Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Independent Living

Dec 03, 1997

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
  HandiBot ([email protected])
  HelloKit ([email protected])
  Mooooooo ([email protected])
HelloKit: logging is on
&Mooooooo: i is lagged
Mooooooo: start the log?
HelloKit: just did
HelloKit: Well everyone, I am unprepared again... but will do my best :o)
HelloKit: ping me
Red_: 1 sec
HelloKit: Thanks :o)
HelloKit: Are we all ready to start?
Mooooooo: yep :o)
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HelloKit: Hello shayna :o)
shayna: hi
HelloKit: First question...
beetlebug: hi ya shayna
shayna: what's up?
HelloKit: How many live independently already?
ket: me
beetlebug: shanya where are you from
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Mooooooo: me does
Mooooooo: kinda
Red_: me
shayna: Missouri, how about you?
beetlebug: hey gal
beetlebug: Pa.
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Mooooooo: i live with family again
Mooooooo: but i rent
Mooooooo: 2 rooms
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judi: Hi everyone
beetlebug: how's the weather out there
Mooooooo: judi :o)
beetlebug: hey,judi
HelloKit: Hi judi... current question is: How many live independently already?
judi: With husband?
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HelloKit: That counts, I would think. :o)
gb_gal: hi
ket: lol
judi: I need day help sometimes
ket: hi gb
HelloKit: For those who do live independently, were there any issues that had to be solved (i.e. attendant care)?
judi: I doubt I could live alone
beetlebug: i might as well, I do every thing any way
judi: Big problem for us
beetlebug: why, that,judi
Red_: dressing myself was an issue at one point
judi: Sometimes I can't even get outta bed, I have a potty chair but have a tendency to faint before I get up when I'm in bad shape so.......
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ket: hi andie......
andie1: hi ket
LordNick: hello everybody
judi: Plus there's the matter of food, drink, etc
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LordNick: does anyone here know any latin?
Mooooooo: e plurbus unim
Red_: why would you faint judi?
beetlebug: don't feel bad i bet your keeping alot of people employed
ket: lol moooo
HelloKit: Hello andie1, Jody and LordNick :o) current question is: For those who do live independently, were there any issues that had to be solved first?
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judi: Red, how did you solve the dressing thing
Jody: sorry I'm late.... evening all.
HelloKit: Mimi!
Mimi: hi :o)
Jody: Hey Mims!!!
HelloKit: Mimi, current question is: For those who do live independently, were there any issues that had to be solved first?
LordNick: really...does anybody know any latin?
LordNick: enough to translate stuff
Jody: used to....
Mimi: oh wow...totally forgot meeting night
Red_: I discovered sticks, tools, when I was in the hospital
gb_gal: hi dancer
ket: hi mimi
Red_: tools to put on socks
Mimi: hi ket :o)
LordNick: 'In manus tuas, commendo spiritum meum.'
Jody: I can't afford to live independently just yet..... but there would be issues to solve. I know that much...
judi: I need one of those, feet are far away
HelloKit: If you haven't already answered this, how were these issues solved?
LordNick: might be 'In your hands, I commend my spirit.'
Dancer: I'm back, did I miss much?
Mooooooo: Jo left, but she said she had all the water shutoffs made reachable
gb_gal: hi dancer
Dancer: Hello.
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beetlebug: i think everyone could live independently with in reason with the right tools
judi: I haven't solved them, even considered a nursing home a few times but family won't hear of it
Red_: how about a live-in attendant?
judi: Tools don't help with things like blood pressure drops, vertigo, etc
Dancer: I want to move away from home too.
judi: money
Mooooooo: my friend Darlene had a live in attendant for her dad
judi: How did she pay for it
Red_: well that does have a way of getting in the way
HelloKit: There is state aid to help pay for attendant's, judi.
HelloKit: er... attendants
Mooooooo: free rent for her and her kid and a small wage
Dancer: That is also my problem, money.
judi: But, my husband has a good job, just not good enough to afford the rates they charge
beetlebug: i think it would be neat to a disabled person to teach people not to throw money at these problems
Jody: some insurance companies will pay for attendants. my mom worked for a home-care organization.
judi: It cost about $8-9/hr for a sitter
Dancer: they don't have group homes around here for physically-only challenged people.
Mooooooo: wow
judi: That was gonna be our next step last go round, home health, but you still have to pay for your own sitter, ins doesn't cover it
beetlebug: i mean some people think it takes $100.00 for a 50 cent solution
judi: I don't follow you beetle
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beetlebug: well if they would ask the person their helping that persons point of veiw
Jody: all the home aides that my mother's company sent out were paid for by insurance... maybe you need an aide that is certified or something...
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judi: By the way, any females here know an easy way to get a bra on when you can't get reach behind you at all
andie1: web ket...
andie1: wb
Mimi: wb ket :o)
Mooooooo: wb :o)
beetlebug: and just maybe that person has a solution to the big problem
Jody: front-close bras
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ket: thanks
HelloKit: I know someone who has a live-in attendant/friend who works in exchange for room-and-board... and she has another attendant come in a few times a day to help out, her Medicaid pays for that one.
judi: Aides can't stay all day though
Mimi: close it in front and then twist it around you until the clasp's in back :o)
Dancer: current question?
judi: Carly, that is a possibility, we have an empty upstairs
HelloKit: judi: In regard to bras... how about sports bras that you pull over your head?
Jody: some college students majoring in medicine or nursing look for live-in situations....
judi: I'm fixing to embarras myself but, well, I'm a wee bit large in that area so comfort does not always come in handy styles
HelloKit: heh
judi: That's a good idea Jody
HelloKit: Is anyone considering making a move into independent living in the not-too-distant future?
Jody: judi: try front-close bras.... Warner's makes a nice one that fits larger gals like us
* HelloKit raises her hand.
Dancer: I'm with you Judy.
Jody: ME!!!!
judi: ok, thanks
Dancer: Me. Hopefully in spring.
Jody: brb
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* Mooooooo is out on his own in Dallas
ket: hi tybee
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tybee: hiya, ket and all
HelloKit: What kinds of issues are you facing when you move?
gb_gal: hi tybee
andie1: wb susan
Susan: hey -- Mooooooo -- you ar ein Dallas now?
Mooooooo: not yet
Dancer: Does anyone have ideas on smooth transitions, people wise? I.e. how to leave without making parents uncomfortable and new people uncomfortable?
Mooooooo: just having nothing and nobody
Dancer: This will be my first venture
Mooooooo: its very scary
gb_gal: good luck dancer
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HelloKit: Dancer... you could be like me and hang around so long that they can't wait for you to leave ;o)
beetlebug: not to mention the guilty
judi: Its hard for parents to let go anyway, but I'm sure its magnified with a diabled child
Dancer: your talking to someone that can't do a lot for herself.
Dancer: No kidding.
judi: Are you going to have help, Dancer
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Dancer: Yes, probably an adult foster care situation.
HelloKit: Hi steve :o) Current question is: What kinds of issues are you facing when you move?
steveH: hello
judi: Oh, have you met the foster family yet?
Red_: getting people to help with moving!
gb_gal: hi steve
*** JodyAway is now known as Jody
andie1: wb jody
gb_gal: wb jody
steveH: hi gb_gal
Jody: thank you....
Mimi: I have to go guys...have an early plane in the morning
gb_gal: how are ya steve??
gb_gal: have fun in vegas mimi!!!!
HelloKit: I worry about how to handle being left alone... I know my bf isn't going to be able to stay home with me all the time.
steveH: doing pretty good, you?
judi: where ya going mimi
beetlebug: see ya
Jody: ooohhh..... have a great time. Will we see you here this week?
ket: mimi have a great time!!!!
* HelloKit hugs Mimi!!!
Mimi: to Vegas, but I'll be back online in a couple days :o)
* Jody hugs the stuffing out of Mimi
Mimi: thanks everyone!
judi: have fun
* Mimi just hugs everyone :o)
Susan: night Mimi
ket: bye mimi
Mimi: bye!!
gb_gal: bye mimi
Jody: Have a great time!!!
*** Mimi has left irc (Leaving)
judi: Carly, have you ever stayed alone at all?
Dancer: not met anyone yet. Still working on talking to people about it. (read parents)
HelloKit: Yes, but not for long periods of time.
beetlebug: oh yes!
judi: Understand Dancer
Jody: judi: acknowledge private chat, please
HelloKit: It's like, if I'm alone and I have to go to the bathroom, I'm up the creek......
judi: See, that's my problem, hubby can't be here all the time
judi: How do I do that Jody
gb_gal: steve...did you get my private message?
steveH: yes, how do you send one?
HelloKit: Jody: judi is using the java chat, she can't do DCC chat
Jody: it should ask you if you want to acknowleged... do you see a little button on the bottom of your screen?
Jody: oh... okay then
gb_gal: steve...are you using java chat?
Dancer: I'm 20. Am I the youngest here?
* HelloKit is 18.
tybee: :)
steveH: it is a java script, but not java chat
gb_gal: nope..20 also
Red_: yikes!
* Mooooooo is old
ket: lol
gb_gal: steve...did my message come up in a little box on the bottom of the screen/
* Red_ is old also
beetlebug: how old is old
steveH: steve is old
Mooooooo: gb, steve is in Java chat
steveH: no
gb_gal: steve...then double click on my name
Mooooooo: SteveH - [email protected] - #Disabled Channel User
Mooooooo: next question carly :o)
* HelloKit can't think of one... :o/
ket: lol
Mooooooo: ok
Mooooooo: i have one
HelloKit: k go for it
Mooooooo: How do you all plan to get around when you move out. transportation?
* HelloKit can't think, period.
ket: :)
Mooooooo: think 'comma' then
HelloKit: lol
ket: that is a problem
ket: rides
Mooooooo: How do you all plan to get around when you move out. transportation.
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Mooooooo: official
ket: that dont show
Red_: I drive
Jody: I drive too
Dancer: dial a ride. If they go on until then.
Red_: with my left foot
Dancer: Lucky.
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Jody: you okay, judi?
Mooooooo: how about a hands-only car
HelloKit: We have a junker Pontiac that will get us around town, and if we have to go out of town we trade with my mom for her van.
Red_: yes, I feel lucky
* HelloKit doesn't drive yet.
judi: I am such a computer geek
HelloKit: But my bf does.
Dancer: My startle reflex is too bad.
beetlebug: same here
Jody: it gets easier after awhile...
Mooooooo: my friend Ahalam had a car with hand controlls only since she had no legs
Jody: hope that info helps you....
judi: hope so
judi: it will, thanks
HelloKit: Hey... Sierra has a new computer program out called Driver's Ed. It comes with a steering wheel and simulates driver's training.
judi: I can't drive anymore
HelloKit: It's only $40 too.
Mooooooo: cool :o)
* HelloKit wants it for X-mas... hint, hint
HelloKit: hehe... just kidding
ket: lol
Jody: lol.... nice try
Mooooooo: my mom needs one called 'back seat driver'
Jody: LOL
HelloKit: lol
judi: lol
Mooooooo: practice screaming into the microphone
Jody: I have a request for information....
judi: what
Mooooooo: ok
HelloKit: With that I could teach myself to drive... then when I can afford a van it won't be so hard to learn to drive it.
Jody: where do I find a catalog that supplies things that can be used to make living in your house easier...
Mooooooo: carly has catalogs
Jody: such as.... door handles, gadgets that open things, etc
Jody: you do Carly?
Red_: I have to go people, I'm glad I could be at a meeting
HelloKit: Mooooooo is referring to an inside joke... sort of. But I could probably find you some.
Red_: goodnight
Mooooooo: i would try a web search for Assistive Technology
beetlebug: see ya red
gb_gal: bye red!!
Jody: I know they're out there... I just don't know where to look
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judi: Jody, Sears has a catalogue called, 'For Your Special Needs'
beetlebug: you might look under automation
Jody: thanks.... I'll call them
judi: I have had several different ones, I'll look up the names and addresses for you if you want them
Jody: I mostly need hardware type stuff. Door handles... like that
Jody: sure, judi, that would be great. my address is [email protected]
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judi: The Arthritis Today magazine always has ads for them in the back
Mooooooo: hi david
Jody: really? I'll have to look. I have that mag.
Kainx: dan! goodness it's been a long time :)
judi: I'll write tomorrow
Kainx: how have ya been ?
Jody: thanks!
beetlebug: a catalog called Health house might some thing for you
Jody: do you have RA, judi?
judi: I've gotten some goodies out of Carol Wright or Harriet Carter cat
judi: yes
Jody: so do I....
judi: plus a few other itises
beetlebug: you can get real good ideas from those
Jody: :) I just have the one itis. It's enough
judi: no kiddin!!!!
Jody: thank you, beetlebug. I look it up
judi: Where can you get Health House
Dancer: current question?
beetlebug: look in cataloglink.com
Jody: brb
judi: thanks
* HelloKit has one more question...
beetlebug: shoot
Mooooooo: okay carly
HelloKit: Is there any advice you can give to someone looking to become independent?
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Mooooooo: move to another state
Mooooooo: assume a new identty
Mooooooo: denise :o)
judi: Gets lots of info first
Amazin1: Hi all :)
judi: hi denise
tybee: hiya, Amaz
HelloKit: Hi Amazin1 :o) Current question is: Is there any advice you can give to someone looking to become independent?
beetlebug: don't let anyone discourage you ,remember their not in your shoes
steveH: What is the situation?
judi: Daniel, are you trying to give your mom a heart attack?
Amazin1: it takes lots of determination and persistence
Mooooooo: lol
beetlebug: tell me about it
judi: I think each one of us has our own needs, I would think those needs who have to be attended to and the best weapon against failure would be 'having all your bases covered'
beetlebug: but that's what makes us stronger than most folks
Jody: I just need the money to move out....
judi: they call it 'stubborn' down my way beetle
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Amazin1: :) judi
beetlebug: i hear you
judi: Jody, that was Penny's not Sears
Jody: jc penny.... good. got one near by.
Jody: thankks
Jody: my 'stubborness' when it comes to indenpendence drives my family nuts
tybee: :)
judi: Money is the problem we all run into. Add the words disabled to anything and the price jumps sky high
HelloKit: All, I hate to leave so suddenly, but I'm feeling rather ill...
HelloKit: I'll see you all later.
Jody: actually.... even iif I wasn't disabled I couldn't afford rent.
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Mooooooo: bye Carly :o)
Jody: hope she's okay
judi: me too
Mooooooo: she will be okay :o)
beetlebug: well i got mixed messages when i was growingup some people stessed independence and other shoed pity
Mooooooo: pity sucks
beetlebug: excuse me showed
Mooooooo: go for independance
beetlebug: tell me ,that make me boil
Dancer: a... same here, bug.
judi: My husband is a lot older than I am and he constantly worries about dying before me and how I will survive. I gotta go too, Chicago Hope is coming on
Mooooooo: see ya Judi :o)
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Jody: enjoy it... goodnight Judi
beetlebug: see ya
Jody: my family just feels that if they are around, I should feel comfortable asking them for help.
Jody: I usually insist on doing it myself, even if it is more difficult.
Mooooooo: Jody, if you need help, ask for it. but if you can do it on your own, even hard as it is, do it
beetlebug: well family is one thing and then there are other people
Jody: I don't have a problem that way... I can hide my disability. Which leads to other problems, of course.
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Mooooooo: what is your disability?
gb_gal: hi phil
Jody: are you asking me, Dan?
Amazin1: Moo, you type faster than I do :)
Mooooooo: yep
Mooooooo: hehe
Jody: I thought you knew.... I have a bad case of RA.
beetlebug: hy phil
Jody: mostly knees, but my hands are getting bad now too. So's my neck and back.
Jody: ping me
beetlebug: well,I'm going to have to cut out guys
Mooooooo: see ya beetle
Jody: thanks for the info beetlebug.
Jody: night
PHIL: seeya
beetlebug: no problemo
Mooooooo: sorry, Jody. I read Judi :o)
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gb_gal: hi phil!
Dancer: current question?
Jody: she's got RA too
Jody: I think we're finished Dancer....