PeR0XiDe: i cant seem to hit the w key...
PeR0XiDe: i am
Lonewolf: lol its contagious
atrpilot: i have called this meeting 2 night for yuall to wish me HAPPY NEW YEAR and send as much money as possible!!!!!!
Lily: at end, suze, sure
Lonewolf: lol charlie
PeR0XiDe: i always give up on cleanin out my closet, cuz i usually have nowhere else to put the stuff
Lonewolf: I thought tonight we would clean out our closets
Kark: me tooP
Lonewolf: our emotional baggage from last year
Lonewolf: some have improved some gotten worse etc
Woz: quess that means i got to go
Lonewolf: a change of the year is often a time when one reviews the past year and frequently becomes depressd
Lonewolf: unmet expectations, that sort of thing
suze: yes, i can feel some of that
Lonewolf: anyone have any earth shattering experiences?
PeR0XiDe: o god
suze: i am not where i would like to be with certain parts of my life
PeR0XiDe: emotional baggage from last year
Lonewolf: how so suze
PeR0XiDe: i got a migrane from it when i let that out
PeR0XiDe: wasnt much fun
suze: well...I'm still by myself, that is, I'm not in a relationship
suze: and i really want to be
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Lonewolf: any prospects?
PeR0XiDe: same here....
suze: yes, there is someone but hasn't gone anywhere yet
Lonewolf: how old are u suze
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PeR0XiDe: only girls that seem to like me always end up bein under 18 tho
suze: i think that that is the one area of my life that i am frustrated with
atrpilot: i love you hon
Kark: Mine brought me to this group this year, thank you all
Lonewolf: how old are u perox
Lonewolf: ur welcome Karen
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suze: and because of my age, i am more concerned about wanting to marry and start a family while i stlll can
suze: thx charlie
Ais: is it someone that lives close you to you sue?
Lonewolf: biological clock ticking
Mooooooo: i thought you were married, suze?
suze: my biological clock
suze: no, mooo
suze: yes, he lives in my city
Lonewolf: what about your health suze
Ais: that's a bonus then
wacky: I wish i could have kids
Mooooooo: yeah, airfare is less
suze: it has improved somewhat since a year ago
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Lily: i am lucky, i found my soulmate, here on channel
suze: i am ok with my progress
Lonewolf: what about u perox
wacky: :) lily
PeR0XiDe: ok i guess
Kark: You know I used to be very hung up on the ticking b clock but I think that is passing
Lonewolf: your health this year
suze: it's really the relationship that seems to be the only piece missing from my life
haa: would you like mine Brian? :):):) jk
Lily: lol, no wacky:)
PeR0XiDe: only got bronchitus 1 time this year
suze: i am happy with everything else in my life
Lonewolf: we have several romances that started in here this year
Kark: me too Suze
wacky: actually derek wld be easy helen carla wld be the hard one
Lily: im so happy, i glow
Kark: like Mooooooo
PeR0XiDe: my deppression came back once this year, then went away..
Lonewolf: and laura and lil and wacky
Lonewolf: did we help any?
Lily: with us???
wacky: best thing abt this year... I am not afraid of disabled ppl any more
PeR0XiDe: its mostly caused by my dad
Kark: yes wacky me too
suze: u were afraid of D?
Lonewolf: I'm sorry perox
Lonewolf: is everything better
Lily: good per
PeR0XiDe: i stopped smokin pot
Lonewolf: and ais got married
Lonewolf: great news
Kark: I never thought I would ever look to other disabled people for help befor this year, is that stupid or what
wacky: yes sue I was forced to live in a world where Dis was a taboo subject.... u fear that which u do not understand
Lonewolf: dony hi wanna share your good or bad this year
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wacky: karen it was actually smart idea
suze: i found this channel this past year :)
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suze: that's been a great thing for me
wacky: and the icing on my cake was lily
Driveshaf: i'm thinking
Lily: so ppl here have helped each other??
Lonewolf: everyone tat found and loves disabled this year makes us all feel warm and happy
atrpilot: amen sweety
Kark: Smart that I turned to other dis, stupid that I thought I shouldn't
PeR0XiDe: kark: no, alot of ppl think that way, its just dependant on the way u look at things.... how is someone sposed to help you, if they arent disabled, and they have no idea what you are going through>gt;
Lonewolf: very intuitive perox
Kark: but I guess I did some growing up
wacky: karen u hit nail on head
Lonewolf: I've seen people really change this year
Lily: u didm kark
anny1: i am glad to ave survived my mother-in-laws move to my city and glad to have found this group
Lonewolf: like you kark
Lily: have u sis?
Lonewolf: you are more open now
Lonewolf: and suze
Lonewolf: so are you
Kark: :) thanks, (for the good I hope)
wacky: i have seen judi change
suze: yes, that's true
PeR0XiDe: im open, jus usually get this thought that no one wants to hear it, so i dun talk about it much,,
wacky: she more willing to turn to ppl for help
Lonewolf: hate to pick on laura but she really has changed a lot
Lonewolf: yes bri
Lily: i guess we all have grownm
Lonewolf: perox-always want to hear
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Lonewolf: remember how angry she was when she first came?
wacky: and I bet moooooo dont think i am a hot head any more lol
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Kark: mutual admiration Society
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Lonewolf: now she is very happy
Lily: i have new best friend in judi, and new best man in wacky:)))
Lonewolf: I want to share something with you
wacky: I learned how to trust agian
Lonewolf: wy I changed the topc
Lily: did u bri??
Lonewolf: a member described to me flashbacks of a car accident
Lonewolf: while grasping for help-she literally could not go on channel and say I need help
Lonewolf: another has an accident anniversary coming up and she is having flashbacks
Lonewolf: anyone here have a problem with that?
wacky: ever yr
PeR0XiDe: i dont....
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Lonewolf: please explain for us
wacky: every year I relive my injury the time around it every detail
Lonewolf: ok how many of u ar disabled due to accidents?
Woz: i am in part
wacky: from when i left house to what i did to the incident and the last thing I felt
Lily: brian, what made youtrust again???
PeR0XiDe: but i dont see the reason behind accident anniversaries, when all you want to do is forget what happened, why put urself through the torment of that every year? whats wrong with just trying to forget?
Lonewolf: ok guys
anny1: how long as it been wacky?
Kark: I hope that we all can feel comfortable to let it out when they need too
Lonewolf: can u just forget?
Woz: some things you never forget
wacky: 14 yrs
PeR0XiDe: i can...
PeR0XiDe: but im not saying everyone can
Lonewolf: forget or repress?
Lily: brian, what made youtrust again???
Kark: forget P?
PeR0XiDe: probably mean repress
Lonewolf: when that happens it follows you
Lonewolf: so lets clean out the closet this year
wacky: I cant mine was two day be4 my 15 b-day and mine is lil diff than most mine is from abuse
Lonewolf: for those of us with disease related disabilities
Lonewolf: does this time of year make you review?
suze: not an issue for me, mine is due to illness
Kark: Sure it does
wacky: actually lily it was ui and judy and most of all laura
Lily: yes, i have anniversary, mar 1st
PeR0XiDe: im kinda lost..
Lonewolf: dony what about you
Woz: ps: tina thinks the world of judi
Lonewolf: why perox
PeR0XiDe: what are we talking about?
Lonewolf: thanks max but tina is part of why I picked this subject
Driveshaf: 8 long years
Kark: this time of year makes everyone reflect on your accomplishments of defeats
Lonewolf: since accident dony?
Driveshaf: no flash backs
Kark: or not of
Lonewolf: true karen
Lonewolf: Heidi I know you suffered a big loss this year
PeR0XiDe: i c now..
Lonewolf: long time dony
wacky: u know what was best abt this year?? I met my 1 sister for the first time in 14 yrs
Ais: yes judi
Lonewolf: and a very happy occassion
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Driveshaf: feels longer
Lonewolf: debi we are reviewing
wacky: she was only 14 mos old at the time of the incident
Kark: I celebrate New Years on Superbowl Sunday so I get over the Post Christmas blues before I allow myself to set net years goals
Lonewolf: good idea
*** suze has left irc (suze)
Lily: the best part for me was meeting judi and wacky
Kark: Noone I know understands that
Lonewolf: come on daniel
Lonewolf: you have had big change
wacky: karen I picked a new day for my bday
Lonewolf: anny what about u
Kark: Thats next
Lonewolf: Debi what about u?
Secrets: what is the ?
anny1: yes well
PeR0XiDe: i have a habbit of holding all of my feelings inside, i dont cry at funerals, when some1 i know dies, i dont feel bad about it, but im not happy either, i just kind of feel numb, and hold the feelings in, until it all gets built up, and then my temper gets shorter, i end up havin a fight with someone over nothing, and then i let it out, thats part of why im deppressed, and thats why they call it chronic deppression, because its not a constant
Lonewolf: changes in past year
PeR0XiDe: and then it all comes back
anny1: i am happy that i survived my mother-in-law's move to my town
Secrets: its been a tough year, big changes, loss of walking and bearing my weight, wheelchair, stuff like that
Lonewolf: perox you can talk to me anytime
Lily: lol, anny
Lonewolf: understand anny
wacky: judi listens good
Woz: very good
Lily: very good
wacky: can I say something
PeR0XiDe: and theres no cure for it, the drugs the doctors give me dont help, if they do, my body gets a tolerance against it, and they take me off of it, illegal drugs seemed to help, when instead they were just covering it up
wacky: judi this for u
Kark: Peroxide I will listen too
Lily: yes wacky
Lonewolf: what wacky
wacky: i am so proud of u have learned u dont always have to be the one helping and that it is ok to need to lean on someone
Lily: he typing
Lonewolf: Debi you have suffered a big loss
wacky: i type slow
Lonewolf: thanks brian
wacky: welcome mamma
PeR0XiDe: wacky: ull get faster, i went from 30 wpm to 80 this year
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Kark: I went to disney for vacation and I think it might be my last vacation on my feet
Secrets: but I really am happy :o) just trying to deal with it and having my family ok. I worry about my husband mostly, the cost is awful and we have no insurance with his brand new job
Lonewolf: Debi I kno but they don't would you share your atitude with everyone?
Lonewolf: oh Karen
wacky: per i am fast if u realize i type with one hand and that i am a quad
Secrets: well, I feel that no matter what, I cannot let myself get down
Lonewolf: yes bri
Lonewolf: I like what u told me Mandy said
Lily: wacky, u type much faster than me
Secrets: I want to relearn to write and I have a dream to get to Washington and walk on the beach and Paint one last picture!
PeR0XiDe: didnt know that
PeR0XiDe: i type slower than hell with one hand
Kark: I am getty mixed you with names and user IDs
wacky: i do 35-40 wrds a min
Lonewolf: Raven are u here?
* wacky is brian
Secrets: ohh, Mandy reminded me I told her to never give up and she wouldnt let me. her smile is too contagious to turn away from ;o)
Lonewolf: what about you this year?
* PeR0XiDe is james..
Lily: im alison
^Raven^: hmmmmmmm...........took a step
Lonewolf: charlie shared such a wonderful message with us at Thanksgiving
Lonewolf: what was that?
^Raven^: i'm here
PeR0XiDe: think he/she was talkin bout us telling each other our real names
* wacky perks ears
Lonewolf: He showed us the reason to keep going
Lonewolf: what about u max?
wacky: ok mouskateers
^Raven^: salam judi
anny1: lol brian
Lonewolf: It has not been a good year for me at all but you guys have kept me going many times and I want to thank you for that
Kark: thanks all
Lily: we all help each other
Secrets: we llvoe yu o judo
Kark: I hope I remember
Lonewolf: well, I think e could do more
wacky: well I cant think of a hilite of yur yr judi
wacky: I got to meet u
Lonewolf: yes made new friends
Lonewolf: health is failing though
wacky: sorry hun
Secrets: Jud i have a /
Woz: never 2 old 2 learn vave met many beautifull
wacky: but still u had some hilites
Lonewolf: it disturbed me that the person I mentioned was afraid to talk in the open
Lily: u did, judi
Woz: me 2 judi
Lonewolf: yes deb?
Kark: They will in time
haa: This year I finally adjusted to not working and making/meeting new friends thru internet and chat session :):)
wacky: they do now
Kark: coming here is a start
Secrets: any1 scaredd ?
wacky: helen and I good pals
PeR0XiDe: judi: maybe she doesnt trust people very easily..
Lonewolf: big change in life attitude haa
anny1: it's ok judi not everybody is ready t share at the same time
Lily: judi, you never stopped supporting me and choices i made
haa: i like you too brian :):)
wacky: glad I know helen and MM aint bad either
Lonewolf: wants to but afraid she will be ridiculed
Kark: LW is slways good that way
atrpilot: you mean me LW?
Kark: bye Raven
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PeR0XiDe: lw: yeah
Lonewolf: I would really like to see our support panel take off this year
Woz: k judi got it
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Lonewolf: no charlie
PeR0XiDe: either that, or maybe she questions the security of the channel
simone1: hi :)
wacky: hey simone
Lonewolf: good point perox
Kark: hi simone
Lonewolf: hi simone
simone1: hello :)
Lonewolf: so anyone anting to serve on a support type panel let me know
Secrets: judi is any1 scared atr timess
PeR0XiDe: ill do it
Kark: how dose it work/
anny1: important thing is that they shared with someone, judi it was acompliment to you that they chose you
Lonewolf: well hopefully we can pair up people with disabilities
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Lonewolf: experienced with non experienced etc
anny1: soundds like a good idea
Lonewolf: people needing support ith people with similiar conditions
Woz: Ch you are teaching someone to land
Kark: this person might have went to get something to eat and left the PC on lol
PeR0XiDe: secrets: ?
Lonewolf: oh no
Lonewolf: she's having a seizure
Secrets: this is Jim, Debi needs to leave
wacky: ok be well
Secrets: thank you
Lonewolf: keep us posted
*** Secrets has left irc (Another day, another smile, it was soooo worth it!)
Kark: oh no
anny1: how gracious of her husband to let us know
wacky: judi we gotta slow down ali cant keep up
Lonewolf: thing is people on support panel have to be for real-and willing to provide open ear
Lonewolf: not especially advice
wacky: she getting frustrated
Lonewolf: Karen its common
Lonewolf: Jim will take care of her
Kark: it seem scary
Ais: yes, at least she's not alone
Lonewolf: I called her last time it happened
Lonewolf: family is used to it
PeR0XiDe: i have a friend that has them
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wacky: I love u judi wish my bio mom was like u
Lonewolf: secrets is having trouble buying meds right now
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Lonewolf: thank u bri
Lonewolf: hi baby
Kark: I am willing to help on panel too
wacky: u care abt ppl judi
PeR0XiDe: judi: ill do it
CindyB: yes she truly does Bri
anny1: if i ever have seizure on line don't worry
Kark: no denying thatt
PeR0XiDe: hiya cindy
Lonewolf: please e-mail me with your most comfortable area etc
Lonewolf: why anny
wacky: THINDY how was ur year?
Lonewolf: careful bri-she'll puke on ya
wacky: i have had seizures online it scarey
CindyB: Well Bri, I'm healthy, my kids are healthy, I have a wonderful family and wonderful inlaws, guess it is pretty great.
Lonewolf: which brings up another point
wacky: eeewwww yuck cyber-barf!
Lonewolf: you are lying out your butt
CindyB: well we are all sick as dogs
anny1: becouse i have seizures sometimes and it is not abig deal for me
Lonewolf: 2 sick kids one with pne
CindyB: but we are here...hahahaha
Lily: i here, but watching, screen move too fast
CindyB: hi cyber sis
anny1: usually not grand mal
Lonewolf: ok dear
Lonewolf: ok anny
wacky: anny i had em this summer it scared me
simone1: talking to me cindy? :)
CindyB: Yes simone
wacky: i had peteit mal
* simone1 realizes she came in joking again :(
Lonewolf: personally I ouldn't mind anyone feeling they may need help giving ops phone numbers in case of emergency
anny1: yes i ocassionally have petit mal, have you had before wacky?
Lonewolf: so if anyone feels the need to do so please do
Lily: i made notes, anny, when wacky had seizures on channel
Lonewolf: several of you have my number-all the ops do
wacky: mine where caused by meds anny
wacky: was having many a day
Lonewolf: except you daniel
Lonewolf: please let someone know if you need help
anny1: yes that can be scarey if not used to them
wacky: but was fine before and am fine now
Lonewolf: we have strayed guys
Lily: i so glad
wacky: but off all meds
wacky: sorry mamma
Lonewolf: max I really wud like to hear about your year
* wacky hangs head
Lonewolf: off subject sis
anny1: sorry for the diversion
Lily: i cant read anyways
wacky: oh god I am dating my aunt!
Lonewolf: not diversion anny-important
Lily: no love, not aunt
simone1: uh, do we have to talk about closets?
Lonewolf: you do have a large one
Woz: i have many new ppl and this chat is the primary reason i am on the net
Lonewolf: love having you with us max
* anny1 checking closet for skeletons
Lonewolf: simone pulling out steamer trunk of a closet
Woz: hugs woolfie
Lonewolf: Helen I'm glad u shared
simone1: judi: my closet is a TARDIS!
Lonewolf: I never realized you had just made that adjustment
PeR0XiDe: mine's a warehouse
CindyB: I have to go, bed time...just wanted to say hi and I miss you guys...love ya
* wacky found skeleton, so that what that smell is!
CindyB: Night mom
Lonewolf: maybe we all need to be a little more open-but there is that security issue
Lonewolf: night babe
PeR0XiDe: nite cindy
simone1: actually mine can be described as a huge underground bunker with a killer cyborg gaurding the entrance.
*** CindyB has left irc (Leaving)
haa: lol simone
Lonewolf: that's why I thought the support panel might help provide a bit of security
Kark: how is that?
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Lonewolf: ell people on the support panel will be screened for things like empathy and caring attitude etc
wacky: gott ago mamma, hugs bye love
Lonewolf: bye hon
Woz: count me in
Kark: bye wacky
Lily: bye sweetie
Kark: Oh I see
PeR0XiDe: cya brian
wacky: i am drained energy at zip
simone1: helen: it's true! and a massive cryogenic system as well to keep the primary system shut down.
Lonewolf: what Karen?
Woz: bye wacky
anny1: gotta pass the emphaty IQ test
Kark: I was thinking different security
Lonewolf: the fakes?
wacky: be good all
PeR0XiDe: whats empathy? sympathy?
Lonewolf: you too
simone1: fakes? don't get me started :)
anny1: bye brian
Lonewolf: empathy is the ability to put yourself in another's place and understand
wacky: empathy = is with emotional support