Mimi: lol

HelloKit: logging is on

HelloKit: lol Debbie

Mimi: Simon :o)

MrLinux: hello

HelloKit: Hey Simon

phoenyxx: good evening everyone!

phoenyxx: Mimi! :-)

Mimi: how are ya?

jrt: evening:)

MrLinux: %-)

phoenyxx: hey Carly :-)

phoenyxx: just fine Mimi.

HelloKit: Are we ready to start?

Mimi: yes :o)

MrLinux: yes

phoenyxx: ready!

phoenyxx: locked and loaded :-)

TODD: First time here what happens at 9

usn21: first for me too.

phoenyxx: TODD: I start telling bad jokes :-)

maggie: me too

Mimi: argh...

TODD: oh oh

Mimi: ;o)

maggie: lol

Mimi: watch out todd...

jrt: behave....

TODD: ok

HelloKit: Okay everyone... sorry I didn't get around to choosing a topic sooner. But as of about a half hour ago, tonight's topic is 'Friendships'.

TODD: WHOOSE IN CHARGE??????

jrt: ping me

HelloKit: First question...

phoenyxx: 9 seconds jrt

HelloKit: 12 secs Debbie

MrLinux: 13 sec

jrt: thanks:)

HelloKit: Do you think friendships are more important, less important, or equally important to you as they are to non-disabled people?

Mimi: hi kevin

jrt: yes I have friendships with both and they are both as important as one another:)

maggie: think more important because some disabilities precurse isolation

MrLinux: i agree

TODD: there shouldn't be a difference

Mooooooo: i think we take friendships more seriously

phoenyxx: to me just as important, some of my friends have known me years, before the chair, and I've also met many new friends who are cool about it.

Mooooooo: and are hurt far more when betrayed

phoenyxx: total agreement daniel.

MrLinux: thats true too

jrt: true daniel

phoenyxx: I almost had my show taken away by a group of 'friends' who realized hanging out with me was more than just me doing wheelies.

phoenyxx: serious betrayal

HelloKit: I can't say I've ever actually been betrayed, but I have had friendships fade away because the friend had to grow up and move on to better things while I couldn't.

phoenyxx: Most of my friends have been really cool about me and the chair, and very helpful when I've been down about it.

Mimi: what do you mean, 'better' things, Carly?

jrt: until I joined this channel I had only a small group of friends, but know feel that I have friends all over the world:)

MrLinux: i have been betrayed by one of my best friends that really made me upset, because i trusted them

phoenyxx: so true jrt :-)

HelloKit: Well, for instance, a friend once planned a roller skating party for her birthday, completely forgetting that I wouldn't be able to go.

Mimi: I thought I had a few far-away friends until I joined this channel, but now I know, from people here, what true friendship is and I'm disappointed in the others

HelloKit: As we got older my friends needed to be able to go out and be active... do 'grown-up' things that I couldn't do.

phoenyxx: Carly- back in 1994 after my show had been on a few months the group that helped me start it told me I wouldn't lose the show if the chair was less visible when we were together, so I was required to transfer to a couch and have the

phoenyxx: chair taken out of the room when taping.

TODD: its hard not to do the physical things as i did before

jrt: that sucks phoenyxx...

HelloKit: What effect do good friendships have on your ability to cope with your disability?

maggie: does family members try to do to much ...tkae the place of friends instead of being family?

HelloKit: Not mine, Maggie.

phoenyxx: jrt: definitely but I was in so much trouble back then, I had just gotten the chair I have now and that group was cool about it to start with but over a few months starting having a problem with it.

phoenyxx: maggie: not me

keteri: good luck at your meeting,

gregsgg: here we go

usn21: I'm connected throughy eskimo.com

maggie: thanks phoenyxx

gregsgg: well be right back

gregsgg: dinner

usn21: later

jrt: no most people that know my problem are amazed how I deal with it more...

MrLinux: can i say supmthing, please?

phoenyxx: has anyone else had 'friends' issue 'ultimatums' about you and your disability vs. the rest of the group?

phoenyxx: go MrLinux-

Mimi: well, since I'm so isolated here at home, my IRC friends make life SOOOO much better

jrt: yes and no???

MrLinux: i think a big part of a friendship is trust

jrt: yes scott it is

TODD: why do we lose some of our friends when we become disablrd???

phoenyxx: so true MrLinux

Mimi: hi Jettin

Jettin: hi everyone

Jettin: hi mimi

MrLinux: and without trust there is no true friendship

TODD: nice spelling disabled

jrt: because they are not REAL friends in the first place..

TODD: I don't that is true

phoenyxx: I didn't lose friends, but some people that came later sometimes were jerks about it, although a guy I knew from high school told me that if I ever reached a high position despite the chair he'd personally have me killed.

usn21: carly; are you starting the meeting?

TODD: its deeper than that

phoenyxx: jrt: right on the mark there :-)

HelloKit: oh jeez Simon

MrLinux: TRUST is the deepest u can get

jrt: and respect scott that is omportant too...

TODD: unconditional friendship is the most important

jrt: important

MrLinux: that is true also

phoenyxx: carly: not joking that time. Seriously, I've pissed some people off just being visible doing the things I like. The real irony is that my real friends are all able bodied except one friend from the college and all are very supportive.

phoenyxx: logging off per handibot order.

phoenyxx: out in 5 minutes....

TODD: whats that all about

maggie: go away sherrie

maggie: has been popping occ

jrt: you too maggie..

HelloKit: Do you tend to have a lot of casual friendships, or just a few close friends?

MrLinux: could u explain that

Mimi: I have just a few close friends...always have

jrt: a few close friends plus everybody on here:)

phoenyxx: for me mostly close friends, although some aquaintances have become quick friends :-)

MrLinux: i do too

HelloKit: :o)

MrLinux: that true jrt

Mimi: I've never been a very social person really

phoenyxx: I didn't say any profanity that time!

HelloKit: I have a lot of 'acquaintances', but only a few close friends.

jrt: lol

Jettin: hi maggie, stayin warm

maggie: yes trying to get handle on how to help brother

usn21: choose yo0ur friends carefully, not for what they can do fdor you but, foe their example of what you want to be and for what they can teach you.

MrLinux: close friends is a good foundation

MrLinux: to fall back on

Mimi: I totally agree usn

phoenyxx: me too usn

TODD: me too

jrt: yes like the saying goes,'you can choose your friends, but not your realatives'.

MrLinux: me too

TODD: lol jrt

Jettin: how is that going, maggie

usn21: it takes work

Mimi: we can chose some of our relatives :o/

jrt: well yeah I suppose,,,

maggie: talk later jettin listening to meeting now'

HelloKit: For those who acquired disabilities later in life, did you find that becoming disabled affected your friendships?

Mimi: wb John

CincyKid: hmmm, having severe lag problems here

MrLinux: try irc.bluegrass.net

maggie: think disabled later shows who true friends are

HelloKit: No lag, John... 2 secs

usn21: some people are afraid to have disabled friends because they don't know what to say and/or we represent a reminder of just how fragile thyeey are too.

jrt: ummmm, its hard to say,my disablity doesn't really get noticed unless I tell them...

TODD: it wrecked some and made others stronger

phoenyxx: I've been in the chair 5 years this month (the 11th) and my orginal friends I had known since 1985, 1988, and 1990, and they were cool about it from the start.

Mimi: well, I'm not sure if it affected my friendships but since mine isn't immediately obvious I have a hard time talking about it to my friends because they get weird...I hate that

phoenyxx: Mimi: out weird them then! :-) works for me with my friends :-)

MrLinux: i would not let it effect my friendships, because if they cant except u for what u r then they aint true friends

jrt: I kinda know what you mean Mimi..

usn21: yes people sort of disappeasred after I was disabled

Mimi: but I think they might get weird because I'm not comfortable with it myself, too

TODD: being disabled is not *cool* how could we change it????????????

maggie: after new disability did find friendships awkward at first..don't know what to say or do?

Mimi: hi Ray

jrt: Hi Ray:)

usn21: Good point Mimi, we need to be more cheerful and not try to obtain any pity.

Mimi: after a seizure, yep, maggie

phoenyxx: usually I've been the one who's awkward until I notice most people are ok about the chair when they first meet me.

Ray-1: Good evening, everyone!

jrt: yes well like I said no bodies knows about mine unless I tell them, then they knida move evrytihing around so I wont trip over it..

phoenyxx: one way to make disability cool- change the handicapped logo from the blue with white wheelchair logo to a armored fist clutching a cluster of lightning bolts. :-)

maggie: find myself trying to 'help' when maybe I should back off

HelloKit: lol

usn21: I don't nee a cxhair anymorebut, I assure you hat people are just as wierd about my handicap

jrt: I make more of a joke out of my dissablity..

TODD: cool phoenyx

phoenyxx: jrt: I do that alot sometimes, and it works to put people at ease.

phoenyxx: some people are uncomfortable but most people meet me and are cool about it if they see me being at ease with it.

TODD: you set the tone with your attitude

HelloKit: What do you think can help keep friendships going after someone becomes disabled?

jrt: yes at first woth mee nayways they dont know how to reacte, then they accept it..

phoenyxx: TODD: that logo used to be on every American bomber armed with nuclear weapons btw.

usn21: that's the ticket

Mimi: openness and honesty

TODD: good info px

jrt: yes I agree mimi:)

MrLinux: yes

phoenyxx: not sure about that carly, the people that knew be before, I didn't really need to work at keeping them around. we just got back into making videos like it was no big deal.

jrt: and try not too be too obvious about the persons disablity..

MrLinux: i think, well i know i can

phoenyxx: good advice Mimi :-)

Mimi: hi lisa

jrt: Hi Lisa:)

usn21: its all in our attitude

MrLinux: hello LISA

Mimi: hey Denise

Amazin1: Mimi :)

HelloKit: Hi Lisa and Denise :o) Current question is...

Mimi: how are ya?

HelloKit: What do you think can help keep friendships going after someone becomes disabled?

jrt: yes you be relaxed and most other people will be as well

usn21: our positive attitude and smile is catching. it should become an epidemic

phoenyxx: usn21: like from the movie the stand :-)

TODD: i think you have to talk about your disability with your friends and be real open about it. we are the ones that have to keep the friendships going

elisabeth: hello

jrt: trying not to over protect the disabled friend

HelloKit: Oh yeah, people can't help but laugh when they see my face ;o)

Amazin1: great, Mimi :)

keteri: when you become disabled suddenly because of an accident...you might need a long time to recover...in the hospital physical theraphy all new life ways....so your energy and your way of life is changed ...then your friends lives go on their ususal way. and truely you still love them but you need to get through things....so i isolate friends because of that..and then once better the distance has been far and it is hard to get back to that friendshipl....lo

MrLinux: then they r just in the wrong Carly

Ray-1: brb

MrLinux: they r just too pigheaded to look past that to see the real person inside

HelloKit: Hehe... I was joking, Scott...

jrt: why Carly theres nothing wrong with your face that I could see on your web page??

Mimi: lol

jrt: okay:)

MrLinux: well, what i still said is true also

Mimi: Carly, I got your joke :o)

usn21: we have to be patient at all times with all things.

maggie: sometimes you try not to show that being disabled creates hardships and friend feel shut out by the denial

MrLinux: people need to quit judging others by their covers, it whats on the inside that counts

jrt: yes once people know my disablity they always treat me like I'm either elderly or a kid with some things

phoenyxx: what helped with myself and my friends was simply to go out and have fun with them and not worry about the chair so much.

Sky: Moo?

Mimi: hey Sky :o)

Sky: hi hon

jrt: thats right phoenyxx

Sky: how are u?

phoenyxx: I think when people see someone with a disability out with friends like everyone else that actually helps people accept disability in general.

phoenyxx: thanks jrt :-)

Mimi: how are ya dear?

Mimi: hehe

Sky: whers Moo?

Jettin: yeah, but society doesn't allow that all the time, MrLinux

HelloKit: Does your disability affect your ability to make new friends?

jrt: no not really..

MrLinux: then society is in the wrong

Mimi: nah...my personality does ;o)

phoenyxx: overall Carly, I've made many new friends who have totally accepted it.

MrLinux: well thats my opinion

jrt: but my attitude is like it or lump it, if they cant accept you for what you are too bad

HelloKit: I'm really shy and do have a hard time making friends, but since I've always been disabled I don't really know whether it can be attributed to that.

Amazin1: heh..Mimi

usn21: mimi , do yopu need a personality transplant? find any donors?

Mimi: lol

HelloKit: lol

jrt: lol

phoenyxx: what's weird is that I'm sort of shy and open at the same time- wanting to meet people but always a little nervous at first.

elisabeth: at work i meet all kinds of people, with me and most people i work with, we don't see the chair or the respirator, we see the person and how they treat people

Amazin1: I'm a very open, happy, positive person...People just *flock* to me, then they notice I have a disabilty :)

phoenyxx: good one elisabeth :-)

Mimi: :o)

Jettin: what person isn't, phoenyxx

TODD: i have that problem too amaze

HelloKit: problem... lol

phoenyxx: I had one woman watch my cable TV show, contact me to meet in person, and she didn't notice the chair on TV! I told her on the phone we needed to meet someplace accessable, and only then did she realize I was in a chair.

phoenyxx: but she's really nice though :-)

Mooooooo: i have to go

phoenyxx: true jrt :-)

Mimi: I don't think I could handle people flocking to me, I like my privacy and peace and quiet

Mooooooo: back later

Mimi: aww bye Daniel

jrt: :(

Mooooooo: bye

HelloKit: bye Daniel *hugs*

phoenyxx: bye Daniel

Amazin1: problem?

MrLinux: probly mad cause i am here

elisabeth: me to mimi

HelloKit: No Scott

HelloKit: He told me earlier he would have to leave early.

jrt: I do but I like to be with my friends too:)

usn21: I must go too so goodnighyt to all.

Mimi: bye usn!

Mimi: take care

phoenyxx: the big problem now is to get my friends to stop making 'Quickie' jokes when they see my chair :-)

HelloKit: lol

Mimi: lol

Mimi: jinx

TODD: how about a quickie

phoenyxx: 4 years using this chair and still the jokes!

HelloKit: :oP Mimi

phoenyxx: TODD: just like that :-)

TODD: i get them too phx

HelloKit: What have you found that helps you to make friends?

elisabeth: phoenyxx, that is a given, i have quickie buttons on my board

Mimi: a computer

Amazin1: I'm guilty of that phoenyxx..my friend recently got a quickie :)

Mimi: :o)

phoenyxx: TODD: got a Quickie chair too? I have a GPV from April 1994

HelloKit: Good one Mimi :o)

Mimi: hehe

jrt: the computer and my dogs and Sarah

phoenyxx: amazin: actually the jokes are funny, I have a sense of humor about it.

TODD: me too midnight purple phx

Jettin: phoenyxx, tell them straight out, enough is enough, if their real friends they won't get affended.

jrt: or and my horse when I have them..

phoenyxx: mine is black with silver trim.

HelloKit: Jokes can be made about my 'Action' as well...

Mimi: yeah...horses if I have one :o)

phoenyxx: Jettin: no the jokes aren't too bad.

HelloKit: But not as funny as 'Quickie' jokes :o)

Jettin: but, after a while they get annoying, day in and day out

phoenyxx: what i like doing is sitting back on my rear wheels while having a casual conversation with someone, to see how long they talk to me before freaking out that I'm on two wheels :-)

TODD: how would you define FRIEND

CincyKid: gettin late, have to go unfortunately....goodnite to all.

jrt: night:)

Jettin: bye

maggie: bye jettin catch you nlater

MrLinux: a friend is a person that is there thoughout thick and thin, and one u can trust no matter what!

MrLinux: thats what i think

elisabeth: //

phoenyxx: total agreement :-)

jrt: trus scott:)

jrt: true

Mimi: a friend is someone who understands your needs and expects you to do the same

phoenyxx: Mimi: on the mark there :-)

Jettin: see you all later, bye

jrt: bye:)

Mimi: bye Jettin

MrLinux: thats is so true mimi

MrLinux: later

Mimi: LOL

Mimi: that was Pam!

jrt: lol

Mimi: hehe

elisabeth: bye bye, have to go

HelloKit: lol

Mimi: s/he just won't give up, will...it?

phoenyxx: every figured out her MO? one of ParaCathy's minions?

HelloKit: lol

Mimi: lol

jrt: persisitant little s***!!!!!!

HelloKit: What advice would you give to a disabled person who is having difficulty making and/or keeping friendships?

Mimi: dunno Simon...some nutcase anyway

HelloKit: Simon... did you hear/see what happened to ParaCathy?

jrt: well it depends on there attitude for one..

phoenyxx: advice....just that real friends will hang around despite the disability.

phoenyxx: what happened to ParaCathy?

Mimi: attitude counts though

jrt: dont put yourself down

maggie: maggie leaving bedtime

HelloKit: Someone from the New Mobility message board hacked her home page and changed it all... she was stupid enough to be using her name as her password.

maggie: bye

Mimi: LOL Carly

Mimi: what did they do to it?

phoenyxx: Carly: really? I would have paid to see that :-)

jrt: Bye:)

HelloKit: I wish I had seen it; I would have saved it and put it up somewhere else :o)

Mimi: rofl

Mimi: darn

TODD: would anyone ever try to contact a friend that left the relationship years ago??

jrt: yes

Amazin1: who is paracathy?

TODD: why

jrt: Hi Raven:)

Mimi: not if they 'left', but I would if they just faded away

Raven_: hihi

Mimi: ParaCathy is a wannabe

Raven_: i missed the meeting :(

HelloKit: A sicko... she's a wannabe - she wants to be disabled for sexual reasons.

jrt: if you want to see the person again,why not..

Raven_: MIMI

TODD: does she wana be quad cathy

jrt: yes i know carly a real sicko..

Mimi: hey Raven!!

HelloKit: eek, this is being logged btw

phoenyxx: whole wannabe thing is weird...and some disabled people accuse legit disabled people of being wannabes so in a sense, what ParaCathy does is a double threat.

jrt: oops

HelloKit: Anyone have anything else to add to the topic of friendships before I turn off the log?

Mimi: hi guys :o)

TODD: A TRUE PERSONS WEALTH IS MEASURED BY FRIENDS NOT MONEY

jrt: the only thing I can think of, is if you want true friends, stay on the disabled channel:)

END