Created by and for people with physical disabilities.

Sex and Disabilities

Feb 11, 1998

This is an archival transcript of one of our past meetings. We don't have scheduled topical meetings anymore, but we're not opposed to the idea of bringing them back if someone is willing to commit to hosting them on a "long term" basis.

Participants already present:
  Mooooooo ([email protected])
  jrt ([email protected])
  HelloKit ([email protected])
  Mimi ([email protected])
Angie1: I MEAN 9PM
browser: hi jrt
*** elizabeth has joined #Disabled
jrt: Sarahs not here shed have the cleanest hands:)
Mimi: hi Jo!!
jrt: hi elizabeth:)
Mimi: hey lisa
HelloKit: Right now, Angie :o)
phoenyxx: I suggest a topic change :-)
HelloKit: Jo :o)
Jo: Me erdy and a guy from Canada have all been talking together on a little place all our own. I just came in on Java and found you are all here and we aren't.
judi: Hi Jo,elizabeth
elizabeth: hello jrt, how are you
jrt: Jo,jo,jo,jo,jo,jo,
elizabeth: hi judi
Angie1: hay how come your names all show up and mine angie1 does not ?
jrt: great elizabeth:) and you?
HelloKit: It does on our screens, Angie.
Mooooooo: Angie, it does
phoenyxx: angie, I see your name on my screen
Mimi: we can see your name angie
gregsgg: yep
Jo: Mooooooo this way I can not do any type of highlights would you like me to go ahead with questions.
judi: Me too
elizabeth: pretty good, busy
jrt: elizabeth can i get your e mail before you leave?
Mooooooo: yes Jo
Angie1: oh ok see in other chat rooms it shows up on my screen to here it does not that why i asked
elizabeth: sure, but i would have to look it up, i don't know it by heart jrt
Jo: The Meeting will begin:
gregsgg: angie we all see you dont worry
Angie1: ok what is this meeting i have never been to one of your metting how does it work?
Jo: If your handicap causes severe pain when attempting normal sex have you asked your doctor about alternative positions/methods?
* phoenyxx will lurk this time :-)
gregsgg: yep
judi: Yea, he turned purple
Jo: I will ask questions and you all kick in opinions and suggestions.
Angie1: I HAVE never had sex so cwhat can I do in this meetting?
jrt: I must be lagging???
Jo: Angie learn.
Angie1: oh ok
gregsgg: yep
Mimi: angie, listen and learn
HelloKit: Everyone, Jo is our guest host tonight, so please give her the attention you would normally give me (hahaha) :o)
Jo: judi you say he turned purple, did he answer you?
Mimi: lol
elizabeth: is this a serious discussion:-)
jrt: I dont have a problem here:)
judi: No, just stuttered around and said, well that can be an important issue
jrt: yes elizabeth:)
Mooooooo: Why did he turn purple?
Jo: Well if he won't answer you ask him to refer you to a doctor that will. This is a very important part of your life and you don't have to give it up.
*** Ray-1 has joined #disabled
*** browser has left irc (Ping timeout for browser cisco7-172.cas.golden.net])
judi: He's younger than I am
elizabeth: great, jrt, it is great to talk about
HelloKit: Well aren't doctors supposed to be able to talk to their patients about these things?
jrt: because he was a male doctor being asked by a female patient?
Angie1: Can you change the topic in here?
judi: probably that too
gregsgg: no
phoenyxx: angie: good suggestion!
jrt: Hi Ray:)
Jo: If he is younger he should have less hangups, but he is a male and like jrt said that causes problems for females wanting help.
judi: Hi Ray
Ray-1: Hi, all.
*** browser has joined #disabled
phoenyxx: angie: no kidding!
elizabeth: any doctor should be able to answer that question
Jo: We sat through discussion that only were about your problems, now you get to sit through them on what we feel important.
jrt: why its only naturel
Mooooooo: If its a doctor, i dont see why it would be a problem
jrt: natural
gregsgg: go to another channel and come back later
Jo: Discussion of sexual issues being ingnored by many docs, for handicapped is important.
Jo: Problem is they all specialize now and many will not talk to you but refer you to someone else.
judi: I think so too Jo
phoenyxx: Jo: I don't embarrass easily but I've had doctors try to ask me about it but it came across more like
jrt: no reason to get embarassed about it:)
Angie1: phonenyxx give me your e-mail adress I think mabey we could be e-mail pals and talk about other things then sex I for one have never had sex and plane not to til i am married
phoenyxx: macho posturing than a medical discussion. needless to say I was slightly offended.
elizabeth: it is an important part of life, find another doctor
Mooooooo: Ive had both female and make doctors
elizabeth: moo so have i , i prefer female
phoenyxx: angie: hold on don't bail out yet...
jrt: I prefer amle
jrt: male
Jo: Why do you prefer a female doc elizabth?
Jo: and jrt why a male?
Angie1: phonenyxx can i get your e-mail adress please I think we would be great e-mail friends?
phoenyxx: perhaps I'm weird but I've been more comfortable talking about personal issues with a female doctor over a male one.
elizabeth: because they understand and seem to be more empathetic, it is business
phoenyxx: angie: [email protected]
HelloKit: Angie: Sex is only the topic of tonight's meeting; this isn't a pervert chat room or anything. But the issue of sex with a disability is important to many.
judi: I've had both, neither wanted to discuss it
jrt: most female doctors down here anu/yway, tend to look down there noses and be less sympathic to another female
Angie1: phoenyxx when is your b-day just wondering
elizabeth: jrt, than i guess i have been lucky
phoenyxx: interesting jrt,..never thought about it.
Mimi: Angie, no one is promoting fornication, this is important for married couples too
phoenyxx: angie: July 27th
Jo: Will your doctors give you information and discuss alternate sex methods with you. Example, different positioning for comfort, oral sex to stimulate male erections, or machines or meds to do this, creams or hormones to make sex more comfortable.
Jo: Phoenyxx and Angie please take your personal discussion elsewhere and let us have a meeting.
elizabeth: one of mine did jo, and it happened to be a he
Mooooooo: My doctor once suggested a prostitute but I refuse to go that far
jrt: never asked him, but I dont see why he wouldn't, pretty open and easy going doctor
*** zippy has joined #disabled
Mimi: hello zippy
jrt: I don't blame you daniel
judi: I learned more on my own, research
Jo: Good elizabeth, it is very important . Mooooooo everytime you sleep with someone your sleep with all their partners. Good thinking on your part.
jrt: Hi zippy:)
judi: hello, Zippy
Jo: Hi Zippy welcome to our meeting.
gregsgg: had both neither were good or bad its the individual Network individual and how comfortable they are with the subject
Mooooooo: Well Im staying a virgin until im married
judi: Safest way
zippy: thanx
Jo: There are a few good books on the subject. But they aren't easy to come by.
elizabeth: good for you moo, i am until the next time, kind of a born again virgin
jrt: well good for yopu Daniel, pity more guys dont have that type of attitude:)
zippy: Hi
jrt: brb phone:)
Jo: Ok we aren't getting into moral issues tonight. We are trying to help those who need answers on this issue.
Mimi: it's called secondary virginity lisa :o)
zippy: =^)
*** Amazin1 has joined #disabled
Mimi: hey denise :o
Mimi: )
Jo: elizabeth they can sew it back up surgically and make you one again.
judi: Hi denise
elizabeth: jo, you must be kidding
Mooooooo: there is a book i saw online about sex and disabilities
*** Angie1 has left irc (Angie1)
gregsgg: JRT what kind of attitude is that? It is it more important that you have satisfied your partner or satisfied yourself?
Mooooooo: cant recall the title
Jo: Now second question. Have you ever considered sexual therapy classes geared for the handicapped.
*** Angie1 has joined #Disabled
Amazin1: hiya :)
zippy: bye
zippy: =^)
Ray-1: I like that term, Mimi.
*** zippy has left #disabled
browser: I was offered that once, too embarrased to go through with it
Jo: Some hospitals make this a regular part of your rehabilitative therapy. Did yours?
*** Angie1 has left irc (Angie1)
Mooooooo: Jo, I think it may come to that for me
elizabeth: you know sex with someone you care for is the most wonderful gift in the world
Mooooooo: not so much for therapy, but dealing with positioning and back problems
Jo: browser, the only stupid question is the one not asked. If it will help you I encourage you to try it.
*** TRACTOR has joined #Disabled
phoenyxx: ...something I'd like to ask, hope it's not out of line here.....
Jo: Mooooooo made a good point, positioning. How to do something without injuring yourself further or do it comfortably.
TRACTOR: caps off pat
Jo: Many men trying to do 'missionary position' will get so much pain they will lose their erection.
gregsgg: Joe what about having your partner seek the 'They feel so overwhelmed with your disability?
jrt: sorry back again:)
jrt: hello to everybody who has joined:)
Mooooooo: um, what exactly is 'missionary position'?
Mimi: it's the classic horizontal with guy on top
Ray-1: What about guys with weak arms?
Mooooooo: ah ok
Jo: gregg, your parter is afraid to have sex beacuse they might hurt you or unwilling to cooperate in achieving erection?
elizabeth: moo, if you are a virgin, and the first time is with a loved one, you will work through it, because the emotional connection will outway the physical
phoenyxx: or lower spine problems ie extreme pain...?
TRACTOR: good liz
Jo: Ray that is right, that is why you must have a partner that is willing to go the extra to have sex.
elizabeth: what do you mean tractor
Jo: phoenyxx do you have extreme pain laying on your back?
*** erdy has joined #Disabled
gregsgg: mooooo it said called bumbing bellys
TRACTOR: good advice is what i meant liz
jrt: Hi erdy:)
browser: I feel like I am doing a handstand the whole time , right leg amputated and left leg very weak
browser: get tired very fast
judi: Hi erdy
elizabeth: thanks tractor:-)
phoenyxx: Jo: no, and to be honest I've never had sex (yes, really) but I've always assumed I'd meet someone someday and have the chance.
TRACTOR: :}:} liz :}:}
Jo: browser, what is wrong with letting her get in the saddle, or turning her on her side and doing it spoon style.
phoenyxx: what i do know is that the normal position would cause alot of problems.
*** Wheelin has joined #Disabled
HelloKit: Hi Jay
Wheelin: Hi Carly :)
judi: hi wheelin
jrt: well ther are heaps of other postions.....
Wheelin: Hi gang :)
jrt: Hi whellin:)
gregsgg: Hi wheelen
TRACTOR: hi wheelin
*** KarmaKoma has joined #Disabled
Jo: That is why I suggest the different positions. You can still achieve orgasm and your partner also in different positions.
TRACTOR: hi koma
erdy: Hello everyone, this sounds educational
Mimi: hey Jay :o)
gregsgg: hi jay
Jo: Less strain, less pain, much more pleasure. Hi erdy. You found us.
TRACTOR: hi jay
elizabeth: i will be right back
jrt: I know this sounds silly, but there are lots of books with infromation on the various positions that can be used
Wheelin: (: !w!W
erdy: Yes,Jo finally
*** KarmaKoma has left irc (KarmaKoma)
browser: some have very low penetration though, not as stimulating
Mimi: brb
phoenyxx: Jo: am I being naive or would someone be accepting of 1. my lack of experience and 2. having to do things differently because of my condition?
jrt: and I dont mean porno books either
Jo: What is that new movie, we don't have it here yet, Karma Sutra, watch it but don't try the acrobatics or you will have worse problems than now. Only a contortionist can do some of those things.
Ray-1: I have a question-- If a guy is nervous about his sexual abilities, would you ladies be offended if he suggested oral sex (either giving or getting) as a beginning?
HelloKit: Simon: If they are not accepting, than they aren't the one for you.
judi: I agree Simon
TRACTOR: good advice kit
phoenyxx: thanks carly, I just wonder sometimes about the believability of someone 27 and not having ever had sex.
Jo: phoenyxx, discuss it thoroughly with you partner before time. Explain your difficulties and if they are a caring person they will be willing to work with you. Also discuss types of protection needed. You don't need more problems.
gregsgg: jo is it true that women are more stimulated verbally them visually ?
Mooooooo: Ray, Im not expert but most relationships i know about have started with oral sex and mutual masturbation
jrt: and it shouldn't mater how experience or inexperienced a person is, if you love them it doesnt matter
judi: No, Ray
elizabeth: hello, i am back did i miss anything
Jo: greg don't know aobut others, but I am not. Touch and participation turn me on more.
jrt: not sure slizabeth???
jrt: elizabeth
elizabeth: yes jrt
gregsgg: Elizabeth how are you?
jrt: I must admit watching things on the net etc turn me on a little
elizabeth: just fine, thank greg
*** judi has left irc (Read error to judi pm17-s14-tier2.evansville.net]: Connection reset by peer)
*** Sue has joined #Disabled
Jo: Ray a lot of women have hangups about oral sex. I would suggest you wear a condom with all the diseases now or have your partner tested before engaging in it.
jrt: Hi sue:)
phoenyxx: jrt: net is a good movie :-) (sorry couldn't resist! :-) )
Sue: Hi back
browser: to me sex if very visual
Ray-1: thanks, jo.
*** judi has joined #disabled
jrt: hi judi:)
elizabeth: browser, i think sex is all in the mind, so many senses come into play
phoenyxx: ....I guess I worry more about attitude than physical limitations...I don't want a potential parter to mistake my catiousness with prudishness about it.
judi: grumble, grumble, server
Jo: #3 Most males with spinal injuries and other problems can have sex with proper stimulation, just as most females can achieve climax with proper stimulation, discussion time:
Jo: phoenyxx, yes but if right person they will care and want to please you.
*** Pyro has joined #disabled
elizabeth: jo and there is the osbon
jrt: hi pyro:)
Pyro: why is this voice?
judi: hi Pyro
HelloKit: Sorry guys, I have to stretch my legs. I'll be back in a few minutes.
Mooooooo: what is osbon?
Jo: elizabeth, osbon, explain please
phoenyxx: Jo: I know that :-) just me worrying a bit too much.
*** HelloKit is now known as KitAway
gregsgg: There was a interesting program on public broadcasting Tv that said more women were visually stimulated by felt that they were being judged by their partner they could not verbally communicate their fantasies without some type of the loss
*** Sue has left irc (Sue)
Jo: phoenyxx, dont' worry so much will make it harder to achieve erection, enjoy the experience and work with the flow.
elizabeth: osbon is a device that help a man with a spinal cord injury or some other physical problem obtain and maintain an erection
Mooooooo: thats an implant?
phoenyxx: Jo: for now, I'd be happy just being in a relationship. If they care enough and the relationship is serious enough there is plenty of time.
phoenyxx: :-)
Jo: greg many men have ego problems, they don't want to think their woman is dreaming of another man, movie star or whatever when they are making love, even if they are dreaming of Marilyn Monroe.
browser: I have spina bifida and I have to have the visual to make up for a lack of sensitivity
Pyro: i like my speakerphone, when someone hangs up it automatically hangs up :)
*** TRACTOR has left irc (TRACTOR)
Jo: phoenyxx, you gotta work on it. Meet people and develope a caring relationship then go to the sex when you are both ready.
gregsgg: osbon? is it And elictronical device ?
elizabeth: no moo it is a small machine that helps blood to enter the mail organ, than a ring is placed on the penis to maintain, it is very common
Amazin1: bye all.....take care
*** Amazin1 has left #disabled
judi: Lower back problems plus multiple joints with arthritis makes anything difficult
phoenyxx: Jo: good advice :-)
jrt: until recently the only sex I wanted was to give John a hand job, I was going through early change of life because of the tablets that I was on
Mimi: in response to Jo's question, well, i've had one orgasm during sex in my whole life, but i find it very hard to accept relying on manual stimulation every time. i feel like i'm missing everything
Mooooooo: Jo, did you have any experience with what i asked you about last month. About teaching parapalegics to have orgasms via stimulation of non sexual areas?
Jo: Yes I have seen them advertised in magazines. I have heard it works well. Principal same as woman sucking on penis. I am being frank an open so don't snigger.
browser: I just read about that on the net elizabeth
elizabeth: yes, they are expensive browser, but you can get them at any sex store for about twenty five bucks
Jo: Mimi, relax, enjoy sex, talk to your partner and let him know what you like, what turns you on and ask him to do that. Sex is two people working together to obtain mutual satisfaction.
Mimi: Jo, in order for him to come he has to physically hurt me...how can I enjoy that?
Jo: Moooooo yes we have many erogenous zones on our body. You can stimulate by touching other areas..
Mooooooo: There is also the Sybian (for women) and Venus (for men)
gregsgg: While trying to my wife was emphasizing that she seemed more worried that to admit she was was to admit that she loved another man
Jo: Mimi that is not normal sex, he needs couseling before you wind up dead.
Mimi: I don't mean abuse
gregsgg: mimi is it that painfull?
jrt: its still ot normal though
jrt: not
judi: What about your needs, Mimi?
Mimi: he just has to...sorry about this guys...pound me so hard that it hurts, otherwise he can't come
Jo: Mimi you should be able to tease him to the point that he could climax if you ran you little finger over his penis.
elizabeth: mimi, do you mean, he likes to hurt you
Ray-1: Regardless, mimi. Does he know he hurts you?
Mimi: no, lisa
elizabeth: jo you are so right
*** KitAway is now known as HelloKit
Mimi: i've told him
Jo: Make him wait longer to penetrate you. Stimulate him so much he is ready to explode then let him enter you, that way he can be gentler.
elizabeth: can i say something here
Mimi: anyway this has nothing to do with disability...so I'm out of order here
*** Pyro has left #disabled
gregsgg: How many people here have pain issues directly related to sex?
Mimi: sorry
Jo: Either manupulate him by hand or orally, built him up till he is going crazy and begging for release.
jrt: not with john, but yes:)
judi: me
*** haa has joined #disabled
* Mimi raises her hand
Ray-1: Say anything you want, Mimi.
Mimi: helen!
judi: Hello haa
Jo: Good gregg. Sex can be painful for handicapped people so work around it and develope ways to have please with less or no pain.
jrt: Hi haa:)
Jo: Yes Mimi you are contributing.
haa: hi phoeyxx
jrt: and it stops you from bottleing it up
phoenyxx: ...so far I know that for me the only thing to minimize pain under such conditions would be to lie still...
phoenyxx: ..........
Jo: Sex should be a beautifuyl pleasurable thing and it can be.
phoenyxx: hey helen :-)
Mimi: so I've heard...:o)
gregsgg: In order for me to act like I was 20 years old and sex was different inpossible
haa: hi hi hi
phoenyxx: but Jo I was told in middle school health class it was dirty :-)
jrt: not something you dred to think about
Jo: Phoenyxx so lie on your back and let her do the work, no one says you can't. But do try to do some things to stimulate her a little also. Play with her breasts, or clitoris.
Jo: the old sex is dirty line. Someone laid a guilt trip on you at an early age and passed their sexual hangups on to you. That was terrible.
jrt: what was dirty???
haa: hello erdy
Jo: Next question.
jrt: its not dirty, far from it:)
Mimi: they did that to me too
phoenyxx: I was just making a point that there are so many contradicting attitudes about it. People say it's dirty and ok at the same time sometimes.
jrt: told you it was dirty?
Jo: Many non handicapped people seem to be of the opinion that handicapped people don't have sex, or if they do that they should not have children. What is your opinion on this?
Mimi: not in so many words, but yes, kind of
Mooooooo: I think some sex acts can be downright disgusting but sex itself is not dirty
Mooooooo: Jo, I have mixed feelings on that
gregsgg: For four years I tried to please my wife and I would literally screem After words now sex As a completly diffent meaning
Mimi: my opinion is that this is bullsh*t :o)
phoenyxx: Jo, some people don't even think handicapped people are interested in someone of the opposite sex!
jrt: I think as long as they are capable of looking after a child then they should have children
Jo: I am not telling you to do anything kinky or crude we are talking about loving acts between two consenting adults.
phoenyxx: jrt- agreement on that :-)
Mooooooo: I know handicapped can and do have sex, but depending on the disability, choosing whether or not to have a child should be thought about carefully
* phoenyxx asks apologies for coming across shy about this
*** ChanServ has left irc (Killed (slavegirl (3 hour auto update)))
Jo: gregg, sound like you tried and problem might be her. She needs counseling more than you do.
Mimi: true, Daniel...I had to do my own thinking about that one too
browser: I am scared to have the responsibility of children, on the border line of being able to produce a child
*** ChanServ has joined #disabled
Mooooooo: I have fears about having children with my disability
*** Acondra has joined #Disabled
elizabeth: mmooo, why is that
Mimi: hello Acondra
Jo: second part to quesiton. Have you ever considered genetic testing to see if your disability/ or meds you have taken, could cause birth defects in your children?
Acondra: Hi
Ray-1: I've got to go but I think we've only scratched the surface. I suggest we come back to this topic in about two months, giving the more conservative people plenty of warning.
Mooooooo: Because my childhood was hell and i dont want mine to go through the same thing
phoenyxx: Jo: I've thought about it.
Jo: Hi Acondra welcome to meeing, discussion time come on in.
haa: i get help to be a parent
jrt: dont daniel, even when people are so called 'normel' they can have disabled children
Ray-1: Bye everybody. Take care, Mimi.
elizabeth: moo, but you would know how to fix that, if you care history would not repeat itself
phoenyxx: ray-1 I wasn't offended here, actually glad people are talking frankly and openly and with maturity about it.
browser: I have had genetic councelling
Jo: right jrt.
Mooooooo: it all depends on genetics
jrt: bye ray:)
Mimi: but Daniel...you can avoid all the mistakes that were make with you
judi: If I had known about my RA when I had my kids I would have been very cautious, but I firmly believe God means for each child that is born, should be
*** Ray-1 has left #disabled
Acondra: I'm pretty new here what this room about
Mimi: I didn't have genetic counselling but I was informed of the risks of getting pregnant while on my meds
HelloKit: Me too, Daniel. Last time we were in RI, Chris and I were babysitting his niece & nephew - he left me alone with them and Bryant (1 yr.) started climbing the stairs... I couldn't go after him and when he fell down the stairs I freaked.
gregsgg: She was so concerned about hurting me that for us having to the just emotionally and physically, developed a strain so hard for her that she was unable to reach satisfaction
HelloKit: If he had been hurt I never would have forgiven myself.
jrt: Daniel that means that you would be a fantastic parent, you would want only the best for youe child and would give them the love and protection that they deserve
Jo: My doctors have suggested genetic counseling and testing to see how our gene pool has been changed my medication are very important. Then you can decide yourself if you want to have a child or adopt or not have children because of risks to them.
browser: with spina bifida , people , normal people have a 4 percent chance of concieving a spina bifida child
browser: my chand is 3 percent more
*** fenicia has joined #disabled
Mimi: Carly, you wouldn't be in that situation as a mother, you would have a safer house, things would be arranged so that something like that wouldn't happen
jrt: Hi em:)
HelloKit: Hi Em :o)
fenicia: hello :)
elizabeth: you know moo and browser, you have to ask yourself, would you rather not have been born
gregsgg: Hi Em!
Jo: gregg that is when you both should have sought out help. In order to keep relationships alive we must get doctors and therpists to include sexual therapy as part of rehab. And our spouses must join in the therapy.
elizabeth: i doubt that
browser: chance
Mooooooo: Elizabeth, thats a loaded question...
*** Acondra has left irc (Acondra)
Mimi: browser, with my meds, the chances of having a spina bifida child are quadrupled
Jo: elizabeth that is another whole topic for another night.
*** Acondra has joined #Disabled
erdy: bye
Mooooooo: My mother had no idea, but I know that mine could be passed on
browser: why elizabeth, how do yo come to that conclusion
haa: bye erdy
*** Acondra has left irc (Acondra)
judi: No one has mentioned the incontinence issue
Jo: That is why I have brought this up. It is very important if doctors don't tell you that everyone knows to check before you get in that situation.
browser: what meds are you on mimi
elizabeth: but, everyone has those questions, not just disabled, we all have our darkness
Mooooooo: true, Judi
browser: I was going to judi , too embarrassed
Jo: Ive seen a lot of discussion on killing disabled children, abortion, etc. But if we use preventative measures, these problems won't exist.
jrt: but how mauch of a chance thats what you would have to ask the doctors Daniel, dont denie yourself children before you find that out
erdy: bye Helen, check your mail tomorrow
Mimi: when I decided to go ahead and had children, I knew that I might have a disabled child, and I decided to go ahead and do it anyway...perhaps this is a naive thought, but I grew up around disabled people and they were happy, so I thought whatever happened my children would be happy too
haa: okay erdy i will
HelloKit: I agree Jo, but I don't think deciding not to have the child is considered a preventative measure.
Mimi: browser, I'm on tegretol
phoenyxx: .
jrt: good on you Mimi:)
*** erdy has left irc (erdy)
Mimi: and it turned out fine :o)
Jo: This includes having sex in the first place and using proper protection from disease to if you want to conceive or not.
browser: what does tegretol do for you mimi?
phoenyxx: good for you Mimi :-)
Mimi: it controls my epilepsy, browser
jrt: I on the other hand have been told that I cant have any ore children, Sarah is it
gregsgg: It was hard to begin with she had childand issues That have the bus and therapy for four years we've or hopefully she had become comfortable and I thoght she's trusted me
Jo: One last question, females if you are on meds that make you vagina dry, have you discussed this with your doctor?
browser: ok, thanks mimi, learn something new everyday
Mimi: np :o)
elizabeth: jo that happens to all woman, ky jelly
Jo: jrt I got told that 25 years ago after the accident. They removed the highly damaged baby factory and just left me the playpen.
judi: KY JELLY
* Mimi thirds KY Jelly
Mooooooo: ky jelly smells bad
Jo: elizabeth ky jelly isn't always the best, but it is one option.
browser: lol jo
haa: no i only discuss sex with my husband
jrt: lol, I know, just thank god we had Sarah:)
gregsgg: K Y jelly knows not a preferred lubricants it because it tends to eat rubber
Jo: There is a vaginal hormone that can be used every other day that will keep the vagina moist and you put alittle on the uretha and it helps cut way down on infections.
Mooooooo: vasalene eats rubber, KY jelly doesnt
Jo: right greg many substances do, but not KY jelly, they recommend it instead of vaseline.
gregsgg: sorry moooooo thats what my doc told me
elizabeth: you know what guys, woman far more enjoy the closeness than the actual act
jrt: true elizabeth:)
judi: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Mooooooo: vasalene is also not good for a womans health
Jo: I went to the OB/GYN before this meeting and he advises lubrication or hormones before sex. He also advises you drink a large glass of water after sex! kKnow why?
phoenyxx: elizabeth: closeness is ok with me :-)
jrt: well sometimes
elizabeth: okay, sometimes
elizabeth: :-)
Mooooooo: why jo?
browser: thanks for the chat all, got to go, wife needs attention, bye
*** browser has left #disabled
gregsgg: That's why I hear Elizabeth
HelloKit: Why the glass of water?
Jo: I think many women enjoy foreplay and the anticiaption of the act being prolonged, it increases pleasure for us. Gets our whole body involved.
Mimi: absolutely, Elizabeth
elizabeth: yes, but afterplay is just as important
Mimi: yes, please no 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am'
gregsgg: To help get some sweat replaced?
judi: decrease uti
Jo: Bacteria get into the uretha when having sex. Doc says always drink large glass of water after to make sure you flush out that bacteria. Washing alone will not get it. This reduces infections.
HelloKit: lol Mimi, that's how my mom refers to her cats & dogs breeding
Jo: greg maybe in the male, and if was a really hot sweatty time for the female, but that is the real reason.
Mimi: that's how JF and I breed :oP
jrt: lol yes
HelloKit: lol
Mooooooo: what about toys for the disabled?
Jo: Males his advice to you all is. Good old soap and water. Wash that thing and your balls really really good and pee afterwards.
haa: hi carly
HelloKit: Hi Helen :o)
elizabeth: moo, toys are great, but both must be confortable
Jo: Mooooooo toys?
gregsgg: Though best advice it is to protect yourself because
judi: And I was emabarrassed asking about incontinence
Mooooooo: pleasure todays
Mooooooo: pleasure toys
Jo: I went eight minutes past my alloted time, but I thing we all had an informational meeting. I hope I answered some of your questions.
HelloKit: Keep going, Jo, it's no problem.
haa: my kids make me nuts but boy am iglad to have them
Mooooooo: you're fine, Jo
judi: Not mine Jo
gregsgg: judi are you incontinence/
Jo: judi I suffer from incontinence. I use big blue pads under me when having sex and go for it. I am not giving up sex and neither is my hubby.
gregsgg: ?
jrt: congrads Jo on a great meeting:))))))))
phoenyxx: judi- i get embarrassed talking about both! :-)
HelloKit: The hour is just a minimum goal... ;o)
judi: Sometimes, lower spinw damage
phoenyxx: jo i was worried about the same thing.
elizabeth: jo, it was a great meeting thanks, lots to thank about
judi: Yea, thanks Jo
Jo: phoenyxx, I used to get embarassed, now I let it all hang out and educate people. They get used to it or can get another friend. Life is too short to go through it worrying all the time.
jrt: elixabeth do you have an e mail address?
gregsgg: yes i have that is hard not to you know control your self
jrt: elizabeth
gregsgg: somtimes
judi: embarrassing
Jo: gregg, pee just before sex, if you give her a golden shower anyway, tell her it is a bonus, new twist on sex.
HelloKit: Aww man, look what you guys did...
* HelloKit takes off behind her privacy screen... :o)
*** HelloKit is now known as LitterBox
gregsgg: lol
Jo: I knew if we talked about that she would have to make a trip to the littler box.
* jrt whips the steam built up off the screen:)
Jo: We should have gotten together and run a lottery on how long she would take it.
Mimi: Do we have to quit?
judi: lol
jrt: no
Mooooooo: Well one of these days I hope to put all this into practice
phoenyxx: off topic for a sec, but I need to ask- who was that angie person on here earlier? I got the impression she was causing problems.
gregsgg: Friday Frank that it harder sometimes to adjust, because medication stress and fatigue all adds up for males
jrt: you will daniel, you will:)
Mimi: personally it's nothing to shout about Daniel :o/
Jo: no you can discuss all you want as part of you normal talk. I just got you started.
Jo: gregg, medication, stess and fatigue do the same things to females. At times we can't climax because we are just to tired, doped up, or stressed out. Not just male problem.
Mooooooo: Only worry is will it be as pleasurable with a partner as it is without one
judi: I wondered that too Simon
jrt: I'm not pheonyxx
jrt: sure
elizabeth: lol, moo a thousand times better
Jo: phoenyxx, don't know who she was but she went away when ignored.
Mimi: have any of you girls ever had to bring up the issue of...ahem...toys...with your partner?
jrt: one day I will learn to type and put sentances togeather:)
Jo: Moooooooo it is for me. It is for ferret face.
elizabeth: mimi, i have, they are fun
gregsgg: Also but it not as embarrassing also probably just has frustrating
phoenyxx: Jo...she seemed offended at the topic, then when I made a joke she immediately wanted my email address.
*** LitterBox is now known as HelloKit
* HelloKit returns, looking much more comfortable.
jrt: no,john is always ready for it....
Mimi: I'm not sure I could handle mentioning it to him
haa: my daughter keeps taking my toys
Jo: Yes Mimi, even this old lady has tried toys. Ever try knotting a silk rope, putting it up his rectum and yanking it out as he climaxes.
Mooooooo: Mimi, when i win the lotta I'll buy you a Sybian
gregsgg: lol
HelloKit: You guys think I don't go back and read what you say about me while I'm gone??? :oP
elizabeth: mimi, just surprise him and keep your sense of humor, use them on him he will love it
judi: As intersting as this is, its bedtime-night all. Jo, you did a great job.
Mimi: hmmmmmmmmmm
Jo: he he he knew you would thats why I said it.
Mooooooo: nite Judi
HelloKit: lol
gregsgg: good night
*** judi has left irc (Leaving)
Jo: Inexpensive toy and ferret would kill me if I ever did it.
haa: good night
jrt: yes I can see me getting into lots of troulble with that one too Jo:)
gregsgg: Yet but sometimes you may let him know before you do that
Jo: Some women have little glass balls they insert in the vagina and keep them there all the time. It stimulates muscle tone and keeps them moist. Also they can be sterilized.
Jo: No I don't use them, just know about them.
Mimi: or do your kegel exercises
elizabeth: jo, glad to see you talking, i just don't want to cross a line in this discussion, i hope i haven't i took it very serious
Mooooooo: cant they get lost, Jo?
Mimi: that sounds uncomfortable to me, Jo
Jo: There are vibrators, ticklers, different kinds of condoms, some people like pain and use whips some have leather outfits or play sailor, lots of different things to spice up their lives.
Mimi: anyone ever try a French Tickler?
Jo: Nope, They stay in there, asked about it at docs.
Jo: Yes Mimi.
*** Trojan has joined #Disabled
Mimi: and???
Mimi: hi Trojan
gregsgg: And they have attachments for a cigarette lighters and their cars and will wires going up their legs. I drove class ! for nine years
Jo: There is oral sex, anal sex. And that nick fits right in here.
HelloKit: lol
Jo: Trojan you just gave me a big smile. he he
Mimi: how was the french tickler Jo?
Trojan: :)
jrt: Hi trojan:)
Trojan: hi everybody
elizabeth: hello trojan
* Trojan is 18 years old, male and has Asperger's
Trojan: hi
Jo: That was about 30 years ago. It was ok I think, but I can enjoy myself without toys and going into elaborate outfits etc.
gregsgg: hello trojan
Trojan: hi
Jo: Hello Trojan, at meeting we discussed sex and it has carried over a little, don't let us scare you away. Welcome.
* Mooooooo had a Venus but sent it back
Trojan: :) thankyou
Jo: I am 52, been para for 25 years from an auto accident. Live in Texas, married to ferret face for 17 years and have daughter from late husband that is 26
Gage: bu bye all
Mooooooo: bye gage
jrt: bye gage:)
Trojan: bye Gage
Gage: *wave*
*** Gage has left irc ( null])
Jo: Moooooooo save you money, box with chicken livers and fur around opening cheaper, men used it for years during wars. he he
Mimi: bye gAge
*** Pyro has joined #disabled
Mimi: GROSS!!!!
* Mimi gags
Mooooooo: eeeew
Mimi: hey Jeff
gregsgg: This sacks emotional, psychological, or as you get older puer fantasy
Jo: Mimi the
Jo: French though it up.
gregsgg: is sex sorry
* jrt female 39 married 1 child 9yo Sarah, legalley blind
gregsgg: whaaaaaaaa!
* phoenyxx is 27 and single
Jo: Ok change topic thats enough education for one night.
Mooooooo: well this was easier than chicken
Mooooooo: but cost more per pound :o)
gregsgg: no I just about there
Mimi: lol
jrt: yes, the children are getting restless:)
elizabeth: are we changing the subject
Jo: You can let them back in I washed my mouth out with soap after that one and will behave.
jrt: I think so????