Disabilities-R-Us

Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Division within the Disabled Community

May 12, 1999

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
  disabled
  ChanServ ([email protected])
  Lily
  beat
  Mooooooo- ([email protected])
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Lily: Tonight we are going to address one of the hot issues that exists amongst the disabled community. It is the hierarchy of disabilities which tends to are only...." attitude. Sometimes it exists in an opposite attitude, one of self-satisfaction and smugness, At least I'm not THAT bad.
Lily: As with any other kind of intolerance, this division is often caused by ignorance.
Lily: It has been one of the goals of these meetings to educate each other about different disabilities, and how people cope with them. It is our hope that tonight's meeting furthers that goal.
Lily: ill give you all a min. to read that
Lily: i guess the first question is,Some disabilities are considered to be more acceptable within the disabled community, than others. Why?
Mooooooo-: people are afraid of what they dont understand
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beat: !
Lily: beat?
camille: !
Lily: cam?
camille: i think most ppl think of wheel chairs only when it comes to disiblities
Lily: theres no rules tonight, so feel free to speak when you want
beat: But an't we talkimg more within the disabled comuity itself
Lily: true, is the sterotype
Lily: yes, beat, within the community
Lily: like, paras look down on quads (not all cam:)))
camille: o ic what you mean now
camille: oh well i have never thought as myself better than someone else
Lily: and invisible disabilities not given credibility
Lily: no, cam, it not universal
camille: yes like someone with heart codition
beat: Here in AU, there seem to be a real line, like para then quad then the deaf then the blind
Lily: exactly
Lily: have you run into that moooooo?
Mooooooo-: i used to in school
Mooooooo-: but not so much anymore
Lily: were you teased alot?
Lily: why is that?
Mooooooo-: i was in a school for disabled kids
beat: and so on, if your born with a dis your right down on the list
Lily: you would think theyd be the most tolerant
Mooooooo-: kids are kids
Mooooooo-: disabled or not
Lily: true, moooo
Mooooooo-: and since we were all in our own element, we could be just as bad as anyone else
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Lily: wb kark:)
Lily: we talking bout the disabled heirarchy
Kark: thanks, I thought I would stick it out a little
Lily: great
Lily: have you experiended it, kark?
Kark: What's heirarchy?
Lily: kind of as ladder
Lily: wher dis. are ranked
beat: I went to a disable school , I can't say I found that
Lily: so, yor experience different than moos?
Kark: oh, I am sorry I get it
Lily: Have any of you had personal experiences of this that you would like to
Lily: share?
Lily: speak freely, kark, is open tonight
beat: of course we only had the one dis. so that maybe the dif
Kark: I went to regular schools and I a very visably disabled
Lily: i had letter today from lady in the UK, with chronic fatigue syndrome
beat: Sorry I must leave
Lily: and were you accepted, kark?
Lily: np, beat, bye
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Kark: I was treated well for the most part
Kark: kids can be cruel sometimes but not the rule
Lily: this lady said its still called the yuppie disease
Lily: did u get teased much, kark?
camille: i was not allowed into a ladies club once because of wheel chair
Lily: why cam?
Lily: access or stigma?
Kark: a few but had many friends and they were a good support, I was teased in front of my freiends or they would get it
camille: they felt when they had an activity that i would spoil it
camille: like if they had a rollig skating party i could'nt go
Kark: I shyed away from activities that would single me out for things
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camille: i told them i understood and i did
Steve101: hi guys
Lily: hi steve
Steve101: hi lily
Kark: hi steve
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Lily: we talking about growing up with a dis.
Steve101: kewl
Lily: how were you treated??
Lily: :)
Steve101: i was usuallt treated great
Steve101: everyone tried to include me
Lily: were you accepted steve?
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Steve101: yes
Steve101: treated like one of the guys
Lily: hmmmmmmmm, why such a difference?
Steve101: huh?
Lily: moooo and beat had very different experiences
camille: when i was in high school was a few disabled and we included them in
Lily: they were teased
Steve101: not me
Mooooooo-: not teased about disabilty
Steve101: i had lots of friends
Lily: does age play a factor?
Mooooooo-: normal stupid kid teasing
Lily: o, i c, moo, i misunderstood
Steve101: few kids teased me
camille: my brother was never teased either he had poloin arm
Kark: Were you teased about your cow spots
camille: he played basket ball on school team
Mooooooo-: lol
camille: and baseball
Lily: ok, then why within disabled community itsdelf is there this level thing?
Steve101: i played 3rd base...lol
Lily: lol
Kark: You know I think I tuned out the negitive things
camille: me tookark
Lily: as an adult, do you find you are more vocal?
camille: i don't think in levels i hope
Lily: no, cam, but many do, apparently
Kark: I have been out with friends that said how do you stand when people stare at you like that, I say like what......I don't realize it and then my freinds embarrse me
Lily: andit a problem that divides the dis. community
Steve101: i don't mind people staring
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Kark: Hi anny
Lily: hi anny
anny1: hi
Steve101: hi anny
camille: i no i am glad I not a qud but i admire them
Kark: me too
camille: they have more spirit then me
Steve101: lol
Lily: we talking bout our experiences being dis, anny
Lily: lol, true grit
anny1: ok
camille: when u really look at ppl we all have a diability
Lily: anny, have you experienced intolerance among dis. ppl?
Kark: yes]
camille: some worst t hen others but does not make them less
Lily: true cam, but it seems that many dont share that view
Steve101: true
camille: then he** with them pardon me saying
anny1: what intolerance in what respect? not sure i know what u r asking lil?
Lily: in the disabled community, anny, there are levels of acceptance
Steve101: i hate in restaurats when the waiter asks my companion what i want
Lily: lol, like u deaf steve
Kark: that stinks steve
Steve101: no lily
Steve101: it's insulting
camille: steve I don't give them the chance to do that lol
Lily: yes, i agree
Lily: ppl talk to me sometimes like im a baby
Steve101: me 2
atrpilot: same here lily i love it
anny1: do you mean looking down on certain types of dis? or level of acceptance of one's own dis?
Lily: but, and this is the point, some of the worst are other dis. ppl
Kark: There is a manager at work that tells a coworker to tell me things to do instead of coming to me directly
Steve101: all my disabled friends are kewl
Lily: yes, anny, like being a para is better than being a quad
camille: like someone rich is better then poor
Lily: i got a letter from a dis person..........
camille: small minds
Lily: who said anyone wirh a dis who didnt work was just lazy
anny1: grrr they need to try it for awhile and see if they feel lazy
Lily: i wondered why a dis. person wud say that to another
Kark: that's real stupid
Lily: well, it made me mad
Steve101: it would make me mad too
camille: there are some who can work and chose to do so but not all of us can
camille: or able to
Lily: id love to work, but bad balance, reading probs, tremors, etc., make me unemployable
Steve101: i work with my mind
anny1: i think that in general dis. ppl are less likely to judge others
Kark: I fear I won't be able too so I try to push myself while I have the strenght to
Lily: i was a teacher till i had brain tumor
Lily: u think so, anny, why?
camille: i thnk so lily ,too
Lily: yes, steve, me too:)
Steve101: i guess i'm in a different situation than u guys
Lily: why is that, steve?
Kark: I agree but I feel sometime I don't know what to say to some people who I meet with a dis
Steve101: i was born disabled
anny1: cause we are disabled and know how unfair it is to judge others
camille: yes
Steve101: all of my parts...what there is....works
anny1: i was born with dis also?
Kark: me too
atrpilot: Larry Flint is most hated man and para in USA but he works every day and no one gives him crap not even GOV.
anny1: hehe pilot
Steve101: ok anny and kark...did not know
Lily: :)
anny1: he is hated cause he is a porn king not cause para i bet
Lily: its the discrimination in the disabled community itself that scary
Lily: im just starting to experience it
atrpilot: but don't stop him anny
Kark: I think that we together her make a difference to each other
camille: do you get alot of it lily
Lily: yes, cam, i do
camille: froom different ppl
Kark: Talking about our fears and obsticles we face gives a great understanding
anny1: discrimination although not good is a part of the human experience, we disabled just get more of the experience it seem
Lily: maybe because a lot of my dis. are hidden
Lily: i look normal till i move:)
camille: ok i see
Steve101: i look normal in a dark room
Lily: lol
camille: i had the same thing happen to a guy today at a sci group
anny1: me 2 steve hehe
Kark: lol, me too but must be real dark
Steve101: right kark
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Lily: hi ray
Ray-1: hi.
Steve101: hi ray
Lily: well, whats the solurtion to stop this discrimination?
camille: he was in scooter when ready to go he got up took it apart and carried it to his truck and loaded it
anny1: i look knormal over the phone steve
Lily: oops, forgie typos:)
camille: now what was wrong with him
Steve101: me too anny
Lily: how can we stop this sniping at each other?
camille: just tell them not to jude unless they wallk in your shoes
camille: judge
Steve101: especially my shoes
Lily: any ideas? because it does exist
camille: or roll in chair lol
Kark: I have a freind who is preety, thin and has a lot going for her but she is so hung up on her weight that its debilitating, everyone has a disability in there own way
Lily: true kark
camille: yes kark
Lily: how do you change ppls attitudes?
camille: maybe they do it and don't realize it lily
Lily: o, i think calling someone a parasite, you realize it
camille: well yes
Steve101: well....have to go....bye all
camille: some ppl you can't help lily
camille: bye steve
Lily: ppl with heart or lung probs are worst off
Steve101: bye cam and all
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Lily: bye steve
Kark: I am sorry, I have to go too
camille: yes they are
Lily: ok, kark
Lily: any closing thoughts?
Kark: yes because it unseen
Kark: thats the kind people think are lazy
Lily: exacytly, kark
Kark: its not far to them
Lily: no, but for ppl with breathing probds it is
Kark: When I am driving and looking for a handicapped spot my friends have said what are they doing parking there
Kark: I have to straighten them out about the unseen disability
camille: yes my hubby says that too but stoped him when i explained
Lily: because dis is unseen?
camille: some ppl just don't reilize it
Lily: then whats the answer?
Lily: education?
Kark: yes
camille: yes ab have no idea
Kark: sorry to run, good night all
camille: and some dis
camille: night kark
Lily: night kark
atrpilot: kill all AB ppl.
Kark: lol
Kark: bye
camille: now pilot
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Lily: thanks all for coming
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camille: did good lily
Lily: thankyou:)
Woz: hehe
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Lily: moooo, stop log now, please?
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END

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