all...have a great night!
haa: LOL
DopeHat: ok
wheelo: bye A1
nate__: see ya amazin
haa: LOL
Mooooooo: Bye Denise :o)
jody: Dan...... I'm trying your recipe for water on the rocks. Not bad......
DopeHat: see ya
Micko: <wheelo>, i don't get it?
END

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