Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Fun Chat #8

Aug 18, 1999

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
suzze: woo hoo
suzze: party!!!!
Mooooooo: yeehaw
Mooooooo: i guess i could mass invite
Ray-1: I've got the drinks!
suzze: yes, you could
suzze: woo hoo, pour me a diet coke
Mooooooo: a friend told me why diet coke tastes so metalic
* suzze brings in baskets of chips and nacho doritos
suzze: o no, what??
* Ray-1 pour suzze a diet coke.
Mooooooo: it has more acid which gets aluminum from the can in it
suzze: lovely
suzze: thank you ray
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Mooooooo: which causes alzheimers
suzze: what???
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suzze: omg, don't say that to meeeeee
suzze: yuck
suzze: scary
Mooooooo: but, what the heck
suzze: ok, what if i buy it in two-liter?
suzze: i buy lots of 2 liters instead of cans
Mooooooo: plastic is fine
suzze: good, then i shall continue consuming mass quantities of diet coke
Mooooooo: ok all
suzze: in plastic
Mooooooo: tonight's topic is i aint gotta damn clue
suzze: lol
Mooooooo: and as such
Mooooooo: we can decide what to talk about
Mooooooo: and then talk about it
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Mooooooo: until we're done talking about it
Libby^3: Voila!
Mooooooo: sound like a plan?
suzze: sounds like a plan
suzze: gmta
Mooooooo: lol
Mooooooo: maybe we can come up with ideas for future meetings
Mooooooo: something fun
Mooooooo: informative
Beat: Gmta?
Libby^3: Fun is good
suzze: gmta=great minds think alike
Mooooooo: maybe even re-issue some old meeting topics
suzze: ok, cool
suzze: there's one that i have mentioned before
suzze: to judi and lily
Mooooooo: whats that?
suzze: and that is, how to guard against getting too emotionally involved in ppl's problems
Mooooooo: ooh
Mooooooo: i like that
Libby^3: me too
suzze: cool
suzze: cause i have done that before and it can be soooo draining
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Beat: Yes thats a good one Suzze
Mooooooo: yep, i think we all have
Mooooooo: one popular topic was Disabilities & Romance
suzze: yyyyyyeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss
Mooooooo: we had one the last friday of every month
suzze: that sounds interesting
Libby^3: You mean disabled ppl have romances?? No way! ROFL
camille: romance???? whats that
suzze: :o)
camille: oh that thing with the hubby
Mooooooo: yes, but the ones who dont have romance have batteries
suzze: not all!!!
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suzze: some don't believe in batteries
Mooooooo: Disability Foul-Ups, Bleeps & Blunders was fun too
Mooooooo: lol
suzze: o, like stupid things others have done?
suzze: or, ourselves?
Mooooooo: yep
Mooooooo: both
suzze: ok, that would be fun
Libby^3: Hi captdog
Beat: Yes Good Question cammille
Mooooooo: Jo hosted Sex and Disabilities twice
Beat: Lo
suzze: how about, marriage and disabilities
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Mooooooo: yes, excellent
captdog: lol
captdog: disability in marrage
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camille: works for me suzze
Mooooooo: but, i would like to see more fun topics for a while
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suzze: me too
Mooooooo: Funny Questions and Comments was also great
captdog: If both spouses are non AB does it work out better
Mooooooo: there is nothing wrong with rehashing old material
Libby^3: True, Mooo.
Mooooooo: do many of you go back and read old meeting logs?
suzze: tips on how to romance on irc
suzze: i have
Libby^3: I do, Moo
Mooooooo: romance was the most popular
woz: i go from time to time
woz: romance not my specialty
Mooooooo: unfortunatly, the first 10 meetings we had are gone
Mooooooo: any others you can think of?
Kark: whatcha mean Moooooo
Mooooooo: laura wanted to do another what wheelchairs are good for
Mooooooo: meeting topics, karen
suzze: i read that one, lol
suzze: was funny
Kark: upcoming ones?
Mooooooo: more fun and informative meetings
Mooooooo: yes
Beat: I think there more of risk with two disable Ppl, just that extra pressure that placed on the dis couppleds
Mooooooo: we have no topics scheduled and im looking for ideas
Kark: oh
Libby^3: I disagree, Beat. I wouldnt trade my gimp guy up for any AB-no way
Mooooooo: jude has done a great job but she needs a break
captdog: Beat ,look at it from a more equal, level when both lovers ,mates are dis.
Mooooooo: i agree, capt
Libby^3: Dinner bell just rang, bye all
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captdog: But this is the exception not the rule? Anyone have some data?
Mooooooo: well, not specific
Mooooooo: but...
Mooooooo: matched couples tend to stay together
Mooooooo: opposite attact, but similar stays
captdog: Dan you are an observer of commo,and a thinker.
captdog: communication
Mooooooo: commo?
Mooooooo: thank you
Beat: Yes I agree as long as the exra strain Dos'nt get on top of you. I i would not marry and able body perso
Mooooooo: i say a long time ago i would not marry a non-disabled woman
suzze: i couldn't even think about those things
suzze: would/wouldn't
suzze: hmmm
camille: hey love my able bodied hubby
Mooooooo: would not
suzze: i mean, you have all made that decision already?
captdog: We have our own beliefs that will sustain us or do us in. The love or lack of love.
suzze: that hasn't really been made for me
Mooooooo: i made it a few years ago
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Mooooooo: i think it all depends on the disability, sue
Kark: hi anny
captdog: true
Mooooooo: hi anny
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anny1: hello
anny1: what depends on dis moooooo?
camille: it depends on the person also
Mooooooo: about choosing to only marry a disabled/non-disabled person
Mooooooo: being that i am outwardly disabled, i want a similar mate
captdog: Sounds logical
Mooooooo: because when it comes to personality and sexuality, there would be more of a bond
Mooooooo: because of understanding eachothers needs
woz: rofl
woz: oops
captdog: A person who already understands many technics?
woz: sorry
Mooooooo: np max
Beat: Yes each case is very driffent, It depends on your own attiudes to life I feel
Mooooooo: just a person who understands
woz: think dans view has merrits
captdog: Agreed
camille: yes beat
woz: did understands dis
suzze: i am open to anyone, ANYONE
suzze: at all
suzze: lol
camille: go for it suze
suzze: except for freaks
Mooooooo: woohoo sue
Mooooooo: lol
Beat: Is Sex the be all and end all of Life?
Mooooooo: no freaks, geeks, or creeps?
camille: not beat
suzze: right!!!
camille: but it helps lol
Mooooooo: no, but sex is very important to a healthy marriage
anny1: there are many factors that affect how one chooses a mate
captdog: Hey whatever floats your boat.LOL
Beat: Is that why we get married
Mooooooo: communication is more important
atrpilot: i would marry an old bag that was ugly an not handycapped if she had lots of money!!!!!
Mooooooo: but sex is necessary
woz: rofl
camille: lol pilot you lost out
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atrpilot: yes mooooooo
Mooooooo: we get married for companionship
captdog: Atrpilot ,a man of true meanings, deep bro.
Mooooooo: hello mom
mom: hi mooooooo
Mooooooo: which is communication and physical affection
camille: pilot is deep in you no what with wife if she sees that
suzze: i'm in need of some of that
woz: communication is the key to the whole darn thing
mom: fill me in...
captdog: lol
Beat: But Ok what if you did'nt know until after you where married that sex was not possible how would you cope?
camille: yes is mooo
suzze: have no idea beat
woz: open chat mom
suzze: but, i would want to have sex with my husband
Mooooooo: you would have to define what sex is
atrpilot: sex suzze??
camille: exactly mooo
mom: food, sex, rock'n-roll... ;-)
Mooooooo: sex is a physical show of affection
captdog: communication is the major way to get out our ideas and feelings that were lost or damaged.
anny1: sex is onlt part physical, the mental part is the big deal
woz: hehe mom good
Mooooooo: but if you are speaking of sexual pleasure, even quad's with no lower feeling can have an orgasm
camille: most of it is all mental
suzze: really?
suzze: wow
woz: shure is sue
mom: it always amazes me how much the mental part the guys seem to miss out on because they appear to be more visual than verbal
captdog: Not all guys are that way.
woz: sex is natural if practicle but you can live without it
mom: or, maybe it's leaving us the short end ...
Mooooooo: yes, with sex therapy specifically for sci's
mom: that is a definite woz!!
mom: (sci...?)
Mooooooo: spinal cord injury
woz: hehe thanks for the backing
captdog: Sci , lost but not totaled
mom: k
Beat: You can still have a good marrige there are other ways of showing your love
anny1: i saw a viagra commercial with aguy in wheelchair, i was pleased to see that
atrpilot: your right cami i aint had an orgasm in 23 yrs. an aint dead yet
camille: lol
mom: sometimes the fear in causing injury sets mates off course
woz: hehe viagras gives me a head ache
mom: heh
mom: lol
camille: you sure it was your head mwoz
Mooooooo: does it raise blood pressure, max?
woz: didnt hel at all
woz: help
woz: big joke
suzze: i heard on tv that they r coming up with a new viagra that doesn't have headache side affect
captdog: I read some medical mag. that a spouse that gets hurt quad para and is married at the time , will lose their mate within a 3 to 5 year period.
woz: its all in the thinking
anny1: ha sent the blod in wrong direction i guess
Mooooooo: thats probably accurate, capt
woz: hehe anny
captdog: It is in my case
mom: ooooooooh, anny LOL
atrpilot: DR. said viagra would not help sci
camille: guess pilot and I were not in the survey
Mooooooo: but, im not sure its all the able-bodied persons fault
suzze: do u mean through death or divorce?
mom: depends on reason for lowering of flag...
captdog: divorce
camille: that is right mooo
suzze: is it that common?
Beat: But That where you guys have it all over us born with a disabilty
Beat: There is just Notting out there, for us!
Mooooooo: new quads tend to be pissed at the world and i can see how someone can get fed up
Mooooooo: any new injury, actually
anny1: it is stuff like that that makes me angry capt, when information like that is out there that is what ppl expect will happen
captdog: that is when it starts
mom: unfortunately, the stats show patterns
Mooooooo: ive seen a lot of it in the channel
captdog: Reports to be read or just filed away, for a rainy day.
camille: that swhen the counceling should come in
captdog: councle from a peer.
Mooooooo: agreed
camille: yes someone who knows
Mooooooo: and is already over it
captdog: AB councelors try but miss the mark.
suzze: i'm sorry to say, that i feel very ignorant about a lot of this
camille: yes they do
mom: could be they only have book-answers
Mooooooo: its okay sue
suzze: as i am not sci, and don't know any other than on the channel
captdog: stay lucky suzze
Mooooooo: im glad you're here, dear :o)
Beat: Do you Feel that may of been expioting that guy in the wheel chair Anny?
woz: ditto
Mooooooo: if need be, i'll send you an Honorary Gimp button like I gave Mimi
suzze: :o)
captdog: I havn't seen any wheelchair porn. See what I mean.
atrpilot: suzze knows lots of things moooooo
woz: too much hype and balonie about sex
Mooooooo: I have
anny1: i not sci but can know how utterly pissed i would be if my body suddenly changed and i had to change the way i thought of my self and life
Beat: Yes Well its very very hard to come terms with
Mooooooo: quite accidental
suzze: u saw w/c porn??
suzze: omg
mom: i deal with situations where the difference between success and failure is being able to identify the differences between book-answers, right-answers, and workable answers
anny1: oops
Mooooooo: yes, it was on some devotee website
camille: common sence is best MOM
Mooooooo: i was disgusted
mom: most counselors i've dealt with dont seem to understand that there is a difference
anny1: were you talking about the viagra commercial beat, if so no
woz: porn isnt a spectator sport
camille: seen one porn seen them all
captdog: voyour
camille: lol
captdog: lol
Mooooooo: it was meant as a freak show
suzze: that's horrible
atrpilot: anny good point and you just got to live with it
captdog: That was wrong, wrong
Beat: Yes Even when you are Disabled and its get worst it still is very hard!
captdog: No class act
mom: voyeur
anny1: true beat
woz: mom anny
Mooooooo: but there are lighter sides of being disabled
Mooooooo: great parking
anny1: i have seen a site with nude girls with crutches and braces it was very wierd
suzze: LOL
suzze: i love my disabled license plates!!!!
Mooooooo: its a fine line, anny
camille: ppl move out of way fast when they see u coming
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woz: ituitive thinking is better than all the books in the world
anny1: hey i like that woz
camille: runing over toes does hut -them
Mooooooo: because disabled people can be quite sexy, but porn just flat sucks
camille: hurt
Kark: nse plates!!!!
Kark: <Mooooooo> its a fine line, anny
Kark: <camille> ppl move out of way fast when they see u coming
Kark: *** mom- ([email protected]) has joined #Disabled-RT
Kark: <woz> ituitive thinking is better than all the books in the world
Kark: oops
Kark: how did i do that
suzze: lol
camille: where that come from kark
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captdog: going back to other room
Kark: i leaned on the mouse
Mooooooo: aww
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woz: poor mouse
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mom: lol
Kark: lol
Mooooooo: i knew someone from here who's husband took porn pictures of her
Mooooooo: it was said
mom: essence of flat-mouse hehe
suzze: yikes
Beat: I would dare to go one step futher to its harded in way that peolpe see that you disabled therefore what does it matter if you are geting worse you should be able to cope with it
anny1: ewwwwwww
camille: bummer beat
woz: moo please clarify the statement
Beat: with out any help
Mooooooo: what do you mean, max?
mom: beat, i would venture to say that part of the problem is when a couple undergoes trauma (dis)
Kark: backs bothering me, gotta go, good night all
Mooooooo: nite karen
mom: nite kark
woz: bye karen
camille: bye kark
Kark: :)
Beat: nite karen
mom: it affects both, not just one with dis to the extent of didn't sign on for this routine
anny1: bye karen
Beat: bye Kark
atrpilot: bye kark
woz: most ppl know i am a photographer
Mooooooo: i think so, mom
woz: for the record dan is referencing someon besides me
camille: but you make ppl look good woz lol
mom: and can't cope with the extreme stress & adjustments
Mooooooo: its just too drastic for some
mom: (woz, we wouldn't think of you that way... hehe)
suzze: max, your wife is not disabled
suzze: i didnt think it was you
woz: rofl
woz: thats true
anny1: me either woz
Mooooooo: i wouldnt think that of you, max
atrpilot: me either woz
Beat: I feel stress play a big part in the way you cope!
woz: qand yes i have done nudes and do them quite good
camille: yes does beat
suzze: i have to go
suzze: bbl
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woz: not as easy as one might think
woz: bye sue
atrpilot: she would have beat the stuffings out of you
camille: bye suze
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woz: hope i did not offend anyone
Mooooooo: nope
mom: (well, woz, quite well) and newly dis-people tend to have / exude magnified stress levels... and mates are having enough trouble coping with their own.
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mom: not me...
Mooooooo: i see the difference between nudity and pornography
woz: thanks all
mom: pornography is gross. nudity is neat & to appreciate it you are proving you're not dead yet.
Mooooooo: that about sums it up
mom: where's WW moooo?
woz: think this was a good meeting
Mooooooo: she's not feeling well today
woz: very open
Mooooooo: yes, i do too :o)
mom: sorry to hear
mom: yeh, glad i remembered it was wednesday!!
woz: i appreciate openness
Beat: It How we deal with our stress levels, Because they effect our Dis.
Mooooooo: i think beat is very lagged
Beat: Yes I feel they are very good
mom: the orientals approach life as balance. when one is off , is struggle to regain balance.
woz: have a good eve all
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anny1: see ya in disabled
mom: goin back guys... bye
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