Disabilities-R-Us

Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Fun Chat #5: How to scare a stranger

Dec 17, 1997

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
  HandiBot
  Chan
  phoenyxx
  bubbles
  Mooooooo ([email protected])
  kb9kyy ([email protected])
  Gilbert
  HelloKit ([email protected])
  jrt
  ChanServ
*** Chan has left irc (If you seek happiness for yourself, you will find only sadness. If you seek to find happiness for others, you will find happiness for yourself as well.)
Mooooooo: ready :o)
jrt: i think it was going to be jokes or something??
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bubbles: thank you grass hopper
bubbles: you're late
ScripterX: Fun with Pizza Orders - Ask what the order taker is wearing.
Mooooooo: howdy jeff
ScripterX: My wife asked me that if I could find out how and when I was gonna die would I want to I said no, why She said never mind
Mooooooo: lol
kb9kyy: lol
bubbles: lol
kb9kyy: jinx
HelloKit: It was brought to my attention recently that some people, expecially newcomers, may not realize that Fun Chat is supposed to be humorous and may take it seriously...
kb9kyy: oh well, at least it fits you...
phoenyxx: who, me Carly? :-)
HelloKit: Therefore I've decided to remind everyone before the meetings... THESE ARE JOKES!!!
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kb9kyy: knock off the color...or i'll knock off your head
kb9kyy: lol
phoenyxx: yes, remarks about using a Ryder truck for ADA compliance enforcement are only jokes....for now :-)
Mooooooo: HAD THIS BEEN SERIOUS, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ADVISED WHERE TO TUNE INTO IN YOUR AREA
Gilbert: Thanks for the clarification Carly
bubbles: damn ....i only came on line for serious conv
Mooooooo: THIS IS ONLY A JOKE
kb9kyy: hehe
* HelloKit sticks her tongue out at Brad.
jrt: get a big fat cane toad and put it front of them, that would scare anybody
jrt: hi pyro:)
jrt: okaldokalydo:)
kb9kyy: ooh! getting fresh with me?
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Mooooooo: WARNING: This channel contains adult language, adult content, and psychological nudity. Reader discretion is advised.
HelloKit: hehehe
phoenyxx: jrt: don't people get high licking cane toads? :-)
kb9kyy: lol
Mooooooo: tracy :o)
Mooooooo: Judi!
judi: hi
Red_: Daniel!
kb9kyy: oh brother...
Red_: hello everyone
kb9kyy: hehe
judi: thanks
Mooooooo: ok Carly whats the agenda?
kb9kyy: a good way to scare strangers about my vision is to walk toward someone with my hands outstretched, especially toward a woman...they usually back up pretty fast
jrt: you tell em....
HelloKit: So... before I start rattling off the ideas I came up with... does anyone have a good way to scare someone?
Mooooooo: LOL
HelloKit: lol Brad
Mooooooo: Yes!
kb9kyy: done it before, too!
Mooooooo: When I was in a cast after back surgery....
HelloKit: oops, forgot to turn my log on
Mooooooo: I stuck an exacto knife in my back
jrt: never tried licking one???:)
kb9kyy: NO COMMENT!
Mooooooo: and put ketchup on it
kb9kyy: hehe
Mooooooo: and layed across the desk
kb9kyy: sounds good
Gilbert: Dan, that's twisted! I love it.
phoenyxx: ...what I've done a few times that's freaked people out is to roll past a high counter, where they can't see me, and I reach up and grab something. all they see is this hand come up and take something :-)
Mooooooo: the teacher almost had a stroke
Red_: you are sick!
Mooooooo: LOL
HelloKit: woo-hoo!
Mooooooo: that would scare the crap outta me
jrt: taking my clothes off:)
kb9kyy: my mom used to take her glass eye out and show it to people...
Gilbert: You could screech to a halt within inches of someone's toes
kb9kyy: hehehe
Red_: lol
phoenyxx: Gilbert: I've done that before :-)
kb9kyy: hehe
kb9kyy: you could come at them at full speed!
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kb9kyy: and not slow down
Mooooooo: I used to know someone who said they needed to see a little higher so they took their glass eye and held it up real high
kb9kyy: hehe
HelloKit: lol
kb9kyy: i'll have to tell her that one...
HelloKit: aww man
* HelloKit takes off behind the couch...
*** HelloKit is now known as LitterBox
kb9kyy: i'l d/l the log in the morning, I gotta get to bed
phoenyxx: ....what always make some people nervous is when I've had a conversation with them while balanced on my rear wheels :-)
Mooooooo: Denise :o)
Mooooooo: LOL
Gilbert: That's what I mean Kb
Amazin1: hi, Moo :)
kb9kyy: what is the word tootsieroll supposed to be doing?
Red_: I've been out shooting pool when a guy breaks and the ball goes flying off the table and hit me, barely, but I went on about my leg, my leg
Gilbert: Ha ha, Simon, I've seen that done!
jrt: BBL too slow:)
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phoenyxx: Gilbert: yes, so much fun :-)
kb9kyy: i've taken my mom's glass eye while playing pool, and told the person who almost put my eye out with the damn thing that they really put it out...then hold out the eye
Mooooooo: Scripter, a lot here cant see the color because they are on java
bubbles: scripter im gay
kb9kyy: or ircII
kb9kyy: what!
Red_: lol
bubbles: like hell i am
Mooooooo: yea, or IRCii :o)
kb9kyy: what does that say without the color?
bubbles: i,m married
ScripterX: bubbles:And?
bubbles: squeak
Mooooooo: it was a bunch of M's
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kb9kyy: hehe
kb9kyy: i saw glow in the dark condoms...
Mooooooo: howdy Ray :o)
Mooooooo: ok, anyone have any other stories?
bubbles: ray
kb9kyy: i had my girlfriend blindfold herself once...she had to find her way around, the same as I did...:-)
kb9kyy: hehe
Ray1: Hi, all, bubbles.
phoenyxx: what I also have done that's freaked a few people out is to say 'That building isn't accessable...are Ryder moving trucks stick shift or automatic?...and after a few seconds they get it! :-)
Mooooooo: LOL
bubbles: ????
Mooooooo: i remember after eye surgery i went a whole week that way
Mooooooo: it wasn't fun at all
bubbles: too bad if you're blind and scared of the dark
Gilbert: Simon, does falling out of the chair count as freaking people out?
kb9kyy: blindness isn't fun...except when both partners are 'blind' (one is faking it)...makes for one hell of a FUN night...:0)
Mooooooo: when my oldest sister had patches on her eyes (she burned them) we gave her all the wrong colors of makeup
Mooooooo: blue lipstick
phoenyxx: Gilbert: yeah, but that is what my seatbelt is supposed to prevent.
Red_: that's mean!
Mooooooo: green eye shadow
bubbles: clown?
bubbles: or slut?
Mooooooo: purple blush
phoenyxx: you need a seatbelt in a Quickie :-)
Mooooooo: she looked like Bozo
kb9kyy: how about cutting the seat out of an old chair and standing up in the hollow of the chair, and pretending you don't have legs
bubbles: alien
kb9kyy: sure
bubbles: eddie murphy
kb9kyy: i'm outtie...
Mooooooo: LOL
kb9kyy: http://members.tripod.com/~gjkd/
bubbles: ok
Mooooooo: see ya Brad
kb9kyy: visit and sign the guestbook
*** kb9kyy has left irc (going to bed (For Sleep, you nosy perverts!))
phoenyxx: bad prank there kb9kyy!
Mooooooo: i once bandaged up my hand to get out of a test
Mooooooo: some teacher found out and called my other teachers...
Mooooooo: so during the middle of class, she walks over to my desk, smiles, and starts smacking my bandaged hand on the desk
Mooooooo: the other kids in class thought she was nuts
bubbles: ha
phoenyxx: geez!
Ray1: What grade was this, moooo?
Mooooooo: 9th i think
Mooooooo: its been a long time
Red_: I pulled and moved my own stitches
Mooooooo: moved them?
Red_: most were grossed out by it
phoenyxx: about 3 years ago, when I was still at the community college, there was this disabled student in a power chair that kept hassling me and telling the disabled student services office staff that my disability was fraudulent.
phoenyxx: so I came up to her one day and told her my Walkman tape player concealed a
bubbles: I pretended i lost my voice.... bad news when you forget
phoenyxx: an EMP generator :-)
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*** LitterBox is now known as HelloKit
Red_: it was under the skin, so just 2 ends were sticking out, about 5 inches apart
* HelloKit paws at the sand to cover up her business...
HelloKit: Sorry I took so long
phoenyxx: in effect I told her that I had a device that would burn the power circuits in her chair if she got too close to me.
Mooooooo: LOL, simon
phoenyxx: ....no joke, this girl actually steered clear of me after that. one time I saw her peel out in the other direction when
bubbles: big business kit?
phoenyxx: she saw me pointing the walkman at her!
HelloKit: Okay guys, wanna hear some of the ones I came up with?
Mooooooo: haha
phoenyxx: go carly.....
Mooooooo: sure Carly :o)
HelloKit: These are a little more twisted...
Mooooooo: go for it
HelloKit: If you are an amputee, sit in a doctor's waiting room and warn all the patients that he costs an arm and a leg.
bubbles: hmmmmm
Mooooooo: LOL
phoenyxx: bad! :-)
Mooooooo: next!
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HelloKit: Or, also for amputees... go into a hardware store and make a fuss about how unsafe the chainsaw they sold you is...
Mooooooo: ROFL!
Mooooooo: Hey Chad :o)
phoenyxx: sometimes when someone asks me about my chair I tell them that the intelligence briefing didn't mention this planet's gravity when I was getting ready to come here...
bubbles: chad
phoenyxx: :-)
*** judi has left irc (judi)
bojingles: heya dan
bojingles: hola bubbles
HelloKit: This one works best if you're in a chair, but still works for anyone...
Mooooooo: join on in Chad
phoenyxx: true carly :-)
HelloKit: Give them your best Mr. Rogers smile and say, 'Won't you be my neighbor?'
Mooooooo: *whoooosh*
Ray1: I've always thought it would be fun to apply for a job with the LAPD-- just to see how far I would get.
HelloKit: lol... well that one wasn't that funny I guess.
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phoenyxx: if someone really upsets you, hold your bookbag or backpack up and say 'I got this from a Russian friend of mine.....', with a strange look on your face!
phoenyxx: :-)
HelloKit: lol
phoenyxx: Ray1: I thought of doing the same thing with a NASA astronaut application!
phoenyxx: you all get the Russian joke?
Red_: I tried with the navy
Mooooooo: I used to tell people to press their shirt buttons and make a camera click sound when visiting embassies and federal buildings
HelloKit: Not entirely, Simon, but it made me laugh.
HelloKit: lol
Ray1: That's dangerous, moooooo.
Mooooooo: then there was the BIG joke....
phoenyxx: Moooooo: one joker I went to an air show with at one of the local bases was actually speaking in a fake foreign accent when we got up to the F-117 Stealth fighter!
Gilbert: That sounds worse than joking about b**** in an airport
Mooooooo: we would wait at an intersection until the light was just about to turn green.....
Mooooooo: then start crossing the street while fliping a coin....
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phoenyxx: Carly: the backpack from a Russian friend joke....a news story a couple of months ago reported that the Russian military had about 100 suitcase sized nuclear bombs turn up missing.
* bojingles takes a drink of dew!!!!!!
Mooooooo: as soon as we got in front of the car or truck, we drop the coin...
HelloKit: ah
PimpC: whaz up yall????????
Mooooooo: and wave to the driver that we are going down to get the coin...
phoenyxx: Gilbert: that is why I rolled away from him and the Stealth plane until he cut it out!
Mooooooo: then we crawl around the passenger side of the car and run off
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Mooooooo: the light turns green and they never see us come up
HelloKit: lol Mooooooo
bubbles: hi p
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Mooooooo: so they wait, walk around the car over and over
Red_: lol
PimpC: hello
Ray1: those people have NO sense
phoenyxx: damn sitcom 'Working' ripped off theme music from 'Heavy Metal'!
Ray1: sorry.
phoenyxx: just saw it on here...
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Ray1: I like that, Mooooo
PimpC: what was that mooooooo
bubbles: hi to all just on
HelloKit: Here's one...
bojingles: hey man you left out iowa
Ray1: don't encourage him.
HelloKit: You catch someone staring at you, act like you know them... 'Hey, how are you?! Wow, you're doing so much better!'
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phoenyxx: good one carly!
Red_: lol
Red_: that's a good one
Gilbert: I like that one
HelloKit: Then there's my friend Jessi... at two yrs. old she saw someone staring at her in the market and said, 'Hi, my name is Jessica Aaron. I have arthrogryposis multiplex congenita, what's your problem?'
phoenyxx: wow!
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PimpC: later yall
*** PimpC has left irc (Leaving)
Red_: after being asked 'what's wrong with you?'...I respond in a horrid face, 'what happened to you?'
HelloKit: lol
HelloKit: I like that one.
Mooooooo: or say 'leprosy' and give them a big hug
Red_: tell them you are contagious
HelloKit: When I was little my argument w/ the PT was, 'How do you know it's not you who's handicapped and I'm perfectly normal? You could be hurting me.' Of course it never worked, but was worth a shot.
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bojingles: 20 hrs and counting until vacation :)))))))
Red_: I use to tell people I was run over by an airplane
Red_: I had a great story w/it
Mooooooo: lol
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phoenyxx: I'm left handed so I like to pull up to a computer in class (took my final last week btw :-) ) or at someone else's house and tell them
Amazin1: bye all :) take care
Red_: they would believe me too!
phoenyxx: that the mouse is defective.
phoenyxx: :-)
PimpC: later
Mooooooo: bye denise!
phoenyxx: mouse on the right side I mean :-)
phoenyxx: bye Denise.
HelloKit: heh, my mouse is on the floor
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PimpC: a rodent
phoenyxx: Carly: sorry about that!
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PimpC: sorry also
bubbles: wb
HelloKit: I just love it when someone has been using it and doesn't put it back down there... I'm banging around w/ my foot, 'Where's the damn mouse?!'
jrt: back again:)
phoenyxx: Carly- that doesn't damage the mouse? or is it modified?
HelloKit: What, you think my foot odor would melt it? ;o)
Mooooooo: it gets toejam all over it
Red_: well,...
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* HelloKit slaps Mooooooo with the Biggest Rubber Chicken
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Red_: ;)
phoenyxx: Carly: not what I mean, but a good joke :-)
PimpC: how do u do that hellokit??????
bubbles: wb wb
HelloKit: It does pick up a lot of fuzz and has to be cleaned often. But I'm not a lead-foot, so... :o)
jrt_1: bubbles are you there??
bubbles: yup?
jrt_1: did the dishes , think I've found a fast channel, I hope??
jrt_1: good:)
PimpC: also let me properly my name is Scott a friend of kb9kyy (brad)
bubbles: hope so
PimpC: brb checking my e-mail
jrt_1: can somebody ping me to see how fast or slow I am??
Mooooooo: *** jrt_1 PING reply] 12 seconds
HelloKit: brb
PimpC: ok
phoenyxx: reply 5 seconds.
PimpC: whats up yall????
jrt_1: not bad thanks:)
Mooooooo: no more stories?
PimpC: what?????
Red_: oh, I have one
Mooooooo: okay :o)
Red_: I asked my girlfriend to clip my toenails for me, she was nervous...
jrt_1: I almost killed myself one day when I almost grabbed hold of a bat (flying type)
PimpC: brb in 5mins.
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Red_: so in the middle of it I screamed
Red_: ouch...my toe!
HelloKit: The fire department is doing their Christmas parade... gonna have to go watch for a min... I'll be back.
Gilbert: A flying bat would be extremely difficult to catch by hand, I mean prohibitively so
Red_: I won't tell you what she called me
Mooooooo: LOL
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Red_: that was the only time she cut my nail!
Mooooooo: i cant blame her :o)
Mooooooo: hey ricky
bubbles: t rax?
Rax: Hello Daniel
Rax: Meat-a-saurasus?
phoenyxx: fire department parade from a Ray Bradbury novel? :-)
Red_: I can be that way :)
Mooooooo: lol
bubbles: the---saurus
Red_: what's a girl to do?
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phoenyxx: how do you get rid of stolen swords?
Mooooooo: parade and book mobile
jrt_1: has it gone all quiet or have I slowed down again
Gilbert: quiet
bubbles: both
Rax: neither
Rax: :P
phoenyxx: good one daniel, glad I'm not the only one who read that one.
phoenyxx: :-)
Mooooooo: about 20 years ago
phoenyxx: now, how do you get rid of stolen swords?
phoenyxx: ..............
phoenyxx: you fence them!
Mooooooo: dont swallow them?
Mooooooo: LOL
Rax: phoenyxx: ummm, if i had a tomatoe.... :P
phoenyxx: how do you trick a city's population into practicing safe sex?
phoenyxx: .................................
jrt_1: I'm getting sick of being this slow:(
phoenyxx: a Trojan Horse.
Mooooooo: ROFL!!!!
bubbles: what did st. peter say to princess dianna at the pearly gates?
phoenyxx: what?
Mooooooo: ?
bubbles: wipe that merc off your face
phoenyxx: geez!
Gilbert: Doh!
Mooooooo: oh bad :o)
Rax: I don't get it.
bubbles: bad huh?
Rax: :)
Red_: ?
Red_: lol
bubbles: merc is short for mercedes benz
phoenyxx: this girl at Stanford University (in california) was caught drawing a pentagram on her dorm room floor and chanting 'I summon thee'. Her roomate said to her,
Red_: first one I have heard
Rax: The people i work with pronounce mIRC as 'merc' anyone else find that weird?
phoenyxx: 'Chelsea, you have to use the phone to call your father'.
bubbles: what did michael hutchenson's past girlfriends say about him?
Mooooooo: LOLOLO
Mooooooo: L
bubbles: haaaaa
bubbles: he was well hung+
phoenyxx: ack! bad one!
jrt_1: what did the hurrican say to the coconut tree???
Rax: ummm
Red_: lol
Rax: heh
phoenyxx: the worst jokes I've ever heard though were the ones 12 years ago after the Challenger disaster.
bubbles: i dont makem i just tellum
phoenyxx: time for me to go...later everyone! :-)
Rax: Bad humor is bad for the karma
Mooooooo: nite Simon
bubbles: and the dogma
jrt_1: hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one hell of a blow job
*** phoenyxx has left #Disabled
bubbles: bye
Mooooooo: lol
*** Rax has left #disabled
bubbles: haaaa
Gilbert: mIRC = Merc, yeah, I've heard that too
Red_: I love good sick jokes
Red_: lol
END

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